Nearly 12-year-old wants to attend Pride and we have said no

[EdgyAzureBee]

My nearly 12 DD recently came out as bisexual and wants to go to a pride event. DP (who’s her father) and I both think she’s too young, don’t want her exposed to gender ideology and we said she can’t go. She’s now v angry with us even thou I explained to her why we said no and told her that we always love her. Just trying to do what we think the best thing is for her. She has a class mate she made friends with who is a ‘they’ and she became v interested in this whole thing. I totally didn’t expect her to come out with this so young.
DP and I both have been to pride before (him due to work me socially) and neither of us thinks she should go although DP thinks it’s more like a fayre but I know they sell sexual stuff that I’d not want an 11 y.o. see. She is not happy we said no and keeps pestering us.
My friends agree with our decision, what are your opinions here? I’m new to this so please be kind

Ive always said your future sex life is none of my business you can be in a relationship with whoever you want but I certainly wouldn't encouraging it by keep bringing it up or taking an 11 year old to pride or calling my child by a different name or buying my son a dress to wear, or putting out a litter tray for my child. They're 11 and impressionable. Kids say allsorts of crap.

Have you forgot what it's like to be 12? There is no shielding her from gender ideology or sex toys. She will know all about that already.

Trust not only your gut but what you’ve seen at your local Pride. She’s too young. That’s the end of it.

I think you’re right. I have friends who are gay parents who don’t take their children because they don’t think pride represents what they stand for… a healthy loving relationship between 2 adults. They don’t want their child to think the overtly sexual nature of pride and the gender ideology has anything to do with being gay in itself.

I mean you are very clearly set on your decision, not sure why you’re even discussing it here when you’ve already decided what you’re going to do?

Why are you comparing bisexuality with a child pretending to be a dog?

I knew perfectly well what sex I was into at 12. I don't see why you think she doesn't?

Main Pride event round our way is over 18 after a certain time in the evening but before that it is a big family friendly affair… saying no without exploring further was perhaps a mistake, but one you have time to fix and have a great conversation about

I agree, I mean I've had same-sex relationships in the past even so I don't consider myself an uptight prude or whatever, but context/environment are important factors to consider. And in 2026 and at age 12 "her peer group may be influencing her more than any genuine emerging sexual feelings she is experiencing" is probably more likely than not.

At 11/12 telling the difference between close friendship and romantic attraction is not exactly a well-defined science.

I would vaguely say that's nice dear if she mentions it and encourage some kind of new outdoor/active hobby that doesn't involve the internet.

Agree with this

^ This

.......And you mean what sex as in boy girl- rather than what type of sex act. ( Which by the sound of it might be a feature at some Pride marches)
Yes I tend to agree though some people can be more fluid I understand....

I think the message needs to be -

Its not because it's Pride, it's because it's too old for you right now.

No chance would she be going. If I say no, I mean no. It's not up for discussion. I wouldn't be taking 12 year olds to any event that celebrates sexuality of any description.

It's absolutely developmentally normal for 12 year olds to experiment with their identity and for them to have sexual feelings.

If your dc tells you something that's important to them, I think a good parent takes it seriously. It doesn't really matter if she continues to define herself as bi or not, she's learning about what extent you are willing to accept her version of herself above who you want her to be.

I imagine the "that's nice dear" parents will be astonished when they end up with dc who don't want to spend time with them in future years.

It depends where you live. Pride in London no. Pride in my little town yes. It was a few crappy market stalls. The worse thing you could get hold of was a free sperm keyring. Thing is she is 11 or 12. She'll likely grown out of this
But if you make it a big thing you say no to it will become more important to her. Just pop along with her for half an hour and take away the mystery of it . It'll just be a few stalls in an over hot town square.

Some people have a good idea of their sexuality at 11, but with a girl that age claiming to be bisexual I would think there's a pretty good idea she's just confused. E.g. miscategorising normal feelings of intense friendship, jealousy toward pretty girls or whatever as sexual attraction.

I think current pride is horrible. Men prancing about in fetish gear and dressed up as dogs. Trans wearing next to nothing and every kind of pervert out there. Its not about gay any more. A lot of my gay friends wont go because they say its been hijacked.
I certainly wouldnt be letting my children go until they were much older.
Its become a carnival of the grotesque.
Let her have a childhood.

You don't want her exposed to what ?? Are you seriously this up tight and all so serious

what a load of bollocks , go to pride wave a flag and laugh !! !!! are you going to stop her visiting Germany in case she hears about nazi”s. Are you baning books in case she finds out about abuse. What about bin face and farage ? Do you switch off the tv every time tromp comes on ?

what about date rape , estate agents and global warming, do you hide all these things from her ?

treat her like the teen she nearly is a have a Conversation about what ever is bothering you about gender then go and support her identity and support what is importance yo her

take stick out of your arse

Would it be possible to separate the principal and the practical here?

The principal that she wants to go to a pride event doesn't seem to be an issue. The practical that the one near you seems over sexual seems to be the problem.

How about a solution of doing some research to find one with a more family atmosphere as described by pp here and take her to that?

Clearly you are not a parent

at least i truly hope not

You've told her no so that's the end of the discussion. Too late to backtrack.

So a wedding then ?

I think she's too young, if it was heterosexual people flaunting their sexuality and stalls selling sex toys, etc, I wouldn't want her to go either, just not appropriate for children.

What sort of weddings do you go to?