Pregnant at 34 with a 50-year-old husband, any experiences?

[Sinsin2026]

Hi i have just found out in pregnant i am 34 dh is 50!! We have 3 children all girls 11,2 and 1 years, it has come as a bit of shock and we have talked about it but for my dh he’s concerned with his age being 50 which is understandable he will support me whatever choice i make but termination for me isnt an option, i just want to know if anyone has been in this situation or children that have had older parents what was your experiences? Dh is an amazing father and yes its going to be super hard with 3 under 3 lol, am i over thinking all this or shall i look at this as a blessing! And yes i will w getting sterlised after this 😂

Yes, I couldn't agree more.

The parents at my dc's schools tend to be older and the advantages and input the children get way outclasses the parenting by the younger parents I know. They are just more "on it."

Please see this baby as a blessing.
S/he will be and the siblings will be delighted even in years to come.
You sound like a lovely, warm person. I wish you and your husband and family all the best. Keep well.
(I'm sorry to read some of the comments towards you on here. 34 most definitely isn't old for pregnancy and you will keep your dh 'young.' )
Enjoy your family.

What do you mean rubbish? I’m 64 and could easily look after a toddler if I was a grandmother right now.

Exactly. I’m 64 and that is not me.

You don’t know that it will be a blessing. And no one is suggesting that 34 is too old.

It will be fine. Dh will be a a year older than he is now

yes it will be hard work 3 under 3 but won’t be forever

congrats

@BeRedHam my FIL married a younger woman after MIL, it hasn’t kept him ‘young’ she has just become a carer at a younger age than she would have hoped

Why wouldn’t you trust something that is tried and tested and has worked for many couples over decades?

Most of the middle aged men in my circle of family/friends have had it done and didn’t even think twice about it. I think men who don’t step up and do their duty in this department are selfish pricks, and women who let them off the hook are mugs.

Ha, no guarantee the siblings will be “delighted” either. My friends from large sibling groups nearly all have one or two siblings that the others don’t get on with. Seems far more common in large families!

Pretty much what I would expect, bigger family, more likely to get someone you dont like in it

Some strange comments on here. What sort of families do mumsnetters have? Are their grandads pipe and slippers at 65?? I know noone like that. My own dad was very active until into his 80s. He still had spirit when he was not so physically active. All my uncles ditto. Ditto my father in law. They both doted on their grandkids.
Bernie Ecclestone had his last child in his 90s. His wife was no chicken either. I would imagine the child is at school now. Last I heard, bernie was still travelling the world. OK I know finances are different to Op but it's the zest for life that matters

Boris Johnson doesn't seem to have a problem that he's old enough to be his wife's father, but I suppose he's getting ready to trade her in for a newer model.

@Screamingabdabz Totally agree - asides from abstinence, a vasectomy is one of the most reliable forms of contraception with a miniscule failure rate. Far more reliable than the pill, the coil etc. Far less invasive and with less risk than female sterilisation.
Not long I'd had our daughter (husband's first and last), my husband booked himself in.
I agree with you that so many men are far too selfish to do so. And also likely to be "keeping their options open" if you get what I mean.

If he can produce 3 kids in 3 years I reckon he’s got lot of energy to love and support your children as he gets older too. A good dad has nothing to do with age , our own dad had 2 more children as an older dad and was a wonderful dad even during the teenage years . Ignore the negative and mean judgements of some on here!

My husband is 74 and I am 67 and we have a son who just turned 29. It will be tiring but like you an abortion wasn’t an option. Good luck with your pregnancy.

I was 37 and my XH was 50 when I had my firstborn. I had a second baby at 40. Age wasn’t a problem then and it isn’t now, 22 years later.

I had a 3rd baby 2 years ago at the age of 37 and my DH was 52.
It is what it is. Shes absolutely adorable and i cant imagine life without her.
Yes DH is an older father and thiswas a suprise 3rd with a big gap betwen her and our others.
I dont really think about it a great deal though. Id never have had an abortion.
Who knows how long DH will live. Hes pretty healthy right now.
My own dad died when i was quite young despite having me in his 20s. Theres no guarentee for anyone.
Id rather have a good dad who loved me and died a bit earlier than a shit dad whp lived to a 100.
You get what you get and you make the best of it.

Our youngest are 3 under 2 and tbh we didn't notice a difference but that's probably because we have a bunch more from 4 up love playing together going g to school together etc

Agree you should ignore the negativity op.

Oh ok, I'll give my children back then shall i?

OP I domt think people are being harsh, it’s just that it would be an understandable Q if your kids were 13,12 and 11 and now you have a surprise baby with a 50 year old dad, but it’s no different to when he was 48/49 - something doesn’t magically switch at 50, so the point of the Q is just confusing

I’m sure you’ll be absolutely fine as you already have 2 under 3s, so after the tough early 6-8 months, once the baby settles into a routine hopefully you’ll be able to sync up their routines a bit. Are you working? That’s the aspect that would be most difficult with three kids this age, but if you’ve taken a few years off that might make it feel easier

Why does he have to work longer?surely starting later means more savings and career progression before having kids. And op can work longer too. Weird thing to say. It might be great being retired and actually have time to see your kids and do school pick ups and get more involved than you can with a crazy full time job and commute.

Also, I don't really understand why @Walkyrie thinks having a parent in that stage of life is any easier for a 70 year old than a 40 year old.

Life just has its challenges.

Personally, I feel that, given the number of failed marriages and difficult family set ups children grow up in, having a parent who is still young and speedy in the father's race at school sports day is small compensation for parents not waiting until they are in the right relationship and relatively secure on several fronts before staring to produce. If that takes some people longer, it takes them longer.

I really don't grasp the whole "the younger your biology, the better the parent" attitude. There is nothing I am aware of to say children have better outcomes because their parents rushed into having them young. If anything, I'd have thought the contrary - and notwithstanding the ultimately small biological risks of older parenthood. The vast majority of children born to older parents have good outcomes.

Yes, I agree with this.

I don't see what the OP is asking that she isn't in as good or better position than the rest of us to answer.

I feel she is actually/subconsciously asking something else, but I'm not sure what ...