Holiday with teens. Feel so alone.

[ItsNotLoveActually]

Am on holiday with two teens, one being my DS. I might as well be on my own. They don't get up til way gone midday, own room. DS's g/f acts like she resents I'm there at all. It's impossible to organise any trips due to their lateness/ignoring me. G/f sent my drink flying over me, my sunbed and dry clothes, didn't apologise and didn't even attempt to help clean it up. Nor did DS. I eventually got up and came back to my room, to cry.
I feel stupid for thinking this holiday was a good idea. I want to just say to them I'm done, do what you want and I'll do what I want but that seems childish. Argh, any ideas how to handle this?

They sound awful. How old are they? where are you and for how long? Who paid?

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time on what should be a relaxing break. I hope you are somewhere nice.

What age is your son and his girlfriend ?

Are you able to get about and sight see without them tagging along ? or did you want the company.

I love going on holiday with my son, but I usually don't plan anything till after lunch as it is his holiday too and he likes to enjoy a long lie.

My husband likes a siesta lol, so we get up and go out, then back for his siesta, and then my son and I go out sight seeing. I've usually smashed my steps target by early afternoon with all the walking I do with both of them.

Could you maybe get breakfast, then relax by the pool with a book and then go out with your son and his girlfriend ?

I think you should just book any trips you want to do for yourself and go do them without them. It gives them couple time & you time to do want. You could arrange to meet them for dinner later. I think the mistake was facilitating your son's girlfriend going. It made you a 3rd wheel on your own holiday.

If you allow them to treat you as a doormat, they will wipe their feet on you. You choose that.

FFS, stop crying, get out there and let them have the rough side of your tongue. They pull their heads in, they respect you and they mind their fucking manners.

I repeat what I have said on Mumsnet and number of times before. Gentle parenting gets you so far. Sometimes, they need a slap in the face with a wet fish.

People talk about kids these days but some mums take my breath away. Get in there, take no shit and parent them.

That's terrible. You will know not to repeat next year. Could you find an activity to do with nicer people?

I think you do need to do your own things separately. But not to be 'childish' just to be pragmatic. You don't want to do the same stuff. Sort yourself out and leave them to lounge about.
Then, once you've got a plan for the rest of the holiday which you'll enjoy, then arrange a couple of meals together and insist on a bit more respect.

I wouldn’t have let the GF come in this situation, to be honest. If they’re 18/19 they can go on holiday without you. You would have been better off taking a friend.

If the GF is a bit of a madam then there’s no point having a word with DS as he will tell her later and they probably won’t transform their behaviour. I’d do my own thing including dinner if necessary and never take them away again.

They are ? yo?
Why didn't yo set boundries from start?

Why on earth are you crying? Tell your DS and/or girlfriend not to be so careless, ask them what their plans are and tell them your plans. Book the trips you want to go on, relax by the pool etc, arrange to meet them for lunch/dinner. Don’t be giving them money for spending, if they want you to fund them they can behave nicely and keep you company. In short, you’re an adult, they’re clearly old enough to fend for themselves, so let them do that and you have the holiday you want.

I think your expectations are unrealistic I would expect to do my own thing in the day meet for tea then have a few night on me own and a few with them but leaving them to themselves for the last hour
perhaps the odd trip with them give them space
your a third wheel
you can still have a great time do you own thing it’s liberating and it will take the pee off so you will all enjoy yourselves

I'm sorry they are being so selfish and entitled. But basically you need to ditch them now and pretend you are on holiday by yourself. Book trips, get out and about, eat by yourself (honestly it's fine I promise!) Don't rely on them to make the holiday good, do what you want by yourself.

Why didn’t you say anything over the drink incident? That’s appalling behaviour

I would go off and leave them to it. That's not childish. I would also have a lovely meal, shop and sightsee, and spend all the budget on it.
I would bring up the spilt drink in a calm but steely way.
I would not take either of them for another holiday but then I am very happy doing solo trips

Oh, and I would not give either of them any money and as I said, spend all the budget on my own lovely trips.

My friend. Go off and do your own thing and leave them to it. If DS has his girlfriend. I assume they are both old enough to manage by themselves.

You go enjoy yourself.

Op you need to sit down with both kids and give them a polite but poignant rocket up arse' talk.
Shocking manners. I know teenagers can be awful but 'don't be a dick' generally applies.xx
Get urself a good book and take urself out for dinner and do not take these brats with u next time xx

Also never cry before teens. The more you ignore them and show them you can have a good time without them, the more they want to spend time with you.

Why don't you stand up for yourself?

Are you paying for this holiday?

I would give them hell.

Tell them that you are not going to put up with this rude behaviour.

Holidays with teenagers are often difficult - but I would provide nothing for this couple of bad-mannered young people - let them buy and cook their own food and you go out and enjoy yourself.

It'll be a good idea when your DS is grown up, but I wouldn't have booked myself to be the third wheel with a pair of teenagers. Yes, they are rude but it's also just always going to be quite a strange dynamic.

I would definitely leave them to it but I do feel a lot of sympathy - it's not nice to be all by yourself when you'd banked on doing things together.

Next time take a friend. You are outnumbered and a gooseberry, it was never going to work. Let them do their own thing and meet up with them for dinner.

your a third wheel

A third wheel on the holiday she has paid for?

I agree with pp, go off and do your own thing.
If they're not up, send a brief and breezy text to say where you're going and what time you expect to be back and leave them to it. And don't give them any spending money.

Leave them to it and do your own thing. I realise this is not what you planned but you need to salvage something from this holiday for yourself. They sound rude and entitled.

The brief and breezy text is very important.
I am off to swim with the dolphins and have lunch at a Michelin star restaurant, them shop at XX boutique and then drinks at Sunset Bay.
Have a good time. I am afraid I haven't left you any money as you were asleep. Toodles!

Go off for the day yourself. No point in spoiling your holiday pandering to them.