Annoyed that my 12-year-old took ice creams from the freezer without asking

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Hi all
i am really annoyed tonight as
my 12 year old DD ate two in creams from the freezer - a
mars ice cream and a snickers ice cream taking them without asking.
she said she ate them yesterday when I was out in the garden.
it just makes me feel like I cannot leave treats around for fear they will be eaten.
Usually we take them out at least one day over a weekend to a beach or park or activity and they usually get an ice cream l. Unless she has been fighting DS in the car. Well today was one of those days so she didn’t get an ice cream. I felt like she was saying haha I ate 2 ice creams yesterday behind your back.
she cannot see why I am angry and trying to defend it with ridiculous comments. I have to say I aM not enjoying parenting this age. The arguing back is getting worse and she seems really selfish.

Yeah right 😂

I would be a bit annoyed that she’d ate two because that’s just greedy, she should be allowed to have food without seeking permission though.

Find it bizarre not one of my 9 kids has ever had to ask. If I have specific things not to eat I say so to them all don't touch these and they don't. They get to the age where they can make choices themselves and don't need to ask just like they know not to eat snacks before meal times

@Lilypad789Its not that deep, it was a light hearted comment about how greedy I'd been today eating 4 after the gluttonous comment. Hence the embarrassed emoji. Chill out, eat some ice cream 🍦 🍦

I don’t understand the issue. Just buy more ice cream?

Im with @Lilypad789 it’s greedy to have two on the same day, and a bit selfish if she’s meant to ask. I have one kid who just would eat anything they could get their hands on, and I have had to tell them to put back a bag of crisps when they have two plus biscuits etc in their hands. We’ve always had a range of available food so clearly not all of them learn to self regulate.

What are the rules about food in your house?

does your daughter have any issues with food and weight?

your response to this and your rigidity about food, permission and treats is ringing some alarm bells

You can choose to eat whatever you want. But responding by telling me to chill because I mentioned a factual health consequence isn’t really fair. I would also rather not go and eat ice cream, if I were to indulge in something unhealthy with long term health consequences it would be a pack of Lambert & Butler but funnily enough no one ever tells you to chill out and have a couple 😂

Thank you. I genuinely don’t even know any adults that wouldn’t regret eating a second ice cream in one day. I know my children would have a tummy ache after 2 and my blood sugar would be out of whack even with the small ones. It’s also very rude to do something that your parents have explicitly told you that you’re not allowed to do. If this question were asked differently on a different day the OP would have received different responses I’m sure of it. For example: how many ice creams do you allow your children to have in one day? Would have been met with lots of ‘only spirulina based ones on a bi-weekly basis.’ 😂 I am convinced that some women are just adamant they will pull down OP’s on any post.

I was always nicking sweet treats growing up....I've got a massive sweet tooth and I still struggle not to overindulge. It's normal behaviour for me so I can't really shout at my kids for doing the same. Obviously the rules are they need to eat a proper meal first....but with the best will in the world they will sometimes eat treats on the sly. Like a pp said, once the treats are gone, they're gone so there are natural consequences

This

I’m genuinely sorry about your dd’s difficulties, that must be hard for you both.
But you’re proving my point, starvation, even without other disabilities and complexities is of course going to lead to issues with eating and food.
Right now it’s not going to be your priority, and perhaps it will never be applicable. But a 14/20/30/50yr old isn’t avoiding bad food choices because a grown up said no or put them out of reach.
Likewise I don’t believe adults are obese because they were born with an insurmountable desire to eat everything within arms reach. Putting every other complex explanation why adults might be obese aside and basing it only on the assumption they can’t eat in moderation, it still comes down to the inability to self regulate.

I've always expected younger DC to ask for treats like biscuits, ice-cream etc rather than help themselves so they don't end up spoiling their appetite...However with my much younger DC, who has ADHD, they cannot control their impulses and will help themself without asking and either secretly eat it or meltdown when challenged. I've had to stop buying ice-cream this summer for this reason.

I don't understand all the parents commenting about allowing their kids to snack freely. That is non-parenting.

I used to see a family on my commute in the morning. They’d often be eating Monster Munch on the bus at 08.00 and I’d sometimes see them waiting for the bus in the afternoon. The bus stop was next to a Greggs and they’d often be eating donuts or sausage rolls. Occasionally Dad was with them ( or the person I took to be Dad). All of them were significantly overweight. I worked in child protection at the time and I used to think of all the endless “ parents know best” bollox I read on here. Adults can’t even self regulate their eating so I can’t possibly see how kids are expected to do it.

I was brought up in a house where you had to ask to take anything from the fridge. Money was very short and treats were bought on a "one each" basis so if you took two you were depriving another member. Even as an adult I would not have simply gone into my parent's kitchen and taken a packet of crisps or a piece of fruit without asking. No one helps themselves in my kitchen.

I buy some treat type food with the weekly shop and when it’s gone it’s gone. We don’t get more.

Otherwise I don’t make too much of a fuss around it. You seem to be making too much of a fuss.

If this is all you’ve had to deal with count your blessings. Seems a very minor thing.

I apologize if my sense of humour missed the mark. I said chill out because it's a thread about ice cream. No offense intended.

Difficult to read tone on here I know. Same x

This does sound controlling. My dc are uni age but have always been allowed to take any kind of food out of the fridge/freezer/cupboard. The only restriction is if something is needed for dinner or for a packed lunch or something.

Also food shouldn’t be used as a punishment. I think they should have got ice creams on the day out even if they fought. You should have corrected that behavioru without involving food

My kids are able to help themselves to ice cream in the freezer, I’ve never expected them to ask how bizarre mumsnet is really a strange place

This kinda made me feel sorry for your kids. Mine have free range to have pretty much what they want. If its there they can have it unless its actually something I've bought for myself. They know they can have pretty much want they want. They always ask first though just because its manners but unless I'm cooking dinner they know I'd say yes.
Is there a reason you were angry that she had two ice creams behind your back?

I'd only be annoyed if she had eaten a siblings ice cream as well as one meant for her.

I may be reading this slightly differently but the OP brought two ice creams - one for each child - for a day trip that was occuring the following day.

Yes, OP I would be annoyed to get to a freezer to pack and discover both ice creams had been eaten by only one child.

It's selfish, and honestly dishonest as it sounds as though she's well aware they are to be earned as a treat for good behaviour in the car.

Not every family can afford to just go out a replenish treat snacks, mumsnet.

I don’t have my children begging for food! They take food if they want it. Do people actually do this?