Why do single mothers always make fathers day about them?

[NEGUY82]

Why do single mothers always make fathers day about them??

You don't see single fathers jumping up and down shouting "happy mothers day to all the single fathers fulfilling both roles"

Op I think you have just made this thread to come on mumsnet say something controversial and get women's backs up to provoke a reaction out of them.

Well guess what op you wouldn't be writing this post if it wasn't for women us men wouldn't exist if it wasn't for women. Single mums, married mums mums in relationships most do an amazing job.

I've never witnessed any single mum make fathers day about them. Some single mums are so busy caring after their children they haven't got the time to even give mothers day a second thought let alone fathers day.

I'd find it so weird if my partner was posting on Mumsnet, even if he was being nice. Obviously this is worse.

Looking forward to it!

Presumably you are a single Dad who has asked the mother of his children for something on Father's day and she has said no because it doesn't fit with her plans or your usual arrangements and now you are throwing your toys out of the pram. Did you want the kids or did you want her to give you the day off?

👎

Are you doing this just to see how quickly you can rile up a group of mothers? The few single mothers you know who - allegedly - make fathers day all about themselves, don't represent all single mothers.

I can't say I've ever seen a single mother try to make Father's Day about themselves (I do see the opposite frequently; plus ignorant men who whine on international women's day, 'why don't men get their own day?!')...what I have seen (and what I do myself), is single mothers reminding their child that Father's Day is coming up, encouraging their child to make a card, and buying their (totally undeserving) ex a thoughtful present because it will make their child happy.

We pretty much ignore father's day and don't make it about anyone.

It's probably for the best though. Imagine if you'd had a daughter and she ended up - gasp - a single mother?!

The horror!

Because they do both jobs so deserve 2 days ?

The only mums I’ve seen who do this are genuinely completely and utterly single mum’s, dad not in the picture at all whatsoever and so why shouldn’t they celebrate if they want to? They are doing the job of both parents, 24/7, if they fancy celebrating themselves for doing that then good for them.

On the other hand although I know quite a few single dad’s I don’t know any who are literally entirely parenting those kids on their own 24/7, so of course they wouldn’t celebrate Mother’s day!

Literally, this. What are you going on about OP?

Here's a few that I've seen over the last few years.

Good question.

Not just a single mother - a single mother who makes a ‘career’ out of it! 🙄

I work full time and I parent 2dc full time as their feckless father has only seen them once a year on average for the last 10 years.

Damn right I'm gonna claim father's day too - I'm pulling double parenting time AND managing a house and a full time job on my own.

Piss on someone else's bonfire op, you're not having mine!

Haven't you got anything more important/relevant/interesting to think about?
Why do you despise single mothers so much?

Funny to see posts by single mums with deadbeat exes on fathers day and think that the real issue is them posting getting the FD love. Rather than thinking about their work, their feckless exes, their kids without a present and effective dad. And OP isn't even a dad so they aren't stealing his love.

Baffling.

Quite.
Op really hasn't got a clue.
Father's Day in our house as a single mum, (and the days leading up to it) were always very difficult as they brought up a lot of emotions for my daughter every year when she was a child. I'm sure a lot of other kids without dads around would have felt the same. It was a very far cry from what OP thinks of as the main response to Father's Day from single mothers.
I do remember one year receiving a Father's Day card from my daughter's paternal grandfather (who lived abroad but whom we would see occasionally) with a beautiful message inside to the effect that I was solely responsible for everything a parent does for their child, and that I was doing a great job and my daughter was wonderful. I was very touched by it and that he recognised how feckless his own son was, and that he shared that with me.

That is lovely. And I'm sure it's true.

Does it matter if they do? (not that I see a lot of evidence of this) 🤣 Peculiar thread.

What a vague vague statement. Sure they can but so many don’t. Many fuck off entirely, many performatively babysit occasionally, many do a regular parenting load that doesn’t include knowing their kids doctor or helping with homework. A very very few do anywhere near the key parenting role.

I'm curious OP why if you believe men can do just as good as women at people a single parent - and I've no doubt there are those that do, why DON'T they tend to do that?

Why are they always seemingly fucking off to 'live their best life' and cracking out the decks and going to the gym or endless cycling instead?

And paying fuck all towards their children's lives?

There wouldn't need to be any reliance on the state if men actually stepped up.