Pregnant at 34 with a 50-year-old husband, any experiences?

[Sinsin2026]

Hi i have just found out in pregnant i am 34 dh is 50!! We have 3 children all girls 11,2 and 1 years, it has come as a bit of shock and we have talked about it but for my dh he’s concerned with his age being 50 which is understandable he will support me whatever choice i make but termination for me isnt an option, i just want to know if anyone has been in this situation or children that have had older parents what was your experiences? Dh is an amazing father and yes its going to be super hard with 3 under 3 lol, am i over thinking all this or shall i look at this as a blessing! And yes i will w getting sterlised after this 😂

How can it be a shock when this is your third pregnancy in three years?

Why can’t your husband have a vasectomy?

Having dc is a choice and you have made yours. You've already got a 1 and 2 year old so not sure what you want people to say - it's not much different really age wise for your dh - he will have 3 primary school age dc when over the next decade his friends are becoming grandparents instead of 2. If I'm being honest I feel a bit sorry for your soon to be teen.

Exactly what changed between knocked up by a 49 yo to a 50 yo?

Well, since you have a 1 and a 2 year old anyway, there’s no value terminating because of how old he is. I would imagine this will be fine now, and an absolute disaster in about 15 years time when he is 65, his peers are retired and on cruises, and he is still working and coming home to 3 hormonal teenage girls for whom he will have to work until he’s 75 to cover the costs of. Nothing you can do about it now expect him having a vasectomy so that number 5 doesn’t arrive next year.

Dont really see the point of your response, but moving on 🙄

The age is a non issue- he won't suddenly be a worse dad at 50 than he was at 49. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I came on here for some advice and experiences my first time Ive ever posted and all Ive had is negativity wow

I thought this would be your first pregnancy. I'm not sure why a fourth one is a shock. There were ways to avoid it after the third. Him being much older than you shouldn't be that much more of a shock now since you have a 1 and 2 year old.

That is very harsh and judgemental.

As pp said it will be fine for now but teenagers need a lot of support and I wouldn’t have the patience for it in my 60s.

That's because it is very hard to see the positives. Most people would not do this.

It's true, though. Bad planning on both their parts.

The op asked for experiences. My experience is that looking after teenagers is one billion times harder than looking after younger children, and that there’s nothing I can imagine worse than having to do that at 65.

I really wasnt posting on here for backlash i was just looking for advice an experiences! First and last time i will post on here! its just made me feel much worse 😔

I'm slightly confused why you think age is a problem now when you already have 2 young children with him. Or did you think 50 was the cut off point?

I must admit the thought of teenagers, menopause and possibly the start of health issues for your DH together with the finances involved would fill me with dread

Why is it different for this pregnancy when your youngest children are only 1 and 2 years old? If neither of you wanted him to be an older father then why have those two? I’m really confused.

A switch doesn’t turn when people turn 50 and they turn into a different person. An older father is an older father whether it happens when he’s 48, 49 or 50.

Also i couldn't conceive for many years hence why its so late in age also but didn't really want to share that but maybe some of you can understand as to why its late in age

My father was older than that of my friends and I had a fantastic childhood, with a very involved, caring dad. Though, in your case, why do you think there will be any difference, since you already have two small children? It's just another one to add to the mix, right? Also, why was it a shock- surely you have been having sex without protection, given that you have a 2 and 1 year old? I think at both your ages, you could have been more careful and sensible. Can't he have a vasectomy?

He should be having a vasectomy!!! I’d be refusing to go anywhere near him until he did!

He’ll be more of a grandfather than a father, particularly as the children reach their teens. Are there any younger men in the family that are more “normal dad age” that you’re close to who could play a more active role in the children’s lives?

Hopefully he maintains good health. I had old parents and one was demented by the time I was mid twenties and both dead before I hit 30. Very depressing and my kids will never know them.

These are some incredibly bleak views.

OP, the decision is yours but from experience from friends, the transition on going from 2 kids under three to 3 kids under three is really hard. Some of that is baby paraphernalia, some of that is childcare/child care funding.

I wouldn’t let your husbands “oh but I’m over 50 now” cloud any of the other practicalities, because as some pp have pointed out, a year for him is neither here nor there.

Lots of mums, particularly on mumsnet, have babies in their mid to late 30s, so lots of mums in their 50s will have teenage daughters, so hopefully some of them will
pop by your thread for advice. (I could understand if you wanted it taken down)

Are the 2 and 1 yr old his?
I can't really understand what you're asking, you say you're looking for advice and experience but I seems you have direct experience of having young children with an older partner?

That's a bit harsh. You have no idea of the OPs financial situation. As older parents they might have paid their mortgage off and have a huge pension pot.