Would you take a neighbour's child to school every day?

[MintyElephant]

A neighbour, who I don’t talk too, other than the odd hello if we see each other, asked me if I could take her child to and from school every day as she’s struggling too because of her work - her child goes to same school as mine. She’s effectively asking a stranger to chaffeur her child around, what is everyone’s thoughts on this? Yes I’m going there anyway, I can’t do everyday as I don’t do everyday anyway. What would you say if someone you didn’t actually know ask you this? Would you do it?

Haha yes parenting does seem very different nowadays, dare I say, we actually parent our children , want to spend time with them and love them more? Wonder if I’ll regret saying that!

I would and did. We looked out for each other. Babysat each other’s kids. Took care of each other’s pets and plants when one was away. I sat with her dying father in the hospital occasionally so she could go home and get some rest. That’s just how it works with us.

I would just keep out your neighbour's way for the time being, and just continue as you are, by saying hello to each other and not bring the subject up.

In the meantime, as I suggested earlier, I would just have an unpredictable morning routine if you can, by leaving a lot earlier, and arriving home at various times in the late afternoon/early evening. If you can.

I’d do it to help her out as much as I could. If you do this most days, you WILL end up knowing each other. Everyone is a stranger until they’re not.

You have had lot of support on this thread OP. You have decided not to take this child to school with your child. I and many others have agreed with your decision.You are being a bit silly now though. You are talking about women not working ‘back in the day’. How far back? I myself am in my late sixties. I worked full time from the age of 16 to retirement apart from attending University (I only worked part time then) and six months maternity leave. There were no flexible working arrangements or WFH in those days. I was a single parent. My mother left school when she was 14 and worked full time with three children. She did retire at 60 as that was the retirement age for women in those days.

Ah, disparaging helpful people. The the selfish fuckers answer to everything.

Well I don’t know! They haven’t revealed their ages. I know some mums did work full time ‘back in the day’ but of course it’s pretty much evident mums work more in this generation of parents than say 30/40 years ago

If I knew them a bit better, even on cordial terms then I would. But you can’t expect your child to be comfortable with a complete stranger in the car & once you offer it’s harder to back out. Also, you might want some time with your kids before school, what if they are struggling in school etc.? I would probably offer one day per week and say that’s all I can commit to at the moment and be clear that if your child is ill you won’t be able to take them, if their child isn’t ready by X time, you will leave as you can’t be late & I’d also say that it’s not necessarily a permanent fixture as your situation or plans might change.

Yep. Me too.

Sorry for being silly

well its definitely bollocks

Could be 🤣

How can you possibly know if the child’s family will reciprocate or not? Simply, you can’t. If a neighbor helped me out in this way I would do my best to help them whenever needed, as I be so grateful. But according to Mumsnet, that just makes me a cheeky fucker. I’m okay with that.

You can’t talk to your kids with a 9 year old the car? Maybe you should see a doctor about that.

And yet, how true.

Haha wow, i think it’s more your own children may not feel comfortable with a child they don’t know in the car having their usual conversation with their parent not the other way around. My daughter is timid and shy and would most definitely feel awkward and of course there’s some kids who would not care

Yes I agree with you. That’s why children nowadays are the happiest and most well adjusted of any previous generations. Schools and teachers are so happy that their pupils are completely free of behavioural and MH issues.The children nowadays arrive at school bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to learn. I jest of course. I definitely don’t think my generation got everything right and we probably got a lot wrong. I definitely don’t think your generation are getting everything right and are probably getting a lot wrong. I have been lucky in that I have not met any parents who don’t love their children.

I forgive you🙏.

I would never consider doing this. It's something that people are paid a decent amount of money to do as a job. If I did it for free, the neighbour is effectively being advantaged by an amount equivalent to that sum of money, and I would be disadvantaged by the same amount.

Yes you are right, there has been no perfect generation of parenting as of course, being a perfect parent is not a thing. It does seem different though but how?

I’m amazed you were actually thinking about it tbh. The walk to school is some of the best 1:1 conversation I have with my 7 year old. I’d help out a friend but not someone I didn’t know and was unlikely to become a friend of my children. We are also pretty variable time wise and I wouldn’t want to have the regular commitment of having to leave on the dot. Sometimes we’re there at gate opening and sometimes gate closing. I’d always help out neighbours for sickness, one-offs etc but wouldn’t want a regular commitment.

At the end of the day, you have to pick a school you can get your child to or arrange childcare. That’s not the OPs problem to fix.

She sounds really cheeky and asking strangers could possibly put her child at risk.

All of this. It’s also my child’s decompression time or time when we get him set up for the day. Our mornings also vary hugely and like you I’d hate that I needed to be ready and adding another child would just be too much mental load
for what benefit? None.

Or maybe she just doesn’t need a random 9yr old in the car. Find a brain.

Yeah, but what about the days you don't go? Say your child is sick and doesn't go to school - are you happy to be responsible for someone else's child?