Social referral.. never had this before and absolutely terrified

[Wonderland12]

Speech & language referred to SS apparently school have raised concerns also but not said anything. Allegations are dental neglect and that his teeth “look dirty” - has weak teeth dentist visit today confirmed reduce in sugar but otherwise all dental care perfect brushing by ourselves and no issue with brushing teeth all being done as should. Required some treatment which was given but nothing out of the ordinary or extreme. Dentist said it’s just where he has has previous treatment and stains it looks “dirty” but nothing wrong. He has routine appointments we attend all and he goes to any treatments they plan.

Permanent stain on school clothes - they raised stains or marks on school jumper. Clothes always washed but has got a permanent small stain about 5mm wide on one and a couple of very light pen marks on the other.. they don’t come out I’ve tried.

Says he has a dirty neck sometimes.. he has a bath at least twice a week, usually plays outside school in the mornings before they go in with his friends in the grass on the field & also eats a breakfast pastry on the way to school and he’s not a clean eater. Could be from that but he is bathed and cleaned regularly we are not dirty people!!

Now have to wait for a SS call or visit, absolutely beside myself as he is extremely well cared for the anxiety is horrific thinking people think he might not be cared for when it couldn’t be further from the truth

My hygiene is not a problem . Get a life

Paediatric dermatology associations generally recommend daily short, lukewarm baths for children with eczema or atopic dermatitis, followed immediately by trapping moisture with an emollient. 1]

This thread is fascinating. I honestly can’t imagine not insisting my kids bath/shower daily. Don’t your kids get sweaty? Is it only my kids where they spend half their life charging around and end up in a complete state? Maybe my kids are high energy but I never thought they were that weird(!) - even after a few minutes on the trampoline I’m happily planning their evening shower 🤣

Then why are you so defensive about it? If you don't feel it's a problem, crack on as you are - no-one is stopping you.

I used to run an early years setting, and we involved the local health visitor a few times with low level issues of neglect like this. It's not something I would have approached social services with as the bar for intervention is sadly much higher than it should be.

You need some support, clearly, and I would take whatever is offered. If nothing else, your child is going to end up being bullied if they smell/appear different to other kids. So for their sake, engage and listen.

this is for kids with eczema what the hell is your point

Because you said it’s “abnormal “. It’s not what you do but it’s not “abnormal “. I didn’t say your daily bathing was abnormal

I was thinking this; what the OP put in the description alone doesn’t sound enough for a referral… I hope she gets any support that she needs.

Because in my world and in my experience, what you describe is abnormal.

If you referred to my daily bathing as abnormal, it wouldn't make me angry as I'm perfectly comfortable with how often I wash.

You are the one who claimed “Paediatric dermatology association“ recommended that children do not bathe daily, which is not correct, they clearly don’t say that. They don’t recommend washing every 4 days for children with skin conditions and least of all children with perfectly healthy skin.
You claimed “all scientific and expert advice” recommends only bathing every 3-4 days, in fact you’ve also claimed daily washing is not recommended which again, is not backed up whatsoever.

I can assure you that neither of them smell of BO as I’m extremely sensitive to smells.

Not all teen boys stink. Some do but others don’t. DS is like his dad and not remotely smelly. He has plenty of girlfriends and I’m sure they’d be the first to complain if he was remotely smelly. 😂

However, wasting water on unnecessary washing should be a criminal offence as you’re actively contributing to the climate crisis.

I think how many times you bath or shower as individual adults is your personal business. The problem for the OP is that her son has visible dirt on his body which is an issue that needs to be addressed by more frequent washing.So 2 baths a week are not sufficient for her child.

https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

You aren’t the benchmark for what normal is and I don’t appreciate snide remarks implying I am smelly like a schoolyard bully . It’s absolutely pathetic

https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

If your child is in this age group, taking a daily bath is fine.

You have repeatedly claimed that “all experts” stated that daily washing was “not recommended”.

Your link clearly states otherwise.

It also states children from 11 should be bathed daily.

I am not saying bathing daily is abnormal . I never ever said that don’t put words in my mouth. Twice a week is also normal . Glad we have settled this

I never said I was - again, you're very defensive. If you're happy with the amount you bathe, why do you care what anyone else thinks about it?

You said it’s abnormal not to bathe the way you do . I am telling you it is not abnormal . Yes I am defensive at you implying I am smelly and don’t know it and am sitting in filth it’s bullying behaviour . If you were so content in how you bathe you woudnt feel the need to bully people who don’t do what you do

And again, in my world, it is abnormal. I am allowed to think that, just as you're allowed to say it's normal.

Instead of calling people bullies for disagreeing with you, maybe reflect on why you find someone else's opinion so upsetting - especially if, as you say, you're genuinely fine with your level of hygiene. Someone who is confident in their behaviour doesn't care what a stranger thinks about it.

No, you actually said multiple times that daily washing wasn’t recommended by all the experts.

Edit, here is one example “paediatric dermatology association then cos that’s what’s recommended by them, the expert group”
Actually the only thing you have linked stated to wash children between 6-11y at least twice a week and more if they are dirty from play, or smell etc. It alap says to wash younger children more regularly, and daily wash after 11.

I think it gives an overall picture of neglect .

It’s fine if it’s your opinion. It’s not fine to say it’s abnormal and make snide little passive agressive remarks implying me and my family stink .

To everyone who isnt bathing their kids or themselves daily, we can ALL smell you. You dont smell pleasant. Some of you reek. You make life unpleasant for all of us and you're bringing up your kids to be similarly nasty. We can smell your unwashed arse and genitals as well as your manky armpits. It must be disgusting to sleep next to you unless you are accustomed to that type of stench. This is how it remains a cultural issue.

Unless you bathe every morning as an adult, you will smell badly. You should leave every morning feeling minty and fresh from the shower. Not in last night's juices. Want better for you and your family.

maybe your family just has particularly stinky armpits and genitals or something. My five year old certainly does not smell .