Birthday parties. Common for people to do this?!

[Cluelessfirstimer]

DS 4 was invited to a birthday party tomorrow. He cant go as its his cousins party the same day (different nursery no cross over friends).

The mum of the birthday girl created a WhatsApp group with everyone invited. Im still in it although I did tell the mum we couldn't come.

Anyway, today she sends a message. She invited "extra " people incase some couldnt make it. She over invited what the venue will allow by 5. 3 couldnt make it so its still 2 over. She has straight up tagged 2 mums to ask that they keep their DC at home as she doesnt have space.

One has replied kicking off that shes told her DC they are going and moved plans and it will cause huge upset.

Glad im well out of it but this is a bit shit right? Personally I think its awful the day before to suddenly spring on that 2 children cant come. Why would you over invite in the first place?

The group is kicking off now but the mum maintains everyone does this?! Im new to all this but I wouldnt even consider doing that.

Ugh, too bad for the birthday girl but serves the mother right.

I think the fact that she didn’t even apologise or make up a white lie to say she’s accidentally invited too many shows either one of two things a) she’s a psychopath b) she had a really poor upbringing and doesn’t understand social norms.

Depending on which you think it is would influence whether I’d bother with her in future.

I think everyone in this situation has lost. What a mess.

Well DS and the birthday girl are going to different primary schools in September. We dont live that close and I wouldnt say they are best friends or anything.

I doubt we will end up staying in touch to be honest.

Its the tagging and lack of any kind of apology that gets me. Would I have boycotted the party? Not sure honestly. Again glad im at my nephews party to not even have had to make that decision!!

Shame on the little girl that her mum behaved so badly it ruined her party. Hopefully the mother will learn her lesson and realise that other parent's wont tolerate behaviour like that.

I agree. No winners.

Shame on the little girl that her mum behaved so badly it ruined her party.

???
It's not the girl's fault!

Exactly which is why I said "shame on the little girl". Its totally her mums fault but the little girl didnt deserve to have her party ruined although as a parent i understand why parents boycotted it.

So why 'shame on the little girl'? That means you think the girl acted shamefully!

Do you mean "shame on the mother"? (sorry, I genuinely don't understand!)

It's very clear the poster means 'shame for the little girl'. Especially after the second post.

I think they mean its a shame FOR the little girl?

Ah, OK - yes, it's a real shame for the little girl. Similar words to mean two opposing things!
I hope the girl doesn't really notice any of the to-do and just had a nice time.
The mum must be cross that she ended up paying for no-shows...

The mum is obviously completely out of order and has hopefully learnt this is utterly shit etiquette and actually very unkind. I’d love to know how she decided which kids were on the cut list.

But I feel so sorry for the little girl. It isn’t her fault and it’s cruel that people boycotted the party because her mother is a twat.

I hope for that poor girls sake that her mother learns from this shitshow.

This is exactly what I mean. I feel quite sorry for the little girl. Her mum has effectively ruined her birthday party

Tbh although the mother is clearly the one in the wrong here, I also think it’s bitchy and shitty of the other parents to boycott.

Message from the birthday mum in the group
"Hi.
Thank you for the few who bothered to come to come to X party today"

She then singularly removed everyone from the group. Well, I dont know if she removed everyone but I was removed and most people are saying in the other group they were removed. I guess it makes sense since the whole reason for the group was this party.

Tomorrow will be fun...

Not normal at all! And to select the 2 you want there least and uninvite them, in a whatsapp group? Wow.

We invited the right number. A couple told us they couldn't make it, fairly early on, so we invited a couple of others at that point to fill the spaces, though they were friends from elsewhere so wouldn't have known that they were invited slightly later than anyone else. Everyone happy, no upset children.

I think when your kids are at Uni, you will laugh at how invested in all this certain people were. I agree that it wasn't fair to the poor child to boycott her party because of the Mother's mistake and attitude.

Ohh well at least you dont have to be in a group chat with her now. I do genuinely hope she reflects on her own behaviour and realises other parents reacted to her unacceptable behaviour

Absolutely not normal no. It’s fairly typical of the kind of attitude seen in the UK these days sadly. Selfish, grabby, no class whatsoever.

Actually I don't think it's bitchy and shitty of the other parents to go elsewhere. I think it's good of them to rally around those who've been uninvited (and so publicly too), and sends a clear message to birthday mum that her behaviour is awful.

The poor birthday girl is the victim of her mother's awful behaviour here, and not of other parents supporting each other. I very much hope she's not too upset and had a lovely day regardless, but if she was upset then it's for her mother to own up and explain - although I'd imagine pigs would fly before that happened.

Unfortunately in this situation there would always be someone upset however you slice it. Responsibility for the whole horrid affair sits clearly with birthday mum and no-one else.

Don't worry, most of us understood what you mean 😃

Thanks

Not normal though, that really is bad. If that was my kid I would be gutted for them.