How you know you're very definitely a mum and no longer a fabulously cool thrusting happening young thing...

[angelene]

Singing along to the Wombats single and replacing 'Let's dance to Joy Division...' with 'Call the Koala Brothers...'

Any others?

When teenage waiters refer to you as 'love'.

When you own Tupperware and always know exactly how many slices of bread are left.

When you can always produce a tissue at the drop of a hat wherever you are.

When funky young barmen look you straight in the eye, and serve you with nary a blush.

When you're prepared to pick snot from another humans nose and when you take great interest in the colour and texture/consistancy of said humans biological waste.

When you avoid pubs because they're busy.

When you can put your hand on 4 packets of baby wipes but haven't a clue where your stiletoes are.

When a night in with your partner involves pyjamas and pringles instead of handcuffs and baby oil.

When you deliberately have your hair cut so you can tuck it behind your ears.

when you ditch some fabby high sexy boots because they're impractical.

When you buy an iron. As opposed to reluctantly receiving one as a gift from your grandma.

cruch - ha ha, same goes for poo in terms of colour, texture, consistency and it's relationship to the likelihood of having to beg for time off work the following day

When you walk out of the house not caring what you look like because you are so tired. I went to the shops this morning with weetabix dreadlocks and I knew they were there...god, and there was me pre mother saying "I'm not going to let myself go"!!!!

When people ask for your child's name but not yours...

when you say Oh Look a Digger and you realise there are no kids around

When you had childcare and could have gone out for the night but instead you went to bed at 8.30 to watch Masterchef.

When you have to spend bank holiday Mondays actually DOING STUFF, rather than spending it on the sofa getting stoned and watching sky sports news

When you tell people you have three children and they just accept it rather than say 'Gosh you don't look old enough to have three' like you want them to say.

When you turn down another glass of wine because you know you will be woken Very Early by small people.

When you have shiny streams of snot(from giant hugs from snotty toddler) on the shoulder of all your nice cardies.

When you put you had in your coat pocket and get a fist full of snotty tissue.

How you know you're very definitely a mum and no longer a fabulously cool thrusting happening young thing?

Look in the mirror.

When your handbag is no longer filled with lipsticks that have lids on, pieces of paper with boy's phone numbers on, the latest indie CD and pack of malboro lights. It is instead filled with tissues, lipsticks with no lids on, dummy, cotton wool balls, plasters and pieces of paper with school/doctor's phone numbers on.

When having the time to give the house a really good clean! seems like a luxury.

You get called 'Madam'...I hate that!

when dh takes kids out for afternoon and oyu're pleased cos you can get to that pile of bills youve been ignoring

When you are no longer called by your own name, you are so-and-so's mummy.

When there are three of you sat at the table and one of you is having a poo...
(or is that just my ds?)

When your husband says 'hoobygaloo' when he is surprised at something.

Ninah - I did that the other night!

Out for first time since birth of DD2 with work friends (due to return after summer hols).

All sat in reasonably sophisticated restaurant ie no soft play.

I point out of window and exclaim - ooooh look! fire engine with lights flashing!

They all (single childless youngsters) looked at me as if I was unhinged!

When Spanish wiaters call you Senora rather than senorita

when an afternoon at a garden centre appeals

when you get annoyed if someone takes a towel out of the cupboard when there's a perfectly clean one in the bathroom

when policemen start to look young (a cliche but so true)

and so much more...