Chair confiscated of 6yo at school

[Eyreofindifference]

My DS was upset at bed time last night, he said he felt embarrassed at school. He swung on his chair, and was reminded not to, swung again, another reminder, and later in the day swung a third time and then his chair was taken away for the rest of the afternoon. He said he had to stand to do his writing at his desk for his science lesson. He felt embarrassed, some of the children were laughing at him and finding it entertaining.

I’m a teacher myself, secondary rather than primary, and I know that children will have consequences for poor behaviour.

DS is only six though, he was forgetting and leaning back in his chair. Do you think it’s worth raising with the school or just leaving it? I don’t like the thought of him feeling embarrassed or ‘on the spot’. For some more context, we had parents evening earlier this week and his teacher didn’t raise any behavioural issues. We did, however, discuss how anxious DS can get when he feels like attention is on him, and his teacher thought that perhaps encouraging him to read out loud in the lessons would support him to overcome this, as she also had recognised that he gets upset if he feels like eyes are on him.

Would you mention anything to the school?

What a very sensible move by the teacher, to remove any risk of head injury by the consistent swinging.

Your child will have learned a valuable life lesson, that actions have consequences, some of which he may not like, and classrooms have rules that have to be followed, to ensure the safety of all.

Because life lesson, head injury and consequences has not been mentioned at all over the last 10 pages.

FFS. Do you have kids this age? It’s really normal behaviour. Even for any age, adults included, deeply formed habits are very difficult to break. You do them subconsciously without even thinking. The amount of times I’ve been taking notes at work and put the top of the pen in my mouth, as a habit I’ve (and many other people) done my whole life. Then thought, ‘ew that pen lid is probably gross..must not put it in my mouth again’..then 2 minutes later I find myself doing it again! It’s how our brains are wired. All these “it’s a worry that he can’t listen”, “he must have never been told no”, basically calling the OP a shit mother, are ridiculous 🙄

That didnt happen though. The was zero balance. A six year old was singled out to stand whilst everyone else sat. Worth it was the intention or not he was embarrassed infront of his peers. Because he was fidgety and could not sit still and write. A movement break and trying again would have been reasonable. Him feeling uncomfortable for a prolonged period was not necessary. Where was the balance. If i was his mum i would complain. Thats too much.

It was laughable, you're right!

If your mum, supposedly a primary school teacher, ever "hugged it out" with a child she'd had to correct, then I can assure you, she's the one and only teacher I've EVER known do that. It's bonkers behaviour. It's perfectly normal, and right, for a child to be a bit upset after a telling off. And if they deserved it, which the OP child did, then that feeling of upset might stop them doing a dangerous act next time.
Truly, I'd love to meet your mum. I feel we'd have a LOT to discuss.

As a teacher teaching in 2026, not 1956, I’d expect her/him not to use shame as a punishment. I’d expect them to consider that, as a 6-year-old, he may struggle to sit still all day and that the swinging could be a sign that he needs movement or sensory stimulation. I’d expect them to consider what they could do to support him. Eg. They could suggest a wiggle cushion, rubber bands so he can swing safely, or consider that they need to incorporate more movement into their lessons. That’s what a good teacher would do, they’d understand that we’ve come a long way since we thought shaming kids to ‘teach them a lesson’ was a good idea. It might be effective in stopping the behaviour but it’s also effective in making the child feel shit about themselves. And for those that will say, ‘as if the teacher would have time to do all that, how are they supposed to give one child all that attention when they’ve got 30 kids to try and control etc etc’. It’s really not that hard or time-consuming, it just involves a bit of creative thinking, which primary teachers are supposed to be good at.

No he doesn’t, he’s swinging on his chair that doesn’t pose a risk to anyone else.

What's this "supposedly". I think you'll find there are more ways than your stone age view. I think you would be on a hiding to nothing with my mum.

Glad you admit that telling off upsets a child, so why do it.

Gently explain. Ask his opinion. Give him ownership. These will get the same results without the child being upset-what does that achieve?

Given that she did upset him, then yes, I think a meeting with him and mum would be a good idea. They might have ideas to share with the teacher, better ideas than hers and why not? Does she always know better? She didn't in this case and that's for sure.

A group hug at the end of the session would bring closure. Everyone would feel better. The child could start to trust his teacher again, he would know his mum has his back and he would also know that his voice is just as important as his teacher's. And do you know why that should be? It's because it is.

I love it! 😂

I really hope you're not a teacher like mummy, because you'd get eaten alive, and not just by the kids. Staff and parents as well.

Genuinely one of the funniest exchanges I've ever had on this site. Thank you! But don't worry, I won't bother you any more about it. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday. 😘

There are plenty of examples on this thread of where a child swinging on a chair has caused harm to others

I bet he won’t do it again! My 5 year old did this recently at school, and was upset about being told off and ‘everybody staring’. Has she done it again? No. Is she still happy in her class? Yes. I am also a primary teacher, and am happy with how it was dealt with. I get so nervous about children falling backwards and hitting their head too, so I am glad DD’s teacher stopped her from doing it!

What teacher would have time to coddle every single child in their class? When will they actually get the learning part done?

All this coddling creates a bunch of entitled inept adults who are insufferable to be around. I can't imagine working in office with a half a dozen people swinging in their office chairs all day and then occasionally one of them tips back and falls

And if the teacher has to do this with every child who is doing something less-than-ideal/unsafe/disruptive, when will they find time to do any actual teaching, @MeetMeByTheRoses?

Not to mention the fact that the teacher had already asked the child to stop tipping his chair, and the child was still doing it - so the softly softly approach did not work.

A bit off topic, but IF it is actually happening, your mother needs to be very careful with the amount of touching and hugging of students taking place in her classroom. Group hugs are not appropriate for many reasons. A review of safeguarding policies might be advisable.

No, she is retired but how sad that even a group hug that included the mother of a child should be viewed as inappropriate.

I believe that even infant teachers are no longer allowed to help littles ones apply suncream. If this is so, again how awfully sad and sterile.

Good. Hopefully he’ll remember not to do it again.
More embarrassing/dangerous if he had fallen.
Please do not complain over this.