How do parents balance work, six children and keeping on top?

[boymum06xo]

Hello,

I am all brand new around here, a friend of mine recommended I posted and wrote down my thoughts/feelings hoping it will relieve some of the pressure and feelings of overwhelm.

I am a mum of six beautiful, amazing and clever boys aged 11, 9, 6, 5, 4 & 2 years old, I have a wonderful partner who is incredibly helpful, loving, supportive and a wonderful father, I genuinely couldn't ask for better.
I work 4 days a week and my partner works 6 days a week, he works long hours so is only really at home in the evenings and his 1 day off a week.

How do people, keep a clean/tidy house, work, raise children, maintain some sort of a social life, keep on top of endless washing, and look slightly less homeless than the day before, I cant remember the last time I had my nails or anything like that done, plus cooking, food shopping, kids after school clubs, i see people so well put together, nice hair etc and they seem to be so effortless, I feel like I'm drowning.

I absolutely love my life and I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed that I have what I do, but it just feels like something has to give- sounds silly but things in the house that I don't get chance to clean, like skirting boards, walls, under the sofa, it really gets to me.

Does anyone have any tips? schedules? advice? wine to give!!!???
And if I could have a clean house, food shop done, cleaned car, clean self all in one day that would be amazing!!

Thanks for reading.
xx

Most people don’t choose to have 6 children and also have parents who are working the equivalent of 6 days a week too.

And if I could have a clean house, food shop done, cleaned car, clean self all in one day that would be amazing!!
Get your groceries delivered and pay for a cleaner.

I also have 6 children, however I don't work as am carer for 13 year old with disabilities.

If you're both working, you need a cleaner once a week.

11 and 9 year olds can help, perhaps they clear up the kitchen after dinner together 3 days a week?

Do at least one load of washing every day, and put it away, get a heat pump dryer and just tumble everything. If you can, do certain people's together to make it easier to put away, ie two youngest, middle two, older two, yours and husbands, towels, sheets.

Ours are 15, 13, 9, 9, 4 and 2. They have jobs to do which help keeps things ticking over and tbh I think it's good for them to have responsibility.

13yo (SEN) lays the table every day. 15yo and 9yo twins have a rota to clean the kitchen every week day - clear table, load dishwasher, wipe sides, sweep.

Honestly? No one I know has 6 kids.

The person I know with 4 doesn’t work herself.

The person I know with 3 outsources a lot to nanny/cleaner etc etc

Everyone else I know has 2, 1 or 0 kids

I have 5 children, and I never figured this out myself.

Ideally, the children would grow up and help you out by doing chores… there’s that.

Honestly I’m not sure if that’s achievable. I have 3 kids and both my husband and I work and I outsource almost everything. So the time I have off I spend it with the kids. Otherwise it isn’t possible.

Oh, and do a 3 week meal plan and just keep rolling with it till you're bored then redo. Shop online for the plan (easier to do in advance as you know what you'll be having).

My parents had 6 children. Dad worked long hours and mum delegated ... unfortunately I was second oldest.

Yes we chose to have these children, But having so many we also have to work.

Thank you for commenting. Its certainly a military operation isn't it. I am definitely going to look at delegating little jobs as currently, apart from keeping their bedrooms tidy, none really do anthing else.

I was one of 4 so completely get what you mean, we have always tried very hard not to make the raising of the younger children anyone else but our responsibility apart from when the younger ones to want to help with the babies.

When i had 6 at home I had 1 very late night a month to catch up on chores!
And once secondary age they did their own laundry and ironed their own uniform!
Much less stuff ended up on the floordrobe this way.

Realistically you either need to be able to afford to outsource a good amount of the labour of managing a 6 child household or you need to be someone who loves the chaos and doesn't need as much rest as others.

I have three kids. I don’t do it all all of the time. Something has to give. My house can be spotless but my social life is non-existent. My social life is great or my washing pile is managed.

DH and I work full time (me condensed hours so only 4 days) so it’s a lot of work. We lower our expectations of ourselves and prioritise the important things like our kids being happy and healthy. The tidying can wait.

I have never met anyone with six children. I recommend a cleaner and online shopping.
You might have a look at the US trad wives who often post tips on managing large families, though in general they don't have jobs outside the home.

Is it even possible? We have 2 DCs, I work 4 days and DH works 5 days and we struggle to keep on top of everything. I couldn’t imagine doing it all with 6 DCs!

I had 4 kids. A huge 13-14kg washing machine and two tumble dryers helped. Every person/ room had a laundry basket and every day one dirty lapped basket got washed, dried folded and returned to the room and put away. food deliveries automated. Robot hoover. Weekly cleaner.

We were only 3, and we had multiple chores from a much younger age. Nothing wrong with making them pitch in. That’s how they learn how to be a productive adult. We took it in turns running the hoover, mopping, helping clearing the kitchen…

I now help run a scouts / guide group and it’s clear when we go for overnights or camping, which children have learnt to clean their own plates at home, and which ones haven’t.

It’s called being a member of the family, not chores. Everyone must pitch in, age accordingly.

But they're still part of the household and should be helping, the older ones particularly. They can wash pots, load the dishwasher, empty bins, put washing on, sort it, put it away, help you do a quick pick up of the house in the evening etc. It's good and useful for them to learn these things.

How do parents balance work, six children and keeping on top?

They are millionaires and can outsource.
or they don’t.

what makes you think you can or should be able to clean and run a household with everything that involves like laundry and grocery shopping, prepare and clean up from 2-3 healthy meals a day, work full time and be a good parent to SIX children. Does that seem like a reasonable workload objectively speaking?
so you need to be realistic with yourself about what’s possible, what you can outsource, and what you need to let go of

Who TF cleans skirting boards and walls. I certainly dont and I live on my own with cats.
If you have 6 kids you need to drastically lower your standards until they all leave home.
My aunt had 4 and nothing much was cleaned until they all left home.
You also have 6 potential cleaners. Kids need to be given chores when they are old enough to earn their pocket money. Its also good for them to learn how to cook, clean and wash their own clothes before they are independent.

Could you afford to hire a weekly cleaner?

I have a five week rolling meal plan that can be adapted for seasons/hosting/if we are out etc, that cuts down on time deliberating.
I always had the food shop delivered on my day off (I would pop to M&S or Aldi for alternative bits) and dedicated that morning to changing beds, tidying and putting away laundry etc. I ironed in the evening when DC were in bed and had and folded/hung ready to be put away as I went - I watched a weekly episode or two as I did it.

I get my hair cut regularly and have my nails done only for special occasions. I file and put on a nice nude polish every Thursday night, it’s just became habit. I have a swift skincare routine and I am working on a streamlined wardrobe where outfits are interchangeable and easier to identify. If I haven’t worn it in a year it goes on Vinted!

I think you have to be realistic. I work 3 days per week with only 2 DC and often feel overwhelmed. Obviously you will have much more washing/mess to tidy/homework/DC admin than me. My DH does most of the cooking whilst I do most of the cleaning and life admin. I've found following The Organised Mum Method has really helped me.

Oh and our cleaner comes on a Thursday so on a Wednesday night we all muck in to tidy things away, ensure all bins emptied, surfaces decluttered etc.

I also factor the cost of sending clothes to the laundrette into every holiday so we don’t come home to chaos.