Nearly 12-year-old wants to attend Pride and we have said no

[EdgyAzureBee]

My nearly 12 DD recently came out as bisexual and wants to go to a pride event. DP (who’s her father) and I both think she’s too young, don’t want her exposed to gender ideology and we said she can’t go. She’s now v angry with us even thou I explained to her why we said no and told her that we always love her. Just trying to do what we think the best thing is for her. She has a class mate she made friends with who is a ‘they’ and she became v interested in this whole thing. I totally didn’t expect her to come out with this so young.
DP and I both have been to pride before (him due to work me socially) and neither of us thinks she should go although DP thinks it’s more like a fayre but I know they sell sexual stuff that I’d not want an 11 y.o. see. She is not happy we said no and keeps pestering us.
My friends agree with our decision, what are your opinions here? I’m new to this so please be kind

So you’d say the same if a 12 year old girl had a crush on a boy ?

I inadvertently wandered into the Pride event in Paris and it was incredibly inappropriate - a lot of leather and arse hanging out. I don’t really see why that should be seen as appropriate regardless of sexuality.

So ignorant. How old do you think people suddenly know? I’ve known since I was a child and believe me, nobody was suggesting anything back then. You go ahead and tell your kids they’re ridiculous at nearly 12, they won’t come back and tell you anything at an”older age “.

Why are you asking for advice if you’re not planning to take any of it?

But she hasn't said she has a crush on a specific boy or girl she's just stating she's apparently bisexual.

I don’t think children that young should be attending any event related to sexuality.
I’ve been to several pride events, and they’ve all had some aspects to them not suitable for kids.

What about finding a tiny one this year to go to?

Indeed. This thread is just showing me how important it is to keep supporting Pride. We haven’t moved past it yet, sadly. I have no idea why people think little girls having a crush on little boys is all normal, but a preteen saying she might also find girls attractive is ridiculous.

I am a straight woman married to my husband for decades now but my kids are welcome to bring any (kind and decent) person home they fancy - no judgement from me and no expectation that they need to wait for whatever age to be honest with me.

One of my 10 year old son’s friends thinks he might be gay. He was super upset and talked to his mum and she was very clear that it made 0 difference to her and she would talk to him about anything at any time. He just started noticing that when the girls and boys were giggling and ‘dating’ and such, he was picturing holding hands with someone else altogether. Totally developmentally appropriate at 10 and not a sign of him starting to have sex, just the same giggly moments many others have at 10.

Is there a youth pride section? We take our daughter to that in Edinburgh and its lovely to see the young ones enjoy themselves.

… and she’d know that because she’s had crushes on girls and boys …

I was 10/11 when I knew I was gay. Here I am now at 46 and married to another woman.

Don't be ridiculous (and ignorant).

Unfortunately the gender ideology is there. Almost impossible to keep your DD away from it.

I think you should let her go (accompanied by you). Stopping her from going will only make the event seem like a forbidden paradise to her rather than a carnival and some stalls, which might be pleasant if you don't mind crowds and loud noise, but it's nothing amazing.

Bisexuality isn't particularly a focus of these events, they seem to be all about glamorous costumes and make up, but if it makes her feel supported by you to go there, surely that's a good thing?

Things are quite different now more then half of kids this age like to tell everyone their gay or bi or a furry or trans as its fashionable the majority of them won't be when their older and actually have their own minds instead of following trends to fit in.

Would you take it seriously if she said she liked boys? Children have a sexualiy at that age their levels of awareness and exploring differ. So if it's not serious how does she explain what she's feeling? If she can't explain how does she tell you if something's troubling her?
You don't want to lock her into something. That's positive but you don't have the power to change her feelings only to silence them.

Go with her. You’d be sending a clear message that you love and accept her but you’d also be able to steer her away from
more adult stalls and/or discuss the things you’ve seen afterwards.

Theres no reason you can’t have a loving conversation about things you don’t like “well I actually don’t really agree with that thing we saw and I feel this…as you grow up you will form your own opinions from lots of information and experiences.”

Lots of LGB people also have negative feelings about gender ideology and share these views at pride. The beauty of a well run pride event is it’s literally for everyone.

Tbh I would compromise. Take her but says she has to stay with you that way you can steer her away from.the things you don't want her to see.

Are you the same poster whose daughter is throwing a major strop about not being allowed to go to an activity and is not looking after her pets?

But that was the 80s and you wasn't saying it to be fashionable and fit in like the majority of kids now. Being gay, bi trans ect is the new goth the majority will grow out of this stage as its not who they really are and are just following others.

Can’t believe how many people are telling you to take her! It is completely fair to say no she is too young.

And those who really are are hurt by the dismissal and assumption that you have .

YANBU.

If she came to me and said she fancied a specific girl or boy not an issue but making a statement like this at 12 because her friends are saying it wouldn't take seriously

I wouldn't be encouraging much of any kind of relationship except friendship at 12

I attend multiple pride events each year.. some of the biggest and a few smaller ones, with my husband, I have never in my life seen 'dildos' on sale, the worst I've seen is a few badges or clothing with some inappropriate wording.

You will end up pushing her away, take her and go to the family part.. you might even enjoy it yourself