Pregnant at 34 with a 50-year-old husband, any experiences?

[Sinsin2026]

Hi i have just found out in pregnant i am 34 dh is 50!! We have 3 children all girls 11,2 and 1 years, it has come as a bit of shock and we have talked about it but for my dh he’s concerned with his age being 50 which is understandable he will support me whatever choice i make but termination for me isnt an option, i just want to know if anyone has been in this situation or children that have had older parents what was your experiences? Dh is an amazing father and yes its going to be super hard with 3 under 3 lol, am i over thinking all this or shall i look at this as a blessing! And yes i will w getting sterlised after this 😂

Congratulations.
There are some vile, nasty comments on this thread. People need to live a life instead of sitting being judgemental on mumsnet.
I assume you considered the age difference when you got together. It's just the 4th baby which has shocked you. He is obviously a very active man and we hope his good health continues. I know a couple in their 80s who are constantly on the go, let's hope he is like them.
It's pretty normal for couples, especially men, to become parents in their 40s nowadays. They tend to enjoy life before settling down and starting a family. I'm sure that you're going to meet quite a few older dads at the school gates. He won't be significantly older than other dads - just more fertile!
Older parents tend to have more patience than younger ones. They are less selfish.
I don't know where all those nasty comments about grandads come from. Young parents seem to be the ones in short supply at our local schools. There's also lots of grandparents at school pick up, they are all active people, full of fun.
You're going to have a busy few years ahead. However, when you look back in 10 years time you will realise what fun it all was.
Look after yourself. Sort out your contraception. Check out your finances for the next few years. Make time for your relationship too.
Good Luck.

You had your first child when you were 23, which is younger than most women. You had another at 32 then again at 33. You really don’t fall into the category of women who can’t conceive or women who are late in age to conceive. Did you plan this pregnancy?

I am in a same sex relationship Mandy became a mum again as I turned 50. My other children are adult. I am
careful with my health and luckily don’t feel differently than I did with me ones born in 20s/early 30s - especially as I didn’t do pregnancy or breastfeeding this time. I am very aware I will not see my youngest into mid adulthood. Well, there’s more certainty I won’t. My only caveat is that we will be financially planning so I can be retired for the teen years. I can do a teen again but not a teen and full time work again! I want to concentrate on home and family only.

It would be my worst nightmare if me and dp had a baby as he'd 50, however, I have a 26 yr old and a 21 yr old. I couldn't imagine going through the teenage years as I'm menopausal or with a 65 year old dp. But you're doing it already. As long as you have the financial means for 4 children and can support 3 at uni at the same time!

A lot of 65 year olds are not retired and are not on cruises. He could have had a vasectomy but didn’t, so if he’s going home to ‘hormonal teenagers’ that was his choice. There is no reason you should jump to it being a disaster. Perhaps he will love having a family to come home to at that age. 65 is no longer pipe and slippers and giving up on life.

You had your first at 23, and you’re still young, it’s not you who is late in age for children.

I know it can come across harsh online, but the reality is, parenting a newborn is difficult when you are in your 50s, parenting a teenager in your 60s etc.

Deleting cos didn't realise there was so many posts already.

Correct. It is a choice. God's choice. Let us not overestimate our role in what happens, right?

I’m pretty sure the OP isn’t claiming it was an immaculate conception. God, whoever that may be, had bugger all to do with 2 humans having unprotected sex.

No doubt they have discussed it, Stoic. I know many women who actually want to be the one sterilised, especially as the procedure is easier nowadays; I know I would want that, I like being in control of such things and not sure I would trust a vasectomy.

I’m the child of older parents 38 and 48. I wouldn’t recommend it I’m afraid. Make sure you both have tip top life insurance in place is my advice, especially if you’re a sahm reliant on his income.

I know of a man who had a child at 62, his third marriage, his first set of kids older than the 3rd wife… He didn't live long enough to see the child through primary school. So sad for the poor kid, now a pretty troubled teen. All because his ego said he wasn't an old man and he could still father a child…

What the fuck. He'll be 65, not 102.

3 teenage girls and a menopausal wife. 😂Fun for all the family.

Is this an immaculate conception?

God has nothing to do with it. (That's if you're someone who believes in God.)

Try egg and sperm meeting- that's what conception is.

you don't know that they haven't discussed this and this is what has been agreed between a married couple, both parties are responsible, not just female and not just male

just because he's older doesn't mean they don't have an equal relationship

He's 50 not 150.

I don''t consider your parents that old- especially the one aged 38.
My sister was born when my mum was 38.
My Mum is still going strong in her 90s.

What's the difference with him being a father at 50 compared to his late 40s?

Fucking hell 🙄 are you always this nice? Way to kick a pregnant woman when she's down.

OP you'll more than likely be fine. I was one of 3 under 4 and we had/have a great relationship, we were a little gang and played together all the time, at home and on holidays, we were never bored.

My best friend's dad was 52 when she arrived. She's now 37 and he's been a wonderful father, they still have a great relationship. He spent far more time with her and her sister when they were young because he retired when they left primary school, compared to my young dad who worked 70 hour weeks till I was 30.

Main question is do you both want this baby? It's ok to say yes or no.

Do you know the meaning of the 'Immaculate Conception' ? That term is bandied about wrongly so often. It has nothing to do with a child being conceived without sexual intercourse/by divine interception.

I suggest you google.

My mum didn't retire until 67 and she certainly doesn't go on cruises. Some people have strange notions of what older people do with their time.

65 is grandparent territory.
Statistically for someone born in 1960 their first child would have been born in 1984, and their first grandchild born in 2012. So on average a 65 year old will become a grandparent at age 52 and have a 13 year old grandchild.

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/median-ages-of-mothers-at-birth-1974-to-2023

Thanks so much for your input.

I apologise profusely for mixing up Imm Conception and Virgin Birth.

However, God has nothing to do with this pregnancy.
It comes down to two humans having sex, not using contraception or contraception failure

It will be ok. He is already a dad to a one year old and two year old, I assume he is a good dad to them and happy to be a father of a baby and toddler?

He will be almost exactly the same age when this one is born so I don’t think you have anything to worry about age-wise.

Congratulations.

He's 50.

Not 65.

There are plenty of men who become fathers at 50. In times gone by it was very normal for men to marry younger women and have children later in life. And many women carried on having children until the menopause.

It's only now with the availability of contraception that people have become so ageist over being a parent. Ironically when life expectancy has risen.

Fast forward, I know personally at least 3 men now in their 50s who became fathers with Wife No 2 at 50. No one told them it was wrong.

It's perhaps far better to have fewer years with a mature parent who is financially stable and able to handle being a parent, compared to a 22 year old who is still emotionally immature and doesn't have financial stability.

And not everyone fits the link to those stats.

Most of my friends became grandparents in their late 60s having had their own children in their mid 30s. I have friends pushing 70 who are still waiting to become grandparents.

No one would bat an eyelid at those ages of mother and father where I live. It would be well within the curve of parent ages round here.