Ex expects extra child care for holiday, but I cannot manage

[Ref5217]

I’m interested in opinions please. I have my children every other weekend and Thursday evenings for food. My ex has told me, not asked, but told me that I am having my children Thursday to Monday so she can go on holiday with her husband. I have told her I cannot do this, due to work Friday and Monday. she has told me that it’s down to me to arrange childcare for the Thursday and Sunday nights. I know I will collect the children from school on Thursday and when I go to take them home, she would have gone on holiday. What can I do about this? I’ve told her repeatedly I can’t do it, but once they are with me, they will end up being with me because they have nowhere else to go!

You hardly see your kids. Make it work.

Welcome to parenthood. You can take annual leave or unpaid emergency leave or arrange childcare. It's school holiday. There's plenty of clubs with wraparound care. It's totally normal to have to sort childcare for your children so you can work. Is this really the first time you've ever done it?

You’ll be ok. Thank her for covering 6/7 days a week and then just make it work. Like parents have to.

Do you never have them in the holidays? Why do you have them so little? Time to be a parent

Use some annual leave.

they are your children, and you do a lot less than 50%. Which means your ex wife either manages her work around childcare or works part time or not at all because it’s too tricky with the children and both of those mean you absolutely should have to flex to do more parenting sometimes. She’s not your wife anymore and her taking on all the load because it’s not convenient for you is 100% wife work, why should this woman who is mother of your children do this for you? Step up and work it out.

In your area. Other areas have different dates. That’s always been the case. Some don’t break up until Thursday.

Firstly you can’t always just book AL in many workplaces at such short notice for peak dates. Easter has long been booked in our team. Has she just told you about this holiday? As yes you do need to step up and do more, you have minimal time with your kids, but you can’t expect someone to plan something with very short notice. I guess you’re going to have to find a solution, like mum has to when kids are sick and she has to go to work.

@Ref5217 you should be doing half the childcare during holidays without being asked!

You are entitled to holiday allowance, this is what it is for when you have children.

Ffs. Sort your shit out. Pathetic.

what happens when you go on holiday? Do you arrange child care for the days you’re away or do you leave that to your ex to organise?

Then he’ll have to go sick on this occasion.

Then discuss with his Ex how he plans to help cover the school holidays in the future so they both clearly know where they stand and he can book it off work with plenty of notice.

Come on now it’s not fucking rocket science is it. Your options are:
Book annual leave.
Find a holiday club.
Find a childminder.

You’re a parent ffs. PARENT YOUR CHILDREN.

God forbid, if your ex passed away, what would you do then?

Why do you have your children so little in the first place? Surely half of the school holidays is standard when you see them so little in term time?

What is it with men who think having children is like looking after the school hamster, just every now and then, as it suits.

FFS...

Looking after your own child is called parenting, not child care.

Which schools aren't closed over Easter weekend?

Exactly

Yes she should have given you more notice then a few days if you don’t usually have them - that’s good manners

equally they are your kids and if this weekend then Easter and prob off the Fri and Monday

if not and working , that’s unusual but then arrange child care - take off sick (naughty to lie but 48hr stomach bug) or parental leave

She may have been unreasonable if she gave you very short notice but given you’ve said you’ve repeatedly told her you can’t do it, I suspect you may have known about this for a while and she’s chased you up a few times.

I thought this too!!
if You have them for the weekend, starting from Thursday is only one extra day.

annual leave? Most people live like this once they’ve had kids…. Sure you’ll manage!

She’s told you repeatedly? It sounds as if you had time to sort things when she first said about it. Theses are your children. You barely see them. Do you use up all your holidays to care for them? Do you take time off when they’re ill? She does all of this. They are supposed to be 50% your responsibility. Darn right she wants some time to herself. You get plenty for yourself.

It doesn’t sound like short notice. He clearly has only just realised she isn’t going to take no for an answer.

You've quite rightly had your arse handed to you on here. To have your children so little time and have the temerity to moan about 2 days is a complete piss take. I don't blame your ex for making you do it. She deserves a break after doing basically all of the parenting of both your children. God can you seriously hear yourself?

Are we talking about this Friday and Monday, like bank holiday Friday/Monday? Appreciate many people work those, but many don’t, of course you do 🙄

Anyway, you barely have those children, what do you do with all your annual leave? I very much doubt your ex has sprung this on you, given Easter is a very popular holiday period in most of the western world, she will likely have had to book it sometime ago, and probably told you at the time.

We are only getting one story here.