Old Mum in the playground - I'm being silly, I know

[SugarSW7]

This is really silly. I've been friendly to a new mum at the school playground. Both our kids are in reception. We get on, but I'm an old mum. She told me, this week, that I'm the most friendly of the mums. I get the impression she wants to be friends.
She said to me that when she first saw me, she didn't think I would speak to her as I seemed posh. She asked my age, I said 40. She was floored. Shocked. She did go on to day how "I look amazing for my age". I know it was meant as a compliment, but it just made me feel ancient. She's late 20s. I never wanted to be an old mum, but i didn't meet my husband til i was 29. We got married even i was 30, we had lots of miscarriages then we had 3 kids within 3 and a half years. The oldest is 7.
Its really got to me, as i was always scared of this happening - being the old mum in the playground. I'm so embarrassed.

I think im the eldest mum at the school ( eldest is 10 tomorrow yr5) youngest yr2 just turned 7 im 50!! I really wouldn't worry

You’re definitely not old !
You had your first at 33 ?
that’s average I think 🤔 not particularly young but definitely not old

This is mad OP. You had your first child at 33. That is completely normal.

Age is a big thing these days just like everything else - job, salary, size of house, mortgage, the clothes you wear, what car you drive etc. 20 years ago when I had DD at 41 I didn't give a monkeys. The other 5 mums in the ward were half my age & stressing about breast feeding, DD was bottle fed & we both slept soundly. I was referred to as grandma twice but rather than getting upset about it I just laughed & watched their embarrassment when I told them I was mum. A first time mum at 41 and I felt 25, I loved every minute because to me she was my biggest achievement, always has been.

Had my one and only at 44. I didn't plan to be an older mum but it happened and I just go on with it.

When my DD was at school she told me her friends‘ mum was only 25, she was twenty years younger than I was. It didnt bother me in the least. The mum was more embarrased because her friend had an older brother which meant she had her children really young.

I became a mum for the 3rd time at 70. My daughter-in-law suddenly left motherhood permanently* *when her baby was 2 months old & so I had to step up & be his mum. I had no choice. I'm the only mum he knows, & he lives with me.

The worse age related things that has happened to me is when my son and I were taking our toddler to see specialists. One nurse took one look at me & tried to block me from entering the examining room. She pushed the door closed in my face. I told her, "I'm his co-parent" and she backed down. She must have thought I was an interfering & nosey old mother-in-law & she didn't want me in the room.

There's a million things I'd rather be doing than this all over again. My oldest child is in his 50's.

At another appointment, a nurse/medical assistant told me, as she pointed to a lone chair in a very small room, "Grandma, you wait in here", she ushered my son and grandson through to see the doctor. I sat down as told to - my feet were aching anyway & I needed a sit down. I'm the one with all the 'mum knowledge' about our little lad. After a while this woman came rushing in & told me they needed me in the other room.

Now when I go to these appointments I tell them right away I'm the co-parent.

I used to be the youngest mum at school etc as I had my first when I was 21. Oh well. You never know what life is going to throw at you. You just have to try to do your best.

I had my first at 40 - I was also the older mum on the playground through I dont look it. There were other older mums too so i did not feel too out of place. But playground socialising can be very cliquey. Take it as a compliment and dont let it bother you. You are not an old mum.

OP I had my first child at 32 and my second and last at 36.

I am about to be 47 years old while my youngest is still in Y6.

I actually met my husband when I was 17, but we waited 10 years to get married (degree, getting graduate jobs and saving up for wedding).

Then we did post grad degrees while working full time and had some amazing holidays before we were ready to have kids.

I live in an area that means that I am fairly typical of the age of parents… as most are graduates, and houses are fairly expensive!

To be honest, having enjoyed life before having kids has made me feel comfortable with this phase of life, as aI don’t feel like I have missed out on anything and had time to establish a career.

Age is just a number and I feel just as energetic as when I was 21!

I work full time so was / am one of the breakfast club / after school mums…. So I can’t say I have worried about my age…

Too be honest I think it’s more of an issue for mums who don’t work… there is definitely a sizeable group of non working mums… in the past when I have spoken to them at kids birthday parties, they have literally told me that it’s sad that I work… and should have married better????? They don’t seem to realise that I actually like my career and work because I feel like my work is important and I enjoy it!

I guess there are always insensitive of ass hold parents that like to punch down in one way or another!

Just let insensitive comments wash over you!

Honestly, don't worry about it. I'm sure she meant well. I am both of these mums. I had kids young (2 by the time i was 24) so I was one of the youngest at the school gates and honestly never made the cut to be in the "included" gang. Now I have a 3 and 2 year old at 43. I won't make the gang next time round at the school gates either. My partner is over 50 so likely will look like granddad lol
If you can pass a while and catch a coffee with another mum, well try and enjoy it.
In the scheme of things, as long as youbare there for your children, I promise they won't care x

I had kids at 25 & 35 & am now 46 but never felt out of place. Our school is a large two form entry with children from a diverse range of backgrounds and see parents who look much younger & older than me. I have friends who’ve had babies in their 40s and known lots of mums (and dads!) 35+. In fact, with my eldest, I felt I was one of the younger ones out of my peer group/friendship group to have a baby.

40 is not old ... stop it .... enjoy your kids and be proud xx

No one sees you the way you see yourself. Generally our biggest mistake is to think people are forming particular opinions of us, because they aren't. Also, 40 isn't that old. We had our kid at a similar age and some moms were older, some a little younger, and some much younger. But most were in their 30's and really that makes no difference except sometimes when they come around and see our house and clock that we've been in the game a bit longer than them. If she want's to be friends, be friends. We did with younger couples and it's been fun.