Holiday with teens. Feel so alone.

[ItsNotLoveActually]

Am on holiday with two teens, one being my DS. I might as well be on my own. They don't get up til way gone midday, own room. DS's g/f acts like she resents I'm there at all. It's impossible to organise any trips due to their lateness/ignoring me. G/f sent my drink flying over me, my sunbed and dry clothes, didn't apologise and didn't even attempt to help clean it up. Nor did DS. I eventually got up and came back to my room, to cry.
I feel stupid for thinking this holiday was a good idea. I want to just say to them I'm done, do what you want and I'll do what I want but that seems childish. Argh, any ideas how to handle this?

This, with bells on.

I'm glad your DS apologised OP. Have a great time without Miss Rude, it's pointless trying to do anything with her now.
Hopefully, 🤞, DS will view DGF differently when he gets home and has time to reflect.
Wax lyrical about all the fab things you see and do.
Never bankroll anyrhing for this girl.

Yup, that’s really going to improve the dynamic

Yes don’t repeat the experience until your son has grown up. I hope you didn’t pay for the holiday.

If your DS is having to apologise to you about his gf’s behaviour, then the girlfriend’s not going to be there for much longer anyway! Go off and enjoy yourself on your own. I’d be getting steaming drunk, myself.

At 17 and 18 why are they on holiday in the middle of term? Are they not in college?

OP, glad you've decided to get on and do your own thing - sounds like the way to go. How about planning to meet up for part of each day - dinner, evening drinks, brunch/lunch (breakfast for them) etc? Then you've got an actual plan to spend some time together, they get time alone, plus you get to plan your own things separately from them.

If you want ideas for what to do and/or would rather not be alone, you can have a look and see if there are any AirBnB Experiences in your area: www.airbnb.com/experiences

What did you think was going to happen when you took your son and his girlfriend away? Genuinely?

My last holiday with my then 18/16 yr old children to a place they had been desperate to visit for years was so bad, we all agreed we were never going away again as a family.

Solo travel from that point forward has been amazing fun. Embrace the freedom it gives you.

I paid. I didn't expect to spend all day together, just meet up for the odd meal or drinks in the evening, maybe an excursion. They have their own room also. If I'd wanted a solo holiday, I would have booked one. They don't surface til 2pm, leaving it impossible to make any plans but I've been foolish to hope.
At home, she doesn't like him seeing his friends, demands all his time and sulks, a lot. Hoping this holiday will open his eyes.

I’m glad DS has apologised, but honestly what did you think a holiday with a 17/18 year old couple was going to be like? Obviously they will be sleeping in and wanting to spend most of their time together.

wait a few years and your ds will be better company

It was very generous to pay for his girlfriend. I certainly wouldn’t do that again or invite her if she was paying. She was joining the both of you on holiday so should have been respectful and prepared to spend some of the time with you especially given you aren’t with a partner/ friend. He shouldn’t really feel in a difficult place when there’s blatant bad manners or disrespect. She should have apologised and helped to clean up the spill. I would take the advice of others and try and enjoy your holiday without them.

I am glad your son has apologised.

I think the three's company saying applies here. I think you were being kind letting him take his girlfriend and incredibly generous in paying for her. She does seem to have taken advantage of the situation but maybe she didn't really think about how it would affect you and maybe thought she was going for company for your son and you would be happy doing your own thing.

I think in hindsight if you wanted the company of someone then keeping it to you and your son would have been better, and maybe talked together about the kind of holiday that would work (maybe a city break and sightseeing trip rather than a beach type holiday which it sounds like you are on).

What are the like at home? Surely you had an idea they were lazy and stayed in bed all day before booking it. Sorry you're having a miserable time though.

Lesson learnt but we all need to think hard before treating people to holidays, look at how they behave normally and go from there.

Just write it off. Do your own thing and leave them to it.

If you didn’t expect to spend all
day with them why is their sleeping to 2pm
an issue?

Still a teen and on holiday with a girlfriend? He's too young for that; don't pay for it again. If you're old enough to holiday with a partner, you're old enough to pay for it (and you probably don't want your mum around).

Maybe it's time to accept that it's time for separate holidays. Perhaps when the kids are a bit older they'll want a more adult holiday and it'll be fun again. But for now, have the holiday you enjoy and let them fend for themselves back home.

Do things yourself and ignore them, you are likely not the only single mum there, look around to see if there is anyone else to buddy up with.

I must admit I was fortunate that I have DD’s and when I split up from their dad I went with just dd2 aged 18 which worked out well, but an extra non relative would be awkward

You went on holiday with a couple. You say that you knew people would do their own thing but you aren't. Do your own thing. Book a trip, day where you want and at what time you want

This was never going to work but I would be exploring nog hanging around waiting on them

It's good that your DS has apologised. At least he is fully aware that her behaviour was awful. She sounds generally jealous and controlling. I hope this holiday has been an eye opener for him.

It obviously isn't working in this particular case. However my teenagers and I'm sure those of many others on here would never have behaved like that. They would have been grateful to be paid for and we certainly would have done things together. DS sounds as though he realises but cant stand up to extremely rude, ungrateful little madam.
Lets hope their relationship doesnt last.

I agree with pp, get on and do things you want to. But, perhaps near the end of the holiday, or if she does something else that’s really unpleasant (like the drink), call her out, very calmly. “Joan, you’ve been really unpleasant this whole holiday. I’ve invited you and paid for you to come away with us and you haven’t even shown basic manners. Don’t expect this to happen again, or to be welcome in my home when we get home, unless you show a real change of attitude. Sorry Brian, but you will have to see Joan at her house going forward.”
maybe warn your son that you are going to say this.

They sound like most teens, immature and selfish. It’s good your ds apologised and you have been honest about how you feel. Sounds like his girlfriend is hard work and you may have to accept the holiday as a lesson learnt. No point in forcing them to spend time with you now you won’t enjoy it if you know they don’t actually want to. Do your own thing and when you get home maybe have a heart to heart with your son about his girlfriend’s behaviour.

Tbh I don't think it's a great idea to go on holiday with a couple particularly loved up 18yr olds, of course they'll stay in bed until 2pm.

You should have taken a friend or a relative. Just go on day trips, try to find another tourist to pal up with.

They are teens, and on top of that a couple - they didn’t want a holiday with you, they wanted a free holiday.

True. But if my teen had been given a free holiday by her boyfriend's mum, she would have been super polite and grateful, even if she had slept in. Profuse with thanks. Not too much to expect.