How you know you're very definitely a mum and no longer a fabulously cool thrusting happening young thing...

[angelene]

Singing along to the Wombats single and replacing 'Let's dance to Joy Division...' with 'Call the Koala Brothers...'

Any others?

when your best friend phones you at quarter to eight on a sunday morning to discuss her latest feeding/nappy/teeth crisis and YOU DON'T MIND.

Fantastic thread has really made me chuckle.

I knew I had "made it" when I had tissues, plasters and a snack in my bag!

And the fact that I wander around singing "Oh my name is iggle piggle......"

When you spend the evening of your 35 birthday delousing your and Ds1's hair then notice DS2's has pooed in the bath where you have put him for safe keeping. You start to scoop poo out so you can rinse your hair in bath only just realising in time how utterly disgusting that is! DP arrives home all cheery and 'Did you enjoy your birthday?' whereupon you thrust pooey wet baby and nitty crying 5 year old into his unsuspecting hands and go and hide in your bedroom.

When you have an itchy scalp and you immediately suspect nits and do a quick nit combing session. I actually had a reaction to my new shampoo.

When you try and sit down to write something at work and the only thing in your head is "Mika maka nika naka wika waka woo."

I couldn't believe it when I hastily licked my thumb to clean the toothpaste/Nutella off my DD's cheek when she got to school - I remember my mum doing that and thinking it was something I'd NEVER stoop to!

Being at the beach on a rare sunny day only to find that I had no swimsuit. Stripping down to horrible underwear, including unsexy nursing bra and primark knickers. Best swim I ever had!

When you say words like "Poo" and "sick-up" in quite a loud voice in public and don't bat and eyelid, or give a shit that a handsome stranger is within earshot.

When you're toddler talks back to you a ridiculously high pitched sing song voice. Like a mirror to your utterly irreversible descent into a moronic form of parentdom from which there is scant chance of return.

When you actually look forward to Charlie & Lola coming on.

You carry a spare nappy in your handbag just in case.

You respond to being called so and so's Mummy at school.

You find shrivelled up peas under your dining table but can't remember when the last time you had peas.

You know where all the local soft plays are and how good their coffee is.

Your car and bin smell the same.

Great thread!!

When you wipe snotty noses with the inside of your tshirt (cause you cant find a tissue) and then a little while later pull the tshirt off over your head and end up with a face looking like slugs have had a dance on it!!!

when you dress up in your best clothes to go to Ikea!

When a lie in is 7.30!

When I used to have a variety of MAC lipsticks and Juicy Tubes in the side pocket of my handbag and now I just have spare breast pads

You use mumsnet?

When you automatically say 'wow, good boy' when your friends burp.

Nelliesmum, lol I do things like that with my ds all the time!

when you live in black sweat pants and wear your old work clothes for best!

I heard this from a friend before I had kids:

'I was on top and realised I was humming 'row, row, row your boat''.

Still cracks me up. Only now I understand how she managed to do it, whereas when she told me I was totally freaked out!

Also, the other thing is when you use safer contraceptives than a teenager - because you understand what having a baby when you can't really afford to have one really means.

Or, as just happened, your husband phones down from upstairs to let you know that your pyjamas aren't in the usual place as he's hugging them in bed to warm them!