Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

I need to get over 'girl envy'

180 replies

IKnowIambeingmad · 27/06/2008 14:12

My best friend has just had a girl. She already has a boy. I have two beautiful and healthy ds's but I feel quite envious that she now has a girl(but am v. happy for her too).
I have always wanted girls and both times I was really disappointed.
I know this feeling is stupid and irrational and I should be thankful,but I can't help it.
I do love my boys very much but feel like I'm missing something.
Please give me a slap.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Anna8888 · 27/06/2008 15:14

I think those wooden dolls are wonderful in every way and money well spent - they make a very special present.

DarthVader · 27/06/2008 15:20

Do you have a niece or a god daughter to do girl stuff with? Then you would still get some of the girl experience?!!

Tortington · 27/06/2008 15:23

boys are lovely
girls are a pain in the arse.

i know what you are thinking

you are thinking long hair and frilly dresses

think again - its not necessaily the case

you might have a bald kid with hair that doesn't grow very much

the kid could be down right ugly!

have you ever ironed a frilly dress?

no? - i guarentee your kid would stay in jeans.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
belgo · 27/06/2008 15:26

so true custardo, my cupboard is full of barely worn, crinkled firly dresses.

belgo · 27/06/2008 15:26

frilly not firly

meridian · 27/06/2008 15:30

I guess I have girl envy too... my DS is 4.5 and I love him to bits but at the same time my best friend has two DD's they are lovely and we do spend alot of time with them but I guess its one of those grass is greener.. or rather pinker on the other side... DH dosent' want any more children and I don't think I can push that really.. I was very ill when pregnate with DS .. hyperemisis... and very low blood pressure... apparently I freaked out my gp quite a bit when he tried to take my blood pressure and it dipped so low.... DH is worried that things could get worse if I were to get pregnate again.. and I worry that if it happened and I was very sick again that it would not be fair to DS... sorry I'm wittering its jsut a topic I have thought about alot...

OrmIrian · 27/06/2008 15:45

DD and DS#1 were given a beautiful dolls house and furniture by my parents for christmas when they were 2 and 4. Neither of tem bothered with it until this year when DD got a stable with horses and the house became an extension to the stables . The coachman lives in it.

DD doesn't do girly. Thank god.

greenelizabeth · 27/06/2008 15:56

My son is SO clingy. LOL at boys being less clingy/?!?

Every child is himself or herself really. It is very taboo to admit having a preference. When I admitted it even slightly, hinted at it, I was put in my place really.

I would be sad never to have had a daughter. But MAYBE my dd will never go shopping with me, never have coffee with me, or ask me if this top goes with these trousers?! I reallly hope she does, but I can already sense that my relationship with her is more loaded. If that makes sense. There's a clash of wills there. My son wants what he wants and he's no pushover, but it's not ME he's pushing against. If that makes sense. I have seen some mad generalising on this thread, and MY generalisation is that a relationship with an adult son may not be as close as it could be with an adult daughter BUT it will be a heck of lot less complicated.

2Happy · 27/06/2008 16:04

Admitting it is a bad idea, not only because you will get a lot of people who say "you should be grateful to be having any child" (which is true, but of course apt to make someone feel even more guilty about their feelings than they did in the first place, even though their feelings are entirely irrational and out of their control); but also because parents of your desired sex (whichever that may be) start to pity you, and there's nothing worse than that. And they say patronising things. And are generally irritating. Grump.

Sazisi · 27/06/2008 16:12

I totally completely and utterly adore all of my lovely daughters, but must admit to a little bit of boy envy.
It's not something that dominates my life or anything, but I think it's a very natural way to feel. I would never want my girls to know though

belgo · 27/06/2008 16:23

2Happy - yes admitting it is a bad idea, but I've lost count of the number of times I've been asked 'are you trying for a boy this time round then?' What do they expect me to say, 'yes, we'd be really disappointed with another girl'?(which of course isn't the case).

MingMingtheWonderPet · 27/06/2008 16:24

Borrow my DD for a day. Your girl envy will be a thing of the past!
She is a little madam, with much greater tantruming ability than my DS!

Lizzylou · 27/06/2008 16:30

With 2 DS's I do get at little girls with tutus and fairy wings on, wierdly as I was very tomboyish growing up and am not a girly person.
I'd just like to see what being Mom to a girl is like, and maybe get a little blance in the house. I have 3 brothers as well, so have always been surrounded by boys.
That said, my boys show me so much love and are such "Mommys Boys".

Playmobil all the way here too, I used to play with my brothers toys growing up as they were more interesting.

Lizzylou · 27/06/2008 16:31

Apologies for typos/grammar have just had drastic haircut and am in shock

ButterflyMcQueen · 27/06/2008 17:32

teen girls are really not nice

its payback time then op as teen boys can be a delight

maidamess · 27/06/2008 17:33

Believe you me, girls are not all they are cracked up to be. I should know, I am one.

Original poster
IKnowIambeingmad · 27/06/2008 19:43

I confided my feelings to a friend. She has 2 teenage boys and thought she would understand.
She does totally and said that she feels really left out as the boys and her dh are really into sports and are always off watching or playing football and cricket. at home, theyre into games consoles or dvds that she's not really into.
She said sometimes it feels like she's only there to feed them or wash their kit.
. Boo sob wail.

OP posts:
TheChicken · 27/06/2008 19:44

yes and girls wil SOSO SO wnat to share wiht their mums at that age

get real

susia · 27/06/2008 19:45

I always wanted more than one child but split up with my son's father and now I'm too old...would be happy with a boy or a girl I think you should be happy you've got a partner and two lovely children. I would give anything for that.

Original poster
IKnowIambeingmad · 27/06/2008 19:49

I know, I know.
I really do know with my head that I'm being ridiculous.

OP posts:
Original poster
IKnowIambeingmad · 27/06/2008 19:49

Just need to get a grip.

OP posts:
TheChicken · 27/06/2008 19:49

repeat after me
i am being reallystupi and girls will hate me and nick their clothes then ring me when teir baby cries and ill have to jiggle the chuffing thing

hannahsaunt · 27/06/2008 19:50

I have three boys and no desire for a girl at all. I love having boys. And I do have three adorable nieces to indulge any need for girlydom (without having to do periods and the like). I didn't/don't have a particularly girly relationship with my mum so it's not something I miss to date and don't anticipate missing come teenage years.

bamzooki · 27/06/2008 20:02

Boys rock.

Could you look on your neice as a sort of surrogate daughter and get to do the stuff you feel you will miss out on, with the added bonus of not having to deal with someone else's PMT, long hair clogging up the bathplug, flouncing, 'Fine!', your makeup and jewellery being nicked, etc etc.?

I adore my DD but she also drives me to distraction at times.

annoyingdevil · 27/06/2008 20:56

My ds is 100 times more clingy than DD has ever been!

Swipe left for the next trending thread