How you know you're very definitely a mum and no longer a fabulously cool thrusting happening young thing...

[angelene]

Singing along to the Wombats single and replacing 'Let's dance to Joy Division...' with 'Call the Koala Brothers...'

Any others?

You queue for disco tickets....

for your child's school disco.

When Monday mornings are a marvellous prospect because you get to go to work and talk to adults guilt guilt

When small boys call you 'Mrs' and try to get you to go into the offy for them

When you stand pushing your shopping trolley back and forth, and there's not a child to be seen.

When you can't say the name of any animal without then making the appropriate noise.
When you buy your jeans from Next in the sale.
When the most important thing about those jeans is that they won't give you builder's bum when sitting on the floor with the baby.

"When you stand pushing your shopping trolley back and forth, and there's not a child to be seen."

When (as a friend of mine did) you reach over to your important client's plate when having lunch and cut up his meat for him.....

when you say 'oh isnt daddy clever'

then turn around and realise your kid aint in the room / went to bed hours ago etc

out for lunch with a fellow mummy (no kids with us) - both early 30's

ogling scrummy waiter and having what we thought was cool flirty banter

laughing at 50-something ladies next to us doing the same thing (but obviously in a slightly desparate and innaproppriate way )

realising that in the eyes of young waiter boy that there is NO difference bewtween us and the other ladies...

oh, and as per shopping trolley pushing - swaying back and forth in baby-calming mode when you are not carrying your baby but just waiting alone in a queue

when you say that you have 4 children, and nobody looks surprised

Message withdrawn

when you have bits of mashed biscuit/banana/unidentifiable food on the back of your jeans after sitting in it when it has been discarded by your lovely child!

and when you realise this the following day when you pick up said jeans from the floor chair you don't care and just put them on again!

walked around new look and primark last week and realised I would look a total idiot if I doned said clothes!!
No longer can I get away with trendy clothes
I am only 32

When you try to grab your boss' hand as you're crossing the road.

lol at holding hands with boss! and fireengines /diggers!
hanky..yip always to the ready

refusing to cross til its green ..even your own!!

When you get a treasured night out to go to a gig and your bag gets searched on the way in, and the doorman holds up a small tupperware pot filled with dried apricots and rice cakes.

When you reprimand teenage and student boys for riding bikes on the pavement and they stop straight away.

when you have to tuck a flabby pouch into your jeans and there seems to be no possibility of you ever bearing your midriff again

im still a happening young thing

When you say to your teenager, 'When I was your age....' and he interrupts with 'during the war'.

The day that you put your hand out behind you in a shop, as if to hold a child by the hand, then you realise you are alone.

Yeah, I did that, more than once!

Your bag is mostly full of kid related stuff and you squeeze your purse and phone in.

when you look at photos of yourself you realise you really are beginning to look like your mum.....

you think about whether you will be warm/dry etc enough in your chosen outfit before leaving the house

when you announce in the company of another adult (that you don't know very well) that "I'm just off to do a wee-wee"

when you go supermarket shopping on your own, pay for your stuff then say to your trolley "right then, off we go to the car" (now do it online)

seeing a pair of shoes in the sale and thinking...
They're looking so comfy I'll buy a pair, ands pair for mum,mil and granny too.
I did this.