What is the appropriate response to your toddler having a full blown tantrum in a shop or other public place? I always stay and continue my shopping, albeit at speed but the looks I get from other shoppers tell me that maybe IABU and I’m supposed to abandon my trolley / basket and take said child immediately out of the store. I asked a friend and she also said she would leave straight away.
The reason I don’t do that is because a) my toddler has tantrums daily at random and I’d never get anything done if I just stopped it every time they started; b) I’m usually in the shop because we really need something, that need doesn’t go away so I’d have to return to the shop later anyway; and c) taking the child out of the shop does not magically end the tantrum and therefore help the child emotionally, they will continue until they are done whether I’m in a shop or not, so I don’t feel I’m “harming” the child by continuing what we are doing (btw I will do the whole script of I can see you’re upset, you wanted XYZ and you couldn’t have it, it’s ok to be upset etc., suggest “blowing bubbles” or blowing out candles to model deep breaths and also periodically offer cuddles while continuing getting what we need though I can’t say it really helps and sometimes seems to make it worse even).
For context an example of this was at the weekend, I told my older child we could go buy snacks for a movie night. Toddler saw a huge car thing in the shop they wanted, I said no. Tantrum immediately ensued. They are quite loud and once the tantrum starts literally anything I say to them will make the screaming more intense. I carried on getting the snacks because leaving at that point would have meant disappointment for the older child and them potentially thinking the toddler was to blame. I really don’t want them to resent each other. But I got so many people looking at me in horror as if I was being abusive and it made me think maybe I’m doing the wrong thing?
Just curious what others perspectives are on this?