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MIL over stepping boundaries

180 replies

CMC13 · 05/12/2025 14:48

Looking on opinions on what you would do. My partners mum has been told multiple times no kissing the babies. There's been a lot of falling out over this and other things with her manipulating my partner by trying to get her own way. The girls are 5 months (4 corrected). I don't want kissing with them being young this time of year with rsv and the flu around. She came over in the week after having a massive falling out over the weekend (over text with my partner) he said he would let the dust settle for a while and for once he was actually taking my side and supporting me. Then she came over because she wanted to 3 days later....she then starts kissing the babies feet. She knows we've said NO kissing whether it be anywhere on the body! I told my partner she's still crossing boundaries and his reply was "It was only the feet". Yes but once she thinks she can get away with one thing, it'll be the face again next. My family dont kiss them anywhere as I've asked them not to. I've had enough of all the arguments and her not taking me seriously. She knows I have postpartum/health anxiety and social anxiety so dont like conflict. What would you do in this situation? I feel like she's only going to get worse if she can get away with small things. I feel backed in a corner with it all, like I have no control on protecting my babies and like I have a constant black cloud over my head.

OP posts:
TheAutumnCrow · 07/12/2025 12:17

Ritaskitchen · 07/12/2025 12:06

What your brain is telling you isn’t true. Our brains can lie to us. It’s totally harmless you MIL kissing your babies feet.
An medication like citalopram can be really good for anxiety.

This MiL has a toxic combination of recurrent cold sores and baby-body boundary creep.

thepariscrimefiles · 07/12/2025 17:34

livelovelough24 · 05/12/2025 19:03

Posts like this make me really sad. I have three grown children, and I hope so much to live long enough to see grandchildren someday. I dream of the day I’ll get to hold them, hug them, and breathe in that sweet newborn scent. It would break my heart if I weren’t allowed to be near them.

Don't be so melodramatic! If you can't accept the reasonable boundaries that your children and their partners put in place to keep their babies safe, e.g. no kissing on the lips, no kissing at all with cold sores, you would only have yourself to blame if you were kept away from them.

If you are kind and respectful to the parents of your grandchildren and follow their rules, you shouldn't have any problems.

However, your hyperbolic language such as 'breaking your heart' if you aren't given unlimited access to your new born grandchildren doesn't bode well.

thepariscrimefiles · 07/12/2025 17:37

Freeme31 · 05/12/2025 19:10

OP im thinking your s young mum or just not very mature. What happened to be kind. Karma will get you double you must know yhis

And I'm thinking that you are deliberately being really unkind to a vulnerable new mother so maybe you should be worried about karma more than OP who is just trying to protect her children.

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thepariscrimefiles · 07/12/2025 17:52

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 05/12/2025 23:40

You mention the word 'boundaries' all the time. You're coming across as immature and someone who has spent too much time watching woke stuff on IG and tic toc rather than getting some common sense in you.

Unclench.

You're the embodiment of a Mumsnet cliché! Since when has protecting prematuure babies from picking up avoidable infections that can be very dangerous to small babies with compromised immune systems become 'woke'? I bet you long for the good old days when a bit of common sense and elbow grease would protect children from polio, measles, mumps and rubella better than any new-fangled vaccine.

Giddykiddy · 08/12/2025 11:07

thepariscrimefiles · 07/12/2025 17:37

And I'm thinking that you are deliberately being really unkind to a vulnerable new mother so maybe you should be worried about karma more than OP who is just trying to protect her children.

Are you a sock poppet to echo the OP's views Paris?

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