Would you take a neighbour's child to school every day?

[MintyElephant]

A neighbour, who I don’t talk too, other than the odd hello if we see each other, asked me if I could take her child to and from school every day as she’s struggling too because of her work - her child goes to same school as mine. She’s effectively asking a stranger to chaffeur her child around, what is everyone’s thoughts on this? Yes I’m going there anyway, I can’t do everyday as I don’t do everyday anyway. What would you say if someone you didn’t actually know ask you this? Would you do it?

Cheeky of you to assume all of that based on the response you've replied to. Clearly you're one of those who feel entitled to expect help from anyone you ask instead of actually paying for your childcare needs

I would see this as an opportunity rather than a threat. You can always say no anytime in the future it doesn't work. By agreeing to a trial and then carrying on if it is working ok, you gain an ally in the neighbourhood who will doubtless help you in future. It's an obvious win.

I wouldn't. Another child in the morning, every morning, is a huge commitment. It changes the dynamic and for may children, that morning time before school with their parent is important. What happens when your own child is sick for example, do you get up anyway to take her child to school? If she's late or if you are running late, it affects her too. You don't know them and your children are not friends - the parents will need a long term consistent plan.

For a kid that you don't know and your kids don't know them I wouldnt be dropping them off and picking them up daily. You have your own work commitments too and I'm guessing you have to pay for childcare for your younger child, why can't she arrange breakfast clubs/after school clubs? how old is her child?

You will get to know him. And if you don't, you just back out.

Yes all thought of now and logistically it could be a nightmare, I definitely would not take her child if my child is sick. It absolutely does change the dynamics and I don’t wish to upset my own children for the sake of a stranger.

So I asked her about after school club but she said he couldn’t as he has to be home for extra curricula activities from 4, the parents won’t be home then, his older sister is home when he gets back or something, so has to go straight home from school. Breakfast club, not sure why she can’t consider that tbh.

Or the old "it takes a village" chestnut. Said village should consist of willing participants, not forced upon someone who barely knows you or your child.

Of course you should do it. You’re walking that way any way. It’s called being neighbourly. It’s good for your kid too. She should reciprocate though, either with payment or babysitting or whatever

Its not si much about whether you should do it but more about whether you want to help her out.
Set your own moral compass and stick to it!
Im sure shes asking because she is desperate for help. You could offer one term as a trial to see how it goes?

Having been through this scenario, although I knew my neighbour, I would say no. The child in question had moved schools to DD’s school. Some days she just refused to get up, meaning we were kept waiting for her invariably meaning if we weren’t late for school I was late for work. She was on her phone all the time refusing to engage in any conversation which was in my view just rude. I initially put it down to the change in schools but eventually discovered she had severe mental health issues. Whilst I had every sympathy with the child who was 12, had I been fully informed of her difficulties when being asked to help out I could have made an informed choice. My own DD was very upset by it all as she loved school, hated to be late and just couldn’t understand why the child would not engage.

Hang on!
No it wasnt
Op doesnt know this women other than as a random neighbour, not a friend , the child is not even the same age or in the childs class

No one actually reads the Op properly!
Why would you take a virtual strangers child 4 years older than yours to school ?
We all helped out friends and people still do this but not someone you dont know
The mother is being extremely cheeky

We drive, we don’t walk. Hmmm I don’t think I have to just to seem neighbourly, neighbours aren’t always your friends and that’s ok. We can’t be friends with everybody we meet as that’s not real life getting on with everybody. She’s my neighbour but she’s a stranger to me, as is her child so being her neighbour means nothing really. I am friends and talk regularly with a handful of other neighbours, we have just never had that relationship as I don’t think we would get on and have much to talk about.

I was going to say definitely not, but if he is ten and is in year 6 (if you’re in England), I would say yes as it’s limited to this year only so you know when it will end. The poor kid sounds like he needs someone to look out for him, and whilst it’s not your job, something in me would want to do that for him. Does it have to be all or nothing anyway? Can’t you do one or two days a week?

Also, she has never bothered to talk to me, other than hello passing by, not once started a conversation (granted I haven’t either) until asking me this favour! She could have Atleast got to know me first. How does she know I’m a safe person to have responsibility for her child? I mean I am but there are some odd balls around including parents.

If his older sister is a lot older like 16 or over can she not go and pick him up? If she's the only one home and the parents aren't there I can only guess that this sister looks after him. Maybe not totally ideal but whatever works. My 16 year old son used to take my 10year old to breakfast club whilst I work mornings and picked her up from after school club whilst I work afternoons(my weeks alternate between mornings and afternoons shifts and it's not every day). Now she walks herself to school and back as it's a five minute walk, she's in year 6 and she knows the route well and is allowed to walk home without a parent. My son is at home when she gets back when I'm at work and looks after my 10 and 12year until I get home from work.

I’m sorry but she’s taking the piss can more then if she could use wrap around in the afternoon but has chosen an activity at 4pm at the house. You just don’t book that sort of thing if you can’t make the logistics work. It’s unfair to book it and then expect random neighbours to facilitate it.

You adjusted your life and work to accommodate your child. She needs to do the same. This is an insane th8ing to ask of a virtual stranger.

She’s not that old, 13 I think? Different school and obviously can’t take her younger brother to school. It’s not walkable and she has to get to school

No I wouldn’t. I stupidly agreed to something similar when mine were little except it was after school. I don’t like saying no but also hate feeling committed to something. Our children weren’t really friends so I felt guilty for pushing this other child into mine. I also felt like I didn’t have the time with my child, again felt guilty at that. Then felt guilty when my child was ill by the parents when they had to leave work early to collect their own child! I had purposely reduced my hours to be able to be around my children after work. Then I was asked to feed said child too, that was the last straw I said it wasn’t convenient anymore.

Wouldn't he just get out of the car though and go to his class?

I would do it after a trial run to check all was ok. I don't see an issue with giving a lift to somewhere you're already going. Just caveat it with if your child is ill she will need to sort other arrangements.

Also if he's 10 does he only have this year left at school anyway?

well, we have to park a little walk away from the school as it’s the only parking and then cross a very busy main road, I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable letting him go out on his own, my responsibility to get him to school safely.

Such a strange attitude. Maybe the lift is the diffference between someone being able to wotk or claiming benefits. Or the difference between a parent being on the breadline or not. I get that you might not want to if the other parent couldn’t be arsed to take their kid to school and went back to bed..

I think he may be year 5, so would he 9, even if it was for a year that’s still a long time to commit