Partner wants me to stop cosleeping

[IdontEvenKnowAnymore2]

So our little boy is now almost 2.5years and I have been co-sleeping with him since he was born.
My partner does not live with us.
He says our boy needs to sleep in his own bed as the last time he had him our boy seemed to need body contact to sleep and that he needs to grow into a man, boys and girls need different things things etc ...
I can't understand how giving a toddler the security he needs at this age will impact his development into a man.
What am I missing?

waking up to little bodies at your feet… they weren’t allowed to wake you up.. 😑 you do realise that it’s also your job to parent at night and not just during the day.

You do what you want and what you feel comfortable with. Nothing wrong with cosleeping at all. Your DP doesn’t get a view as he doesn’t live with you.

Nah he’ll go when he’s ready do what you want not what he wants

Absolutely nothing wrong with cosleeping whatsoever and my boy went into his own bed absolutely fine at 4

Oh I love the irony of the world losing their shit and millions crying over a monkey who is so desperate for comfort that he’s sleeping with a soft toy but oh no not a 2 year old children, they need to “learn to be independent and to link sleep cycles on their own”. OP If you want to keep cosleeping and it’s working for you then continue. If your partner said he was finding it difficult to settle him and was concerned about that I’d have a bit of sympathy but no apparently the 2 year old needs to learn to “be a man”. He’s being ridiculous. Last time I checked adults including men also liked sleeping next to other people!

He should not be feeding twice a night at 2.5.

He's a toddler, not a baby.

He is 2. A toddler. Not a baby.

That doesn't happen. That isn't a thing. I had my own room, and a double bed from the age of 2 on, as did my sister, yet never had an issue later sharing a bed on vacation. Why are you making up fake issues?

It absolutely does drastically increase the rates of smothering though!! Happens all the time with cosleepers.

They did parent during the night.

Most people, including babies and children, don't get enough sleep. Not getting enough sleep is a leading cause of many different health issues, physical and mental. It is your duty, therefore, as a good parent, to ensure you do everything you can to help your children learn how to sleep well.

I co slept with my mum until I was about 10, and I am very independent, a little too independent.

You do you, I can imagine you and your toddler enjoy co sleeping, so why stop now

Child's needs (esp emotional) should ALWAYS come first. Never, ever be persuaded otherwise - unless they are 25 and still wanting to be breastfed and bedshare 😜

Do what feels right as a mother. What’s best for your child. Co sleeping is natural and normal. He’s not going to turn into a girl sleeping next to his mother.

We will have to agree to disagree. I don’t see it as good parenting. It’s the worst thing I can imagine for my child to
feel scared and basically have to deal
with it themselves because I’m too selfish to wake up and comfort them. I feel genuine horror at the thought of and you see it and think it’s fantastic.
We are just two very different people and there is no middle ground. I don’t have the time to continue trading insults with you 😂

Try to wean off feeding at night. Have a sippy cup of water nearby. Then DS can drink when he thirsts but his teeth will not be bathed in milk.
Swapping to water is also beneficial for when DS sleeps over with his father.
His Dad is ready for his own sleep space back.
That is entirely fine.

Suggest that DS's Dad has a cot nearby. Your partner can then walk over in the night and help DS drink water and check his temperature. Your DS needs time and patient pats on his back while her learns to sleep in his own cot.
Sometimes white noise (ocean waves, wind etc) and a red string of light are acomfort..

Yes he is now a toddler and so what? Every family should do what’s right for them. People are in such a rush to force children to do things which adults generally hate to do themselves for parental convenience. We will never ever agree. You hear these things about sleep training and seem to think they are amazing and fantastic and I hear them and feel genuine horror. There is no middle ground here. 😂

Your insinuation is that the children are not being comforted this way, when the poster made it clear that they were. Just being near their parents was enough without having to bed share.

The parenting was recognising that they needed company at those moments so we made that possible in a way that did not disrupt the whole family - children are part of a family.

The not waking us up was a challenge that they took with a smile - "See if you can manage not to wake us up!" - and in the morning they would be jumping up and down happily saying "I did it! You did not wake up!"

Of course it was not a threat - we all set our children little challenges - "See if you can put your own socks on."

They knew that we were there and on their side, but they also learned that people need sleep and that they need to respect that.

They look back on this ritual with a smile. They have grown up sociable and respectful of others' needs.

The way the world is losing empathy and getting colder and colder to children is scary. We want them to be kids and adults at the same time. They should be kids enough to have no rights, opinions nor thought process and adults enough to disturb no one, to be self sufficient.

This is the kind of hyperbole is the reason Mumsnet has a reputation as being utterly toxic.

The most concerning thing about what he said is the idea that boys and girls need different things in terms of love/ closeness/ contact. What absolute tripe and that is part of what is feeding into the whole toxic masculinity culture in our society.

There's nothing wrong with a sensible conversation about co-sleeping if it's genuinely impacting his life and ability to sleep when he's looking after his son. (Although I'd still be very much of the opinion that you should carry on if it still feels right for you!)

But I'd be very wary about these sort of opinions of 'what boys need'.

Do you mean when you were 2 1/2 ?