Holiday with teens. Feel so alone.

[ItsNotLoveActually]

Am on holiday with two teens, one being my DS. I might as well be on my own. They don't get up til way gone midday, own room. DS's g/f acts like she resents I'm there at all. It's impossible to organise any trips due to their lateness/ignoring me. G/f sent my drink flying over me, my sunbed and dry clothes, didn't apologise and didn't even attempt to help clean it up. Nor did DS. I eventually got up and came back to my room, to cry.
I feel stupid for thinking this holiday was a good idea. I want to just say to them I'm done, do what you want and I'll do what I want but that seems childish. Argh, any ideas how to handle this?

More context is needed here.

How old are they and who paid? Did you treat them or did you invite yourself as a third wheel on their holiday? Have they had any time alone or are you with them everyday and wanting to organise the whole schedule?

Spilling drinks and not apologising is unforgivably rude and you really should have said something at the time.

There is a vast difference between you treating 16 year olds to a holiday or joining a 19 year old couple who have paid for their own holiday and would like to do their own thing now and then.

I think it’s young for 16yr old couples to be that serious and holiday together. This is proving they are not mature. I wouldn’t want to holiday with a loved up couple, especially not young teens.

Have you paid for them both?

I’d definitely get up early and do something amazing like a sunrise hike, or boat trip.

If another incident happens, say something. Show them your boundaries and then move on. Don’t let it linger but let it out.

Teens need boundaries just like the rest of us and they need to know when they are acting like dicks. Very important life skill!

How did it come about that you are all on holiday together?

Presuming they're not 13 and can be left unsupervised, leave them to it and go off and do your own thing. Book some excursions, rent a car, get the bus to the nearest town for some retail therapy.
I guess you've paid for the holiday for all three of you, so next year you'll have all that money to splash out somewhere lovely for just yourself.

C,mon they are 2 teens with their own room, they are not reading bedtimes stories to each other, they are prob knackered and then you come along trying to organise activities which they have zero interest 😂. Leave them be, dont tolerate rudeness but go off do what you want and tell them you will see them later. A bit of space may calm the situation, ask them if they want to meet up for dinner, if not leave them to it as long as you know where they are daily. I think you expected them to want to do excursions but they are loved up, as someone said you are the 3rd wheel. I think youve been a bit naive to think 2 teens sharing 1 room would be thinking of anything else.

Cut your losses, do your own thing and enjoy the rest of your holiday. I went on my first solo holiday this year as the previous holiday with my teen & young adult was pretty much the experience you’re having now. I refuse to pay to me made invisible and and unhappy. Had a fabulous time on my own in Spain - planning another solo holiday for 2027!

It's a bit of an unusual dynamic. Usually you would just go on holiday with your own child for family time, or the two loved up teens would be going on a romantic break themselves (if they are 18/19).

If they are younger, then the g/f certainly didn't need to be there, but it would also explain why they might resent your presence a bit - teenagers that age think every adult is just a burden intruding in their lives. Rude, but not unusual. Enthusiastically planning things you can all do early in the morning would just annoy them - I speak from experience!

Like others have said, plan your own fun activities and enjoy yourself. Surely, you get to have some time to yourself now your son is older.

Strange that you are on holiday with them at all.

I guess they are adults so I would just leave them to it. go out and do your own thing. wouldn't bring them again in the future

If they are younger teeens, below adult age I would actually lay into them a bit and say they are being disrespectful and they need to buck their ideas up and stop being selfish, it’s your holiday too. You’ve paid for it and deserve to have a good time. Either they play ball or we all go home.
if they are older teens. 18 plus, I might still say similar things but try and have a conversation more than a telling off.
I wouldn’t leave it.
i would also say, they want to act like adults and be left alone but that’s not how adults act, an actual adult would be aware that there were three people on holiday and make an effort to ensure everyone is having a nice time. I’ve used that line on my 13 year old before. When their actions of trying to be independent and grown up were in fact spoilt, selfish and childish and therefore not the adult like actions they thought they were.
dont let them get away with it, if tou went away with another couple, say a friend, would you say something if they were ruining the whole holiday?

