Social referral.. never had this before and absolutely terrified

[Wonderland12]

Speech & language referred to SS apparently school have raised concerns also but not said anything. Allegations are dental neglect and that his teeth “look dirty” - has weak teeth dentist visit today confirmed reduce in sugar but otherwise all dental care perfect brushing by ourselves and no issue with brushing teeth all being done as should. Required some treatment which was given but nothing out of the ordinary or extreme. Dentist said it’s just where he has has previous treatment and stains it looks “dirty” but nothing wrong. He has routine appointments we attend all and he goes to any treatments they plan.

Permanent stain on school clothes - they raised stains or marks on school jumper. Clothes always washed but has got a permanent small stain about 5mm wide on one and a couple of very light pen marks on the other.. they don’t come out I’ve tried.

Says he has a dirty neck sometimes.. he has a bath at least twice a week, usually plays outside school in the mornings before they go in with his friends in the grass on the field & also eats a breakfast pastry on the way to school and he’s not a clean eater. Could be from that but he is bathed and cleaned regularly we are not dirty people!!

Now have to wait for a SS call or visit, absolutely beside myself as he is extremely well cared for the anxiety is horrific thinking people think he might not be cared for when it couldn’t be further from the truth

I do bathe every day . My five year old does not , nor does he need to. Don’t be ridiculous
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

Of course it's fine for me to say I think it's abnormal - you don't get to tell other people what they're allowed to feel or say 😂

Yes he does. He needs to so he gets into a good habit as he enters adulthood. What you're showing is the bare minimum. There is no excuse for not bathing your kids every day except sheer laziness and lack of hygiene. Start as you mean to go on.

In areas of deprivation (where I work), it's over 40% of kids have decay. SS wouldn't have time to do anything else if everybody whose kids had dental decay were getting referred! That being said, it is awful that a totally preventable condition is so common, when simply brushing 2x a day could prevent most of it.

My parent who was an infectious disease consultant did not give me a bath every day at that age . No way . I bath every day as an adult. Since I was a teenager/pre teen. I’ve honestly never heard such ridiculous hyberbole

of the people who don’t smell, how do you know how often they bathe/shower?
you may assume people who smell have not washed but you cannot assume those who don’t smell have bathed/showered that day.

That's such a depressing statistic.

I watched a documentary once about bad teeth in children and there were kids as young as six having 10+ teeth removed due to decay because of their diets and their parents not bothering to brush their teeth. It was awful.

No you can't, but they also don't smell so it is irrelevant. What you can assume is that everyone who does reek or looks dirty like the OP's child hasn't washed themselves that day and/or has on dirty clothes.

Maybe there is more of a drive to improve oral health in kids. It is the main reason for hospital admissions in young children, costs the NHS significant resources and is acutely painful and miserable, yet in majority of cases is preventable.

2 baths a week!!! Why so grubby? À daily bath is the norm surely.

Eating a pastry on the way to school and arriving covered in crumbs?

wtf!

So what? It just means they were bad at their job if anything.

The letter that people get prior to orthopaedic and maternity/gynae surgeries in my area reminds people to wash daily in the week before their surgery. Some people get hibiscrub to do so, others are just told to wash DAILY with soap and water to reduce the chance of post operative infection.

I have the letter somewhere, I'll try and dig it out.

It's so depressing isn't it? I remember chewing disclosing tablets as a child and having to brush all the colour off before I went to bed lol. Are they still a thing, I wonder? Mine were bright red and I remember them tasting weird.

No it does not . Bad at their job? You are absolutely batshit .

@Lexibletheflexible who are you the armchair expert. You don’t actually have a clue . Google it maybe . lol. Some of the people on this thread sound like they have ocd being honest

@Wonderland12 are you going to come back?

Do not worry OP at worst theyll tell you to step up the hygiene and monitor your DC while brushing his teeth so that they are cleaning them correctly.
It does worry me when SS get involved over issues so extremely petty, that the school could quite easily have a quiet word about.
Perhaps if they concentrated on bigger issues such as child cruelty and neglect then we wouldn't have so many damaged or broken children in the world.

Yes it does if they don't understand how washing is beneficial. If it was your dad, it was probably because he thought hygiene, especially that of his daughters, were their mother's business.

But all you are reinforcing to any of us is that infrequent washing and poor hygiene has been a feature in your family for at least 2 generations at this point and nobody wants to break that cycle.

Proper hygiene isn't OCD, only the dirtiest people think that

"LOOK AT YOU YA BIG DWEEB, WASHING YOUR HANDS!"

Two showers a week in this weather? Do they fully wash bits and pits thoroughly and reapply deodorant every day? If not, I hope they don't go on the Tube or to an office with others and sit with their arms up.

Some men do smell, and after 3/4 days without washing, they definitely do. There aren't any non-smelly men, even if they don't sweat much, their nether regions and armpits need washing, just make them get on with it!

I never said they didn't, but they certainly can't be having baths and showers as we understand them as the infrastructure isn't there. This is exactly what I was talking about from my own experience, in the context of not always being able to have a daily shower or bath and you replied by being very rude.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5570961-social-referral-never-had-this-before-and-absolutely-terrified?page=4&reply=154373523

Which is what is meant by a strip wash which I was taught to do as a child growing up in a remote, tiny cottage without a bathroom. We had no piped water for the first few years and had to carry water from a spring for drinking and washing. I can still carry two full buckets of water without spilling a drop. It's so easy to preach to others when you've never known what it is not to be able to turn on a tap for water whenever you need it. 🙄

All of the Caribbean has at least outdoor showers in a pretty conventional sense but many of the Windrush generation were middle classed and already had indoor plumbing when they arrived. The homes they were expected to live in here did not or were several families sharing one facility and doing so badly.

Western Europeans have always been backwards when it comes to hygiene. The Romans improved us but we slipped back in the Middle Ages. Remember our monarchs only used to bathe yearly or whatever

It’s 2026 in the UK, almost no children have no access to running and warm water.
If you are going to properly strip down and wash with a flannel you might as well have an actual wash with a light shower or shallow bath.
I guarantee none of the people posting about bathing their children once or twice a week, or themselves, are stripping them and washing them thoroughly with a flannel in between.