DS10 said his birthday was rubbish because I didn’t get him one decent present

[Dizevan]

DS turned 10 yesterday and this morning before school he told me his birthday was rubbish. Apparently I should have got him one good present instead of a load of things he didnt actually want.

I spent about £110 altogether which is a lot for me. I got him a football, a football shirt, a lego set he’d mentioned wanting and a couple of smaller bits. Got his favourite cake as well and let him choose what we had for tea. Nothing amazing but I thought it was a decent birthday and he’d seemed happy enough opening everything yesterday.

The thing is he wants a Switch 2. Has been going on about it for months because one of his friends got one for his birthday a few months ago. He knew he wasnt getting one though because I’d already told him I couldnt afford it. He didnt even ask for one for his actual birthday this year, he’d asked for the other things I’d bought him, which is why I thought I’d done alright really.

This morning he was saying I should have just bought one decent thing rather than wasting money on stuff he didnt want. The lego was something he’d mentioned before and he played with it yesterday so I dont know if he genuinely didnt want any of it or if he’s just annoyed about the Switch.

I’m not expecting him to be over the moon with everything I buy him and I know he’s only 10, but I was quite hurt by it. I’d put money aside for weeks and tried to get him things he’d like. I cant just magic up the money for a Switch because someone at school has one.

His dad hasnt contributed to his presents this year either but thats a separate issue really and I wasnt expecting him to.

I dont want to make him feel bad for being disappointed but I also dont want him thinking birthdays are rubbish unless he gets something expensive. Am I expecting too much gratitude at 10? Would you have a word with him after school or just leave it?

But birthday/xmas is probably the 2 times a year a kid can get the things they really want. If they can’t get them at those times when can they get them?

Even when what they want is unaffordable or impractical? I wanted a pony as most of my friends had them ( apparently)

,I. Lived in a bungalow with a smallish garden and there certainly wasn't ant money for stabling etc ok

Yeah the OP. could've got him either the shirt OR the headphones he wanted which is a good idea going forward. Hopefully he won't complain then that he only got one thing and his mates got loads

ok based on what the Op said he would have preferred 1 big pressie totalling the approx £100 which would have bought him the headset he wanted rather than a cheaper headset and a cheaper kit that he got. He wasn’t asking him mum to spend more than that it would seem. He knew she couldn’t afford the switch so didn’t ask.

Op had told him the Switch2 wasn't happening. Which is completely fair enough.
That is good parenting and managing the expectations. Being fair not many kids will have the new Switch2 yet.

She hadn't told him he wasn't getting this years football top or the headphones he really wanted.
That's the issue.

She also daid he didn't specify what football shirt.

Probably because he would assume she would know that last seasons kit wouldn’t be it! She should have checked rather than just buying the cheapest.

He maybe didn't think last years 3rd top was still on sale.

If my 9yo asks me for a top I'm going to assume its the first strip hes after.

The issue is not what he would have preferred or that he was disappointed - it is about him being rude and ungrateful to his mother when he is old enough to know better. He needs to learn that this is not acceptable and hopefully OP has explained this to him clearly - what she must not do is apologise!

No one said she should apologise and no one knows how he actually said it

most people are just saying they should have an open conversation

people talk about him growing into a mysogynist - well letting him express his feelings and then take responsibility for them is a great way to try and stop that

I doubt that the OP will be back.

I see it from both sides really. It's sad if his friends have got something he wants and he can't have it.

But then if he asked for the gifts you got him then he's ungrateful to now say he didn't want them.

I do think it was silly to spend 42 quid out of his birthday budget on a top he didn't want and that it sounds like he gave you suggestions of things he didn't really want because he knew you couldn't afford the switch.

Is there any chance he'll get the switch 2 for Xmas? If you celebrate it that is

Do you blame her?
Her little boy while maybe didn't react brilliantly has been called all sorts of names by keyboard warriers who are 100x worse than the wee boy they've called names.

Some people seem to forget basic manners, if you can't say anything nice then keep your mouth shut.

I don’t blame her in the slightest and in my previous posts I’ve been very critical of the posters who queued up to call a ten-year-old names.

If you read the Ops posts I don't think the Switch2 is an option for Christmas either.
Its still about £400 plus games. Its out less than a year so even 2nd hand its still pricy.

But I do agree the top was a mistake she would have been better cutting some of the extras and got him this seasons top at full price probably about £65

I did read the replies and she doesn't mention christmas.

If she hadn't bought him the birthday stuff and put it towards xmas he could be in with a chance of having what he wanted

She doesn't mention Christmas but she does say the £110 was a lot for her, she'd put money aside for weeks and she'd had no help from Dad.

I really don't think she has a lot of spare cash to be spending on a Switch2 in the next couple of months.

I would actually say stop acting like a spoiled brat!
Done this with my kids before and really makes them think

And what if that's wrong?

Any other time of the year like many kids. My kids had treats throughout the year if did well at school, behaved particularly well etc etc. They were never "bribed" to be well behaved or work hard at school but were rewarded when they did, trips out, holiday treats, days out, theatre trips, sleepovers, small lego kits, when funds allowed etc. So birthdays/Christmas were special but not ott. I think you do what you can with what you have.

If he wanted a particular one he should've specified. My DS wanted a away kit rather than a home one once. So if he hadn't said how are gift givers to know. The shirt can be returned surely

He was 9. I don’t think he would have thought beyond the realms of home kit current season

I just can't imagine talking to my parents like that at just turned 10. But he was quite old enough to make it clear which shirt he wanted.

I doubt last years 3rd strip was even on his radar. Hes 10! I'd certainly have checked before going for a 3rd strip.

But I also see where Ops coming from she was hoping it would tick the box and let the budget go a bit further, as it was obviously discounted.

Well given the price of these things I'd clarify with my kid, "is this the one you want?" "Are you absolutely sure?"

Last year he wanted a strip it was about £110 by the time i added top, shorts & socks, there was no way I wanted to get it wrong.
OK it lacks surprise element but hey ho.

Indicative of today's youth and a slamming indictment of the state of the Western world.