They do sound very entitled and unpleasant to be around. But the reality is, you've booked a holiday with another couple. Third wheeling was pretty much built in.

I would just leave them to it and head off to do things I was interested in on my own. But don't fund anything that isn't already paid for except what you had already promised to cover.

That sounds awful like others have said just do your own thing and enjoy it!

Plan the activities you want to do and tell them that they are welcome to come, but you are leaving at x time and they will be left behind if not ready. If you need to pay for tickets, etc. in advance don't pay for theirs if you can't trust them to show up (and behave civilly). If their behaviour is upsetting you so much that you're off on your own crying, you know that isn't right. Tell them it's unacceptable. If you're not comfortable telling the gf, tell your son privately ASAP and make him responsible for making sure she maintains a basic level of politeness toward you going forward. Set expectations for what's going to happen for the rest of the holiday. Even if they are 13, this is perfectly possible.

Don't invite them again - while I can understand having your child bring a friend if he's the only young person in a group of adults or if you were going with your partner and expected to spend a lot of time as a couple, there's no need for your son to bring a friend when it's just the two of you. If they're adults, or you expected them to act like adults and share responsibility for making it a good holiday, you know now that they are not mature enough for that.

Given you have left out the ages and how this holiday came about, it's hard to advise beyond what you shared in your OP.

First off, why on earth are you crying? I would actually ignore them from now on and make the most of my surroundings. Do not let them rely on you for a single thing more. Make a plan and suit yourself. No more tears or feeling sorry for yourself, and resolve to not repeat the situation. They both sound selfish and ungrateful @ItsNotLoveActually

It’s time for your inner Shirley Valentine to shine! Enjoy the rest of your holiday. Give them the opportunity to join you but if they say no, be secretly pleased and have a much better time without them. Keep us updated with the lovely things you end up doing!

I think you're expecting something a bit unreasonable from them really - you want teens to behave as if they're your holiday companions.

How old are they?

If they sleep in, can't you go out for breakfast and a walk on your own?

(The drink incident is separate, that sounds very odd, I wonder if the mood is all very tense? Obviously someone who spills something should help to clean it up.)

They are actually 17 and 18. My DS came to see me and was v apologetic, he knew - without me saying anything. I did however explain how I felt. They've had loads of alone time together and all I expected was a little bit of company but seems like she resents that. DS is now stuck between pleasing us both and I don't want that. I'm going to plan my own days, let them get on with their own thing. Oh and I will never repeat this again, lesson learnt.

Send her packing! Surely he isn't going to keep the relationship if he doesnt like her behaviour.

She may be uncomfortable with you needing company. That's not an appropriate ask. As an adult you should not be perturbed by teens wanting to sleep in.

It's not their fault you don't have a partner or friend with you.

Spending time with people you've gone on holiday with is hardly an unreasonable expectation. Especially if the OP is paying which I bet she is for her son at least. But it doesn't sound as if it will be an issue for future holidays with this girl anyway...

Did you pay for the holiday OP?

In any case, it isn't a wild reach to think the gf is manipulative and not very pleasant.

I would tell him that he doesn't need to think about keeping me happy and leave them to it, vowing to not repeat, and not invite her to anything again.

They are just sleeping in in the morning etc. This is completely normal teen behaviour.

It's not fair for an adult parent to require their child to be their companion.

If the OP was not happy to be alone, she needed to ask a friend to join them.

So sorry you've been treated so disrespectfully. I think you're right to just go your own way to salvage what you can from the rest of the trip.

The girls my son dated (and the one he married) always seemed to really want me, his mother, to like them. So this girl acting jealous and rude sounds way off to me. Hopefully, she won't be around for long!

Oh well lesson learnt indeed.
This is why I like solo holidays. I am not paying for people to sleep, and certainly not for their girlfriends.