Old Mum in the playground - I'm being silly, I know

[SugarSW7]

This is really silly. I've been friendly to a new mum at the school playground. Both our kids are in reception. We get on, but I'm an old mum. She told me, this week, that I'm the most friendly of the mums. I get the impression she wants to be friends.
She said to me that when she first saw me, she didn't think I would speak to her as I seemed posh. She asked my age, I said 40. She was floored. Shocked. She did go on to day how "I look amazing for my age". I know it was meant as a compliment, but it just made me feel ancient. She's late 20s. I never wanted to be an old mum, but i didn't meet my husband til i was 29. We got married even i was 30, we had lots of miscarriages then we had 3 kids within 3 and a half years. The oldest is 7.
Its really got to me, as i was always scared of this happening - being the old mum in the playground. I'm so embarrassed.

I was 35 when I had my first and almost 40 when I had my second. I’m now almost 60 and when I visited my kids recently in their uni town, they told me that they loved me coming out with them and their friends because I’m great company (they say - they’re biased) and fun. They have said this before over the years. So they’ve never ever been ashamed of me being an older mum. Age is a state of mind OP so embrace your life and your wonderful kids and enjoy every minute with them.

I was the young mum on the playground having had my first at 22.
I’m now the old mum on the playground having had my last at 44. I get how you feel. I felt like this when my last one was born. I told the midwife I was too embarrassed to go out with my baby. She told me not to be ridiculous!
The mums I made friends with are all approximately 10 years younger than me but I’ve not let it bother me.
I feel that the young mum who made the comments was ( clumsily) complimenting you.

I wasn't there but is it at all possible that they were laughing about something else? Just asking as me and DH had a weird incident on an escalator going into the tube once, I was hugging him from behind and made some silly joke, we both started laughing.

Then some guy in a face mask who we hadn't noticed walk past us, walked back up the escalator a few steps to just in front of DH saying something muffled. Turns out he thought we were laughing at him and was ready for a fight!

I'd prob react same as you and assume it was laughing at me - and again I wasn't there so maybe they were being nobs - but just to suggest it. I really can't imagine anyone's date of birth being something funny! As people say anyway, ageing is a blessing.

I was mid thirties when I had my first and only. I should think it is less common for Mums to be in their twenties, what with the housing and COL crisis. Aside from boundless energy I'd never have coped at that age, although many do. I also think she was in awe of how good you looked. There are a lot of positives with being a slightly older parent.

She will be if she has more kids

It's a normal age to have young kids. I know someone who had one at 50, now she may feel a bit different to the other parents in the playground when her dc is at school. Even so, so what. Just smile and nod whe folk make this silly comments.

I'm 52 with a 10 year old.

If it ever comes up, I love telling other school mums and their kids that I am "MORE THAN half of a HUNDRED YEARS OLD"!!!!!!

The kids usually gasp and squeal delightedly, and then the parents rave on about how great I look for my age, whilst I bask. 😎

Now to be clear, I look completely average for my age. But once you start bringing whole centuries into it, you're messing with minds and perception in quite a fun way 😜😉😎....

This is me. Im 39 and youngest is 2. Im quite happy to take the you look the same age as me compliments from the early 30s mums even though I am fairly sure I dont haha

I had my 1st at 32 and my 2nd at 42 I’m now 51 with a 9 year old, I lost 10 babies before my 2nd came along . I’ve never been mistaken as his gran and I’m definitely the oldest mum by far

where i live it is extremely common already, and becoming only more so, for women to not become mothers until plus 40.

everything is relative, please dont let one slightly odd reaction trouble you a moment futher. if anything she was trying to be complimentary and was a bit clumsy with it :)

I was 44 when DS started reception and I wasn't the oldest mum or dad. My DS was best friends with another lad whose DM was 15 years younger than me. We became good friends.

Two of my friends were collecting their reception aged child at fifty. You're not old.

Was the mum surprised because of your looks or your whole self?
Age as a parent is insignificant.
I always was drawn to older mums with that more calm no need to be shallow like todays young mums..water bottle..yoga pants, prams that cost more than my first car types...we are all catergorised

In fact this has happened a few times. I guess I’m not very good at discerning people’s age. Another one I thought was a fellow young mum told me it was her 40th birthday this year.
No wonder it is so hard to make mum friends they probably think I’m a big baby!!

I was the ‘young mum’ at the school gate and now i will be the ‘old mum’, my first will be going into her second year of college when my last starts nursery and honestly i felt more embarrassed being the young mum 😂

Old?? Give over! I was 33 when I had my first and 35 for the second. This mum probably just assumes that every mum is in her age bracket. Likely that same way that you do! She gave you a compliment - take it as such!

I had this recently in the playground too. One of the mums there has 3 kids and is 25. Im 43. Old enough to be her mum in fact! She didn’t believe me when I said I was 43.

🙄 take it as a complement. I had my second at 40. Slightly on the older side but not that noticeable. I often get told I look younger and I’m not offended by it

I had a baby at 40 and another at 45. I am definitely the oldest mum by a mile but I am bloody chuffed about it. My incredible body made beautiful babies. I had lots of miscarriages and going on to have gorgeous healthy babies was a miracle and I’m proud of what my body did for me and you should be too 😊

I'm shocked she was so rude as to ask your age! And that you replied! The only people who have ever asked me how old I am are medical staff, children ( and then I give an extravagant lie) and possibly boyfriends when I was younger. I don't know exactly how old any of my friends are exactly unless I'm invited to their special-age birthday.

What!! You are in no way old compared to some of the parents in my little girls year - one mum is 51 with a 7 year old! I will be almost 47 when my youngest is 7 and have a 8 year old now at 39. Don’t worry about it, she sounds a bit immature

I think you must live in an unusual area OP, if you’re considered an old mum, having had your kids between the age of 33 and 36.

While you really have nothing to worry about, I do have sympathy for the doubts you are experiencing. My husband and I are in our late 30s and had our much longed for first baby last year. I had feared we would be the oldest parents at baby groups, nursery, etc. However, it turns out we are quite typical in our area, I haven't come across a single mum under thirty round here yet so having your first at 33 would make you one of the younger mums where we live!

My DP is 57 and the oldest of the pre-school dads (though only by a couple of years!) and he does sometimes get comments from well-meaning strangers like "Oh! A day with you granddaughter! I bet you spoil her rotten!" etc. but he just laughs it off and sometimes doesn't bother to correct them.

Being a good parent is so much more important than being a young parent. Don't give it a second thought, OP ❤️

I'm 40 with a child in reception. I don't feel old. I've also been 25 with a child in reception, I felt a lot more conscious of my age then! 40 is a very normal age to have a child in reception.

You aren't an old mum. I was 46 when my DS started school. His dad was 51. We were admittedly the oldest from his class, but it didn't stop us socialising. The common denominator being the children.