Pregnant at 34 with a 50-year-old husband, any experiences?

[Sinsin2026]

Hi i have just found out in pregnant i am 34 dh is 50!! We have 3 children all girls 11,2 and 1 years, it has come as a bit of shock and we have talked about it but for my dh he’s concerned with his age being 50 which is understandable he will support me whatever choice i make but termination for me isnt an option, i just want to know if anyone has been in this situation or children that have had older parents what was your experiences? Dh is an amazing father and yes its going to be super hard with 3 under 3 lol, am i over thinking all this or shall i look at this as a blessing! And yes i will w getting sterlised after this 😂

It's just slightly confusing as you have a 2 and 1 year old so his age will make no more difference now than it did with them! What kind of contraception are you using? Entirely up to you if you feel you have the mental, physical and emotional resources to have this baby and also up to you to assess the potential impact on your existing children, who should absolutely be your priority.

I would love to have had more children, so I would see it as a blessing, unexpected as it may have been.

Harsh but also true. OP is also a little disingenuous going on about it being a shock when she already has 2 under 3.

Anyway, up to you if this is what you want but I sure know I would not!

There’s this thing called contraception which comes in many different forms. If you definitely don’t want more children then you make sure you’re careful.

You have a one year old so your husband being 50 now is not much different than when you had your last baby and he was 49 🤷🏼‍♀️

Congratulations. 3 under 3 plus a preenager - it will be crazy and chaotic and joyful and if you’re both up for it then wonderful.

No one knows what lies around the corner. My dad died just after he turned 50, my sibling and I were early 20s. So not having a kid because he might not be around forever doesn’t hold - anything could happen. Live for today x

me and my partner have older teenage children from previous relationships and we found each other later on in life. we have a 1 year old child together he is 51 & im 38! i do worry sometimes about his health later on in life but that can happen to anyone at any time even someone a lot younger. we wont be having any more children because i was a high risk pregnancy plus the stress of it all.
if i was in your position OP i wouldnt have another baby considering the ones you have already had xx

I kind of get why people are being a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️ because you do both already have two toddlers so his age has surely come up as a discussion before now?
My own experience is that we finally had our miracle rainbow baby when I was 33 and DP was 53 and it has been a learning curve for both of us. DP has an adult daughter and his experience of running around after a toddler at 28 years old is vastly different nearly 30 years later, but he's loves being a dad and our daughter adores him.

However, he doesn't want another whilst I'm open to the idea, so he is on a waiting list for a vasectomy, because it is his responsibility to ensure he doesn't have more children if he doesn't want them.

Good luck with your pregnancy OP, I hope everything goes well for you all ❤️

I think if hes a good father that matters more than his age.

Would it be less worrying if he was 40 maybe but hes already had a child at 48 and 49 so one more is just one more

Youve decided you want this baby and his age shouldnt change that or impact the decison.

I wouldnt worry about it. You expereince will be your own and itll be closer to your experience with your elder 3 than any expereince anyone on here could tell you about. Congratulations

Your husband is only one year older than when you had the one year old. It's not a shock pregnancy if you're in your early 30s and you've already got two babies. It's just what happens if you're a bit careless about contraception! The issue is whether three kids under three is something you both actually want. It'll be hard work. But if your husband didn't want a third baby, he should have tried harder not to conceive one tbh.

I had a neighbour who was early 60s with twins in the year below my DD at primary school. He was a lovely dad, he was retired and used his time to care for the twins, he did all school drop offs and pick ups and was very hands on, taking the twins to clubs / swimming etc. His younger DW worked full time and seemed very career minded. They were a really happy family.

OP, sorry you’re feeling depressed by the responses you’ve received. I think the problem is in the way you phrased your original post, as if the main issue was your DH being 50, when obviously you both decided you were OK with his age when you had your last two DC.

I think your main issue will be coping with 3 DC under 3! Best of luck!

OP, mumsnet is harsh.

It is not that unusual in my social circle for Fathers to be this age. My H is 57 and we have a year 5 and year 8. I know men in their 70s who run hill races. Mumsnet has this weird idea that being in your 50s or 60s is the same as being practically dead. That you are feeble, tired and incapable. But there is agency there. You can choose to keep fit and active and plenty of people do. You don't have to give up and live in an armchair once you hit 60.

