Would you take a neighbour's child to school every day?

[MintyElephant]

A neighbour, who I don’t talk too, other than the odd hello if we see each other, asked me if I could take her child to and from school every day as she’s struggling too because of her work - her child goes to same school as mine. She’s effectively asking a stranger to chaffeur her child around, what is everyone’s thoughts on this? Yes I’m going there anyway, I can’t do everyday as I don’t do everyday anyway. What would you say if someone you didn’t actually know ask you this? Would you do it?

Or maybe she doesn't fancy paying for breakfast club when OP can do it for free.

So how is he going to get to the extra curriculum activities if his parents aren’t home?

They really haven’t thought this through.

Not your problem to solve, though.

I actually have no idea!! Maybe they get back just in time for him to go? Has to be back by 4 to change and eat then go? I mean I’m thinking they should just change the times of those, by the sounds of it as well he’s busy every day after school… when does he get to rest lol

A relative asked me this and I did it for her for a while. However, she also offered to pay and gave me £20 a week because I had to add an extra ten minutes to my journey.

In your position, I would not do it

I would say yes but make it clear there will be times when you can’t like you have an appointment/sickness etc

A lady up the road from me would take my and my neighbour to school we often had to push her car 😁 I remember how kind she was over 40 years later

Interesting....why do you think there is no community? I agree btw

Yes you can’t chat to your kids on a personal level with someone else in the car.
You can probably talk about the weather etc. There are quite a few people on this thread who have mentioned the special talks with their kids on the way to school.

I would say no- it’s a full sentence and I too love the journeys too and from school every day with just my child. We sing we dance we talk. After school i ask her about her day she asks about mine and for me i don’t want another child in that space. I personally chose to work less hours so I could be at both drop off and pick up.

i can only compare it to having a friend at work who lived on the way to my child’s childminder so I got into an agreement with picking her up each day- she knew I’d be there by x time every day I was on time every single day she still was never ready to come out the door and made me wait often 15 minutes for her to come out. I in the end had to say I could not do it anymore because all she did was make me wait and then talk about our colleagues, ask to borrow money that I would never get back and now we don’t talk we are no longer friends and that’s it so my whole point is you’d end up
probably feeling stressed and uncomfortable and then in turn fracturing the neighbourhood feels between you so for me I won’t even begin

I would do it if I went there anyway. I would do it even if it was out of my way a bit. I like helping people.
I can’t believe the stuff I’m reading here - no wonder the world is so messed up.

A hard no I'm afraid based on getting involved with much more reciprocal lift sharing than that. Just don't do it - you'll end up massively resenting her and you'll fall out. Best to just be unavailable from the get go. Sad to say it as I like to help people out but my experience is that they just come to take you for granted and don't perceive it as being helped out but just as "how things are". And to anyone who says to do it, all I can say is that you've never had to hang around for other people's kids for half an hour whilst they get their stuff together and mess you about, you've also never sat waiting on outside the door whilst they organise themselves to be ready to leave in the morning.

Also, that time with your own child is precious - don't underestimate how much you will resent having to jolly along another child whilst your own child resents the intrusion.

Something to consider - what happens if your child is ill? Do you still drag your own child on the school run because you have committed to another family?

Do not do this !
It will never end ,
Say you can help out every now and then but not everyday - you don't know her, just make something up.

Don't. You will be a hostage. Just don't.

Right, but a generation back most neighbours knew each other and were able to help each other out. Not having anything to do with the people you live beside is a relatively new phenomenon.

Honestly! I offered to do this thinking it was no big deal and it's turned into a bit of a nightmare . The world is not messed up , employers need to give more work/life balance for parents .

Maybe the family should have thought about how they would get their children to school (and home) before moving to the street. .

Well you are in the wrong because my children were at school a generation back. I have helped many people out on the odd occasion but I have had some really bad experiences, one with someone just down the street, who wanted me to give their child a lift to an after school activity ever week. The child was never ready and then the child was really nasty to mine in the car. After this I got wise. Someone, who I didn’t know, phoned me up to ask if I would give her child a lift to an after school activity every week. She had asked the organiser for all the parents numbers. She didn’t even live near me. I had great pleasure in telling her that I was already in a rota with 2 other Mums and only did pick up and drop off 1 week in 3 and as I had another child, I had a car full on my turn.

It's definitely a lot to agree to this full time, but if you want to decline but still be polite perhaps offer that if she is stuck occasionally, she can message you and, if you are able, you will take him. I think that's more than fair!

If you accept money you will be her ' employee ' and what happened if there are days you can not do it ... It's a bad idea to commit to everyday

A while ago a lady stopped me at the doorway to her home and asked if I could pick her daughter up and take her to/from school. She lived about 100 yards away from the school. I declined as I’d never spoken to her prior to this. I don’t like being responsible for other people’s children and God forbid anything happens it’ll be on your shoulders.

What are neighbours after all? They are just random people who happen to live near you. They are not friends you have chosen. I would hesitate to get into any kind of relationship with any of them because it usually leads to taking the piss. The only exception would be one based on business where you have a signed contract between you.

I’d always say yes to something like this. I’m a real believer that you get back what you give in life. That said, I’d be pretty clear about leaving times and wouldn’t have any tolerance for being delayed. If it wasn’t going to inconvenience me at all then I wouldn’t see why not.

Obviously, I can’t come to you for one as yours is conspicuously absent. Nothing in there but misplaced bile.

Ok there is lots of things sat here now i could say sure why you are a big meanie if you don't do something twice a day for someone else with nothing in return

If you have actually done this yourself for an endless period of time and not just said you would I would listen

I was responding to the original post which asked the question. I’m not asking you to listen.

Finding it wild how many “it takes a village comments there are”. This woman happens to be a neighbour but she is a stranger!! Get work takes priority over her child. She’s happy to let her son be driven by a STRANGER. You could be a complete knobhead or a dangerous driver she doesn’t know. It’s just madness and insanely cheeky. She can pay for a childminder to take and return her child. Did she invite you over for coffee and cake to get to know you first? To try and make a friend without a hidden agenda. Guessing not. Some people are always on the take. Hold firm, it’s no.