How you know you're very definitely a mum and no longer a fabulously cool thrusting happening young thing...

[angelene]

Singing along to the Wombats single and replacing 'Let's dance to Joy Division...' with 'Call the Koala Brothers...'

Any others?

When your friends' teenage daughters now look and dress like you still do - in your head!

"Out for first time since birth of DD2 with work friends (due to return after summer hols).
All sat in reasonably sophisticated restaurant ie no soft play.
I point out of window and exclaim - ooooh look! fire engine with lights flashing !They all (single childless youngsters) looked at me as if I was unhinged"

ROFL! Got to be a contender for quote of the week

When you are child free in the supermarket and start to rock the trolley back and forth

Last weekend I went on a bike safe course. I'm so used to just picking up nappy bag, hand bag and kids that I had to go back to the house three times to collect bike keys, bike jacket then crash helmet

When you know most of the songs on cbeebies and walk around singing them all day even when there is no kids around.

When you start looking at nice thomas the tank engine bags instead of nice designer ones.

When you can no longer relax when you go for drinks with the girls, constantly checking home to check baby is ok. My friends usually say "he's fine!" the minute I get my phone out of my bag... and also missing him every minute I'm away from him.

Oh, and baby talk! It's hard to switch it off sometimes...

When everyone in the meeting pulls out fancy pens and the only thing you've got in you handback to write with is a packet of crayons.

A friend and I were in the garden with our toddlers the other day, and my dd brought us a 'cup of tea'. It was only after standing there for 5 minutes or so chatting that we realised we'd both been pretending to sip the 'tea' even though dd was nowhere around!

Oh yes - and have caught myself using Letterland characters when spelling something over the phone to some young sounding whippersnapper in a call centre. The sad thing is that he didn't even twig what I was giggling about .

When you empty out your bag and see it is lined with snotty tissues and biscuit crumbs. Same with the car.

When the baby pukes on you and you think, "hey, it's warm today, that won't take long to dry out" and you think this is A Good Thing.

The boot of your car is filled with scooters and the back of the car is filled with bits of lego and the previous contents of your LO's wellies (straw and spiders in my case).

when the cinema seems too loud

when you can't stand clubbing as it's too noisy and crowded

when you get excited about the weather conditions in relation to getting your washing dry

when you watch interior design programs and instead of thinking... 'what lovely open spaces' you think 'but where would you put the kids and all their toys while making dinner?'

when your bed smells slightly of baby poo instead of sex and massage oil

when instead of fitting everything you'll need to be gone for 3 days into the pockets of your pants you can't leave the house for 3 hours without 3 bags and a buggy

when coke tastes 'too bubbly'

when you actually worry before your first night out in 2 years that maybe you should drive yourself as you can't imagine being able to stay awake til 2am if that's when your driver is coming home

when people aren't surprised when you say you have kids

when you'd really rather stay home and cuddle up on the couch than go out for the night with dp even though you've been offered babysitting

when you think '80 euros for tickets to a gig, who can afford that!'

When pampering yourself means cutting your toenails.

When you rejoice at warm, dry, days because your washing can go on the line.

When you then mutter and grumble about warm evenings because DS tends to wake up if it's too hot.

When, genuinely, you would give your right arm for a evening filled with a book, quiet and possibly a cup of tea but don't care if you never have sex again.

when you manage to finish a wee BEFORE someone flushes and you feel pleased.

When wearing spanx pants has become the norm.

When you consider staying up past 9pm as a late night.

When you go to Millets to get a GOOD waterproof coat as you can't steer a buggy while holding an umbrella, and you shake your head in wonder when you see people in white/cream coats and think how do they keep it,so clean and snot free?

When your friend pops round for a brew and you can't hold a decent conversation because you've got your eyes and ears on your lo. My common phrase seems to be "I'm sorry, go on..."

When I go into Gap and spend more time in the baby section that the ladies section!

When, recently, some young boys called me "missus".

The shame....

When you're trudging back to your tent at 10pm at a music festival with a spectrum of young infants and children and every other bugger is heading back in with their booze and glad-rags

When I no longer notice women's handbags or shoes, just their babies (and prams)

When you load all your kids into the car, shut the doors and decide to loiter outside it before getting in to get a nanosecond of peace and quiet.

When you know more about go-gos than gok wan.

When you think that the way belts are worn this season, around the tummy, is a definite no go area but buy one anyway so you feel a tad cool.

When going to a committee meeting is a night out.

You finally get the Sensodyne / Sensitive teeth thing.

when you only really dance at weddings
when you go to the bar in a pub and realise you're not really sure what a round costs because it's so long since you've been OUT
when the first two things on your to do list, which used to say things like 'pack for new york trip' and 'get pedicure', are 'slugs' and 'tax return'
when it's so long since you've worn nail varnish on your toes that when you do, your ds points at your feet and bursts into tears, presuming i think some horrible affliction.
when you could walk past a building site in your knickers for all they care, nobody is going to wolfwhistle
(when i was pregnant, i was absolutely huge at the front and relatively normal from back view. i was walking down the road to work in a dress and heels and a load of builders coming past in a van wolfwhistled at me from behind. when they overtook me, looked round and realised i was about eight months pregnant they actually leaned out of the van and apologised profusely. crushing, really)
GENIUS thread btw