Old Mum in the playground - I'm being silly, I know

[SugarSW7]

This is really silly. I've been friendly to a new mum at the school playground. Both our kids are in reception. We get on, but I'm an old mum. She told me, this week, that I'm the most friendly of the mums. I get the impression she wants to be friends.
She said to me that when she first saw me, she didn't think I would speak to her as I seemed posh. She asked my age, I said 40. She was floored. Shocked. She did go on to day how "I look amazing for my age". I know it was meant as a compliment, but it just made me feel ancient. She's late 20s. I never wanted to be an old mum, but i didn't meet my husband til i was 29. We got married even i was 30, we had lots of miscarriages then we had 3 kids within 3 and a half years. The oldest is 7.
Its really got to me, as i was always scared of this happening - being the old mum in the playground. I'm so embarrassed.

I'm a much older Mum than you and really don't take things like this to heart. When I was in 20s I thought 40 was old/er as well, didn't you? Plus it's a compliment ☺️

My mum looks amazing for her age and I have one friend that always says we could be twins 🤣

I’m 40 and I’m friendly with two other mums at the school who are 36 and 39. Ours are only in nursery, I had my twins at 36. I never feel old and absolutely lap it up when people are shocked at my age! Take the compliment!

You’d be bang average mum age round my way, she’d be very young to have a four year old.

You can tell people when they’re being rude via a compliment. ‘Thanks but I’m not 60… no need to make me feel ancient’. Sounds like she needs teaching that age isn’t a big deal.

I gave birth at 42 to my only child my medical records said geriatric mother

All my mum friends at my daughter’s school are older than me! I’m 33 and the youngest by 8 years (daughter is 10 for reference). My best school mum friends are 45 and 48!
I absolutely love them and wouldn’t change it at all, in fact I feel very lucky to have them. They’re confident, lovely, caring, loyal, and have increased my confidence ten fold. I don’t even see them as older than me, unless I think about it (like now haha)
Please don’t worry, age is just a number ❤️ and you’re in no way an old mum!

I became a parent in my late fifties and made friends with younger parents who are still friends today. Look for quality whatever the age.

Ok, so you're 'the old mum in the playground'. Far from the only one, I expect. Why were you so scared of this happening? Anyway, you are. It doesn't seem to worry anyone else. Carry on!

Huh? She obviously doesn’t know what 40 looks like. I had my kids at 41 and 43, and at my kids first school I was not only the oldest mum but the only one who didn’t have a partner (I’m a widow). We moved and in our new school all my friends from my son’s year had at least one child in their 40s. But we didn’t look any different than those ten years younger.

Jesus . I’m 39 and all of the parents at the school gate at my child’s school are either my age or older . There are one or two couples in their early 30s. I find it embarrassing that you are embarrassed about being a parent at an age that is completely normal and not notable .

I had my daughter at 38, I was 43 when she started reception, and none of the young Mums made any comments about my being an ancient Mother! 40 isn’t anywhere near old! I guess if, like me, you look younger than your age, the shocked reaction is likely more about that than the age you gave birth, as I got a few who boggled at my age, saying they thought I was much younger!

My son is in reception and I am 39. He is my youngest and I do have an 11 year old. Tbh there are a few mums younger but some older. There is no normal age or no right age. Do not put yourself down. X

@SugarSW7
I was always the oldest mother in my group at schoolgates/parents evenings, had first child in my late twenties whilst a lady in the hospital after number 6 this time round was getting sterilised; her husbands relief; I'll never forget his face! She was 25 and he was 27 managing on a local decorators wage but luckily both sets of grandparents lived nearby and that was 42 years ago
Don't worry about age be thankful you've a smashing little person and appreciate them because time runs away with you
That lady was a flabbermouth who spoke without thinking just don't go giving too many secrets/gossip away?
And another thing, I bet you look really great.

Yikes. I am 46 with a Year 1 child and I’m not even nearly the oldest! Saying that I think it depends wildly on the area you live in.

I had my last child at 41 so was 45 when he started school. On the first day he instantly bonded with a little girl, so I naturally got talking to her mum. She was barely 20. We were the oldest and youngest parents in the class. We became really good friends until she moved away to look after her dad when the kids were in year 5, but we still keep in touch now and are kids are 15.

Hi op I think you should be grateful your not old I had my dc after 30 and when I see young people I feel grateful I had my life first I feel more for them. Op as for her not being at the gates at 40 she might be a grandma by then. Take the compliment and I know plenty of people 20 30 years older there the best with wisdom and tips.

I’ve been one of the young ones (21 when I had my first) and one of the older ones (40 when I had my DD) and (possibly because I’ve always had friends of different ages) I’ve never been bothered about the ages of those around me. A friend is a friend, if you have things in common then the friendship will flourish!
Everyone has different life experiences, there are definitely ‘perennial kids’ and old heads on young shoulders along with everything in between so don’t let age bother you or make you self conscious. You are just as you are meant to be - enjoy it!

Omg you're not old. You might be one of the older mums in your circle but its not unusual. Im 45 with an 8yr old!

I’ll be 40 when my DS starts Reception in September. I’m the youngest mum among my DS’s peers (all 3-4 years old) 🤣

If I've done my maths correctly then I had my child at the same age as you (or maybe even slightly older?!). I definitely don't feel like an old mum, and I say this as someone who is at the park A LOT with other mums of children that are a similar age to mine.

So sorry to hear about your losses OP. Unfortunately the age thing works both ways. I was 25 when my eldest was born and got some patronising comments from older mums about how ‘young’ I was. I really wasn’t. I was a 25 year old adult! I 100% had some mums take an instant dislike to me because I was ‘so young.’ There are pro’s and con’s to both! But we’re all just mums who love our kids at the end of the day.

If it makes you feel any better, on the flipside I was incredibly self conscious about always being the youngest mother everywhere. It sucked.

Don’t be so sure! I had my first child at 18, and my last at 36! I was definitely still in the playground til I was 46🤣

I'm almost 47. I have a 9, 7 and 4 year old. You aren't an old mum.

Don’t be ridiculous, when I was 40 my kids were 4 & 2, it made no difference at the school gates, I wasn’t even the oldest Mum in both their school years. My sister had her 3rd and 4th at 40 and almost 42, her school Mum ‘best friend’ was 20 years younger than her!