How do parents balance work, six children and keeping on top?

[boymum06xo]

Hello,

I am all brand new around here, a friend of mine recommended I posted and wrote down my thoughts/feelings hoping it will relieve some of the pressure and feelings of overwhelm.

I am a mum of six beautiful, amazing and clever boys aged 11, 9, 6, 5, 4 & 2 years old, I have a wonderful partner who is incredibly helpful, loving, supportive and a wonderful father, I genuinely couldn't ask for better.
I work 4 days a week and my partner works 6 days a week, he works long hours so is only really at home in the evenings and his 1 day off a week.

How do people, keep a clean/tidy house, work, raise children, maintain some sort of a social life, keep on top of endless washing, and look slightly less homeless than the day before, I cant remember the last time I had my nails or anything like that done, plus cooking, food shopping, kids after school clubs, i see people so well put together, nice hair etc and they seem to be so effortless, I feel like I'm drowning.

I absolutely love my life and I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed that I have what I do, but it just feels like something has to give- sounds silly but things in the house that I don't get chance to clean, like skirting boards, walls, under the sofa, it really gets to me.

Does anyone have any tips? schedules? advice? wine to give!!!???
And if I could have a clean house, food shop done, cleaned car, clean self all in one day that would be amazing!!

Thanks for reading.
xx

No they don't..never cleaned a skirting board in my life

I was only one of three and for as long as i can remember we helped. We did the pots after tea. We had to tidy our own rooms. Hoovered daily etc after high school. By time we were teens we all mucked in before we went out at a weekend. So i cleaned the bathrooms or polished everywhere or hoovered the whole house. Between three of us and mum and dad the whole house was cleaned saturday morning.

Im not saying your kids have to do loads or anything like we did but small bits add up. Get them from a young age to tidy up after themselves ( they do this at nursery and school). Put washing in a basket or even a pile and so on.

It made it so much easier when i moved out at 20 too that i could do everything i needed to live without parents.

I’m a dirt bird frankly and even I know skirting boards get dusty. How could they not?!

Im all for kids doing reasonable & appropriate chores, but what often happens in big families is that reasonable goes out the window because the parents simply can’t do it all.
I know a family where a 15 year old girl was devastated when she found out her mum was expecting baby no 8, as she knew exactly who’d be raising that baby when her mum went back to work. That was only 40 years ago.

Thank you. Probably the nicest comment on this thread. Really wasn't expecting such a hostile response from so many.

Thank you. :)

Thank you :)

They get plenty of attention, They all have their clubs, friends, hobbies etc. My parenting isn't up for debate, Keeping a somewhat clean house was what I wanted advice about. Im shocked so many people are being so horrible. I have six very much loved, planned children, me and my partner work very hard to pay for them and keep them in a good lifestyle, and yet because i feel overwhelmed with chores my parenting gets questioned. I thought this was a support site.

Thank you :) Its so bizarre isn't it, I literally wasn't expecting such a hostile response.

Apologies I thought this was a forum for parents, Maybe you're in the wrong place.

Most people with big families make the older dc become “parents” and “cleaners” whilst they are still children themselves. They delegate the work to dc which I think is appalling.

The parents choose to have this number of dc and then cannot manage so dc have to be roped in. The older ones don’t get a choice. Not great - I would pay for help. However when parents both work, it seems they need the money. Which isn’t surprising.

What cars seat 8 people in safety? Must cost a lot!

What is so wrong with have 6 children. I can assure you it is a serious thread.

Thank you for such a kind comment. Amongst some of these its incredibly welcome. I am going to look at reducing my hours and seeing if I can work some of it from home.

Who told you any of that is possible with that many kids?

Don't want to derail my thread but eg my skirting boards accumulate some dust from time to time so require some dusting but not too frequently 😬
OP, kudos and respect. I would be in a mental hospital with 6 kids as much as I love the idea of big families.

Random question - how do people do things such as managing to leave a house on time?

I have two and with one of them, everything is a battle. It's not been easy mentally.

Everything gets dusty if you never clean it

See it posts like this that make me suspicious about half the stuff on this site. You’ve spent the last 10+ years birthing 6 children, and you needed a post on MN to come to the realisation that you could reduce your hours and WFH a bit?

Thank you, I am actually quite shocked at some of these comments, I was recommended this website because of how much support it gave one of my friends. We chose to have a big family, We always wanted a girl which is why we tried twice more after boy number 4 but it wasnt meant to be.

Thank you :) I absolutely adore my big family and dont take it for granted. I have lost pregnanices so my heart goes out to you.

We were both adopted as babies and never had a family of our own as such so always wanted a large family, We did initially only want 4 but when baby number 4 was another boy I really wanted a girl so we tried twice more but not meant to be I am meant to be a boy mum

Ill send them back. Thanks. Never thought of that.

Six kids here too.
It’s a lot when they are little. I didn’t work as dh runs his own business and worked a lot it just wouldn’t have worked. That’s said I did still outsource some stuff. I had a cleaner once a week which forced the tidy up before hand.
Small things making sure everywhere was tidy before bed, packing bags night before, doing all the school admin when I sat down at night, wash on every day, washing one set of bedding each day then everyone’s got washed once a week, online shop, got the car cleaned once a month so nothing started to grow in there….
Its hard when you are in the thick of it be kind for yourself and definitely try and carve out a bit of time to do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Oh and ignore all the snarky comments. 🙄

Its people like you that make me question the human race, Where do you get off being so judgemental. Up till now, I haven't been in a position to reduce my hours. My partner was off work for 12 months due to an accident and I was the only income earner, So I had to work. The children are getting older and are more independent so it is the right time to think about these things.

Thank you!!!!! :) Refreshing to hear a kind comment.