I would however suggest that you have a high level of life insurance taken out against both his death and yours (life insurance to cover your mortgage and also a large lump sum or/and monthly life insurance pay out) I know a terrifying number of Mothers and Fathers who have died in their 40s and 50s. All of them fit and healthy. I heard someone describe the 50s as sniper alley and I'd agree except I think it starts in the 40s.

End of the day, it is what it is. So enjoy it! Do get your contraception and life insurance sorted out though. With so many young children you need to make sure if the worse happened, the other is financially protected.

My DH was 45 and 46 when we had our too. Like you I suffered with infertility. Mine are now 29 and 30 and DH is 74. I would say the he has significantly slowed down now but at 65 he was willingly running round after our two. My DH wasn't a kicking a football round kind of guy but there are groups for that.
You'll be fine and the children will keep him young. Enjoy your pregnancy and new baby.

I'm not really sure it will be that different to having a baby a year ago?

Congratulations and tell him to get snipped.

It probably wont be easy but since you already have 3 children, one more will just add to the joy.
As my wonderful aunt told me when I got pregnant at 17 and my own mother was saying I had ruined my life, 'Children are a blessing, and this child will be loved, so nothing is ruined.'

There’s a huge difference in the age at which people become parents or grandparents in different sections of society, so you’ll get a range of opinions. To my mind, at 34 and 50, you’d be an average to younger aged mother and a slightly older than average father, so nothing out of the ordinary. I have several friends who became first time fathers at 45/46, for example. Age can be a huge advantage in terms of financial stability and flexibility as well.

No judgement from me. Just try not to harbour regrets. Move forewards and make the best of it. To be fair there are not too many people in your situation for the purposes of comparison, it is quite an unusual scenario.

Whay is your or his concern? I doubt becoming a dad when you're 50 is massive different from when you're 49.
Is this actually the amount of small children you have than your husbands age?

These types of questiosb are usually asked when ther is a suprise pregnancy and a 50yo is becoming a girst time dar or their older children are in their 20's. But since you have small children, I can't really see how he was not old last year, but is old now.

Congrats on the pregnancy, I’m sure you’ll make it work.
Just be sure to carve out time for your eldest daughter. She could easily be overlooked by the pressing needs of 3 much younger siblings. If she’s 11 , she’ll have the secondary school transition period to cope with, not to mention puberty, hormones, friendship woes, exams, etc. Do make sure that both you and your husband spend quality time with her, together and individually.

Shock! I'm more shocked you managed to have sex 3 times and n the last 2 years with all those children 😂😂😂

Some of the responses on here are so judgemental, unkind and unnecessary.

OP if you’re happy to continue with the pregnancy then do it.

You can get amazing older fathers. You can get amazing younger fathers. You can also get terrible older and younger fathers.

The only advice I’d give is for you to use contraception and for him to have a vasectomy.

My ex husband is 14 years older than me
i had my second daughter when I was 35 and he was 49
my daughters are now 26 and 29
he has been a good dad, hands on and very involved.
His health isn’t great now but is still very present in their lives
i don’t see this as being a big issue!
good luck!

Not excluding your older child, but going from 2 little ones is not really much difference. The extra toddler doesnt make a huge difference. They fit in to the already established routine and your not so worried about newborn stuff. You've done it all. My youngest was bottle fed and and lifted and fed at 8am every morning which allowed me to then do school routine and very quickly established baby's routine as well. Good luck days are long but they will be up before you know it. 50 is no age for a dad. Tell hubby to get on with it keep him fit 😂. Good luck

If hes a good father to your other two very young children then I don't see why him being 50 instead of 48/49 makes a shred of difference when it comes to age?? What specifically are you worried about?

Age aside, 3 under 3 sounds very very hard work...for the next 18 years. Personally for me I would not have another at this stage of life, but if you both want to continue the pregnancy and have the financial means then you'll make it work.

Was he equally as concerned when he was 48 and 49? I don’t see the difference another year makes. He is already an old dad to a 2 and a 1 year old. You’re asking for people’s experiences, but you have your own experience. He’s going to be in his mid to late 60s still parenting teens, which sounds horrendous.

Use contraception? Vasectomy? If you don’t want to keep having kids and you won’t have a termination, you both need to be more responsible. I feel sorry for your 11 year old in the next few years. Poor kid.