Holiday with teens. Feel so alone.

[ItsNotLoveActually]

Am on holiday with two teens, one being my DS. I might as well be on my own. They don't get up til way gone midday, own room. DS's g/f acts like she resents I'm there at all. It's impossible to organise any trips due to their lateness/ignoring me. G/f sent my drink flying over me, my sunbed and dry clothes, didn't apologise and didn't even attempt to help clean it up. Nor did DS. I eventually got up and came back to my room, to cry.
I feel stupid for thinking this holiday was a good idea. I want to just say to them I'm done, do what you want and I'll do what I want but that seems childish. Argh, any ideas how to handle this?

Next time just take him. Plan your own trips and enjoy it op, leave them to it but organise dinner with them. Definitely talk to him about healthy relationships.

I think you should tell them to do what they want and you do what you want. Don't let them spoil your holiday. Get out there and enjoy yourself. I actually wouldn't even tell them anything, just get on your way and pretend they're not there.

all I expected was a little bit of company

I think this is where the problem lies. It is good that you have abandoned that idea and now plan to be out and about enjoying yourself. Go girl!

And well done to your son for apologising for their rudeness... a decent young man hiding beneath the madness of young love!!

She sounds like an awful girlfriend. I hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday.
Sometimes holiday friends can rescue an dire situation.
Book some trips, download some books and games and relax.

That’s very sad. I have taken two of DS girlfriends on holidays in the past (separately!) and it was fine.

They had their own room, did their own thing some of the time but we met up regularly for meals and some activities.

Your expectations weren’t unreasonable except that you mentioned she’s very possessive of him in general.

As you said, maybe this will open his eyes to her behaviour.

I think you should act as though you are on holiday alone, get up and go out and see what happens. Think of it as a little adventure!

I think expecting company from a teenage couple was the mistake here.
Just go and enjoy yourself.

@ItsNotLoveActually glad your son apologised but his GF sounds awful. She sounds needy and suffocating.

How dare she spill your drink then not even apologise or help clear it up.

I would organise yourself some amazing day trips and leave the two of them to fend for themselves for the rest of the week. Perhaps meet some other solo travellers or those who have also been abandoned by their teens!

Exactly. All my DC would be very grateful and would therefore do their best to be polite. She sounds like a very unpleasant person, not a typical teenager.

leave them to it. Book some day trips, go to old town or whatever is nearby, get a lovely book for poolside, smile at any friendly looking grown ups, join in with any activities, book a sports session or massage or hair do or nails… just indulge yourself and ignore the lovebirds!

Edited to add: where are you? Maybe some of us might know it and make some suggestions?

My teenagers did go on holiday with gf and bfs and their host always said what good company they were. We found the same when we reciprocated.I think the acceptance on here that this is typical teenage behaviour is wrong. People whose children would behave like this girl is doing maybe should wonder about their parenting skills.

She sounds awful. I hope he dumps her when they get home. Do your own thing OP and don’t do this sort of holiday again.

Accept this isn't the holiday you thought it would be. You are on your own. So enjoy it as such. Don't expect or request their company. If its not freely given its worthless anyway.
Don't tolerate rudeness from either of them. Call it out on the spot.
Don't ever repeat this experience unless you know your sons holiday companion really well and have spent enough time as a three to be sure the dynamic and the guests personality works for you.

I'd tell them nothing. She should just go and do her own thing, let them wonder where she is after a bit (when they need money or a meal I expect). If they dared to question where she'd been, that would be when they got the hairdryer about their selfishness, laziness and downright rudeness.

You paid for her holiday and she's treating you like this?

Wow, I hope this trip opens your son's eyes about her.

She sounds like hard work. When you get home I’d have a word with him and point out that this isn’t normal in a healthy relationship.
My mum had a word with me after my boyfriend came with us on a family holiday and it was the push I needed to end things, I’d been having doubts anyway but sometimes a final push is needed especially when it’s a younger less experienced person!

You cried over them spilling a drink? I think they sense weakness in you OP. Demand some better behaviour and some respect.

Then go off, enjoy yourself. Leave them to it - and don't leave them lots of money for their own day or anything like that. If they want to behave like shitty teenagers, then treat them accordingly.

Without wanting to upset you, they must both be a bit embarrassed to be on holiday with his Mum. I would let them do their own thing, find some nice touristy things to do locally or find a bookshop - and suggest having evening meals together.

But do call them out on shitty behaviour - that's not on at all.

This 100pc.
In these circumstances, you are surplus to their requirements. Doesn't mean they love you any less. They are teenagers.
Go and explore the local culture and enjoy some experiences on your own.
Chill and let them be

If his girlfriend is there then I assume they are young adults and not children, yes they are annoyed you are there but you have paid so they have a weird duty to stick with you after they get out of their pits ! I suggest you just go and do your own thing, and ignore them i probably would just message your son to say you are going out to x y z, the drink incident i don't know why you are running away to cry, but i think it was probably the last straw. I am sorry they are spoiling your holiday

So do that then - go out for the day, meet them for dinner.

Who cares what time they surface? Make daytime plans for yourself.

Yeah sorry, girlfriend is a PITA but you could have predicted this I am afraid. My advice is enjoy the place you’re in on your own, maybe arrange to meet your son for drinks/ dinner each day but otherwise leave them to it. And don’t try this again, sorry but the reality is that you’d be happier enjoying your own company or finding a group activity. I know it’s a personal thing but I absolutely love a few days on my own- reading, having too many coffees, sunbathing, maybe a concert. Have you ever tried this?

You were always going to be piggy-in-the-middle with that set up. Young couple 17-18, of course will want to be alone together most of the time. But you're there now, so make the best of it by booking trips/excursions that you want to, please yourself and leave them to it. No drama or throwing a strop, just separate yourself. I hope you are not paying for everything for them as well as paying for the holiday? They sound ungrateful and entitled, especially the GF, chalk it up to experience but vow not to make the same mistake again.

They are basically adults. They are not there to provide you companionship so you don’t feel lonely. Go off and enjoy your holiday! Have you never been away on your own before? It’s wonderful. You can go and do things. Eat what you want. Relax when you want. Stop being so dependent on them. Yes, they should be appreciative of the holiday. Yes, gf should absolutely apologise for spilling your drink. But I suspect you are driving them nuts and making this all pretty miserable for them. Let them enjoy their holiday. Plan to meet once a day for a meal to catch up. Then get on with your lovely holiday.

Im sorry that sounds not very nice for you.
I think the key here is discussing expectations before booking a holiday with teens/young adult.
I do go on family holidays with older teens and young adult kids and we always have a full and frank discussion about what each of us want from the holiday .
as for the rude gf,that's a different matter and not acceptable.
What did your DS say about his GFs behaviour,was it a one off or more of a pattern?
I think id sit down with your son and explain how you are feeling and that you dont want to spoil his enjoyment of the holiday or your own and ask him directly what he wants. If he says i want to not see you and just be alone with my GFand this not be a family holiday ,at least you know and can plan accordingly for the rest of the holiday and for future holidays. if he says its his GF expectations ,he has a decsicion to make. Id tell him you want him to enjoy the holiday and enjoy it yourself if that means doing your own thing you will.
Good luck

Do your own thing, let them stay in bed half the day ( normal for teens) but do not be taken for a mug. Stand up for yourself if the GF is rude, be a good role model for your son and show him how to be assertive and not take shit from anyone.