Who should share a room

[Anotherboymum]

Looking to find out on who you think should share a room. My partner has 2 children from a previous relationship boy 12 and girl 11 who both stay with us once a fortnight. We have a boy 3 together and a baby due in march (gender is currently unknown). Baby will sleep with us for the first 6 months then be moving into a bedroom.

My question is who should share bedrooms in this situation, do we let the 3 year old and baby share bearing in mind the other 2 bedrooms will be empty most of the time, or do we get the 12 and 3 year old to share bearing in mind that the 12 year old will only be staying once a fortnight and can have the room during the day (all 3 year old toys are downstairs) and once we've put the 3 year old to bed he can use our room until bedtime.

I'm in 2 minds about it as it's seems silly to have 2 bedrooms empty half the time while the 2 children who are there full time share, but I also think the 3 year old and baby are a better age to share a bedroom. What are your thoughts?

He's there once a fortnight, why does he need to be in your room until bedtime once DS is asleep?

Yes get the boys to share in the largest room, then baby has next largest and DD the smallest

Nonsense. A 3 yo and an newborn don't need their own rooms. We have 3 kids in a 3 bed house. The twins share. We didn't plan 3, but you can't just keep one in until you can afford a 4 bed house so they share. No one is damaged. No childhood is ruined. They are poor children living a life of sorrow. They're siblings sharing a bedroom like millions of kids across the world and down the ages.

Didn't dad challenge her moving away? Couldn’t you have had them stay with you and not move schools etc and mum have them one day a fortnight, especially as you have more room

It sounds as if you’re a lovely step mum, trying to do the best by your step children, as well as your own. Personal opinion is that your step children need to have their own rooms. Your younger children will be just fine sharing a few years yet, even if they are different sexes. We had three (m,m,f) sharing when they were small. Long term you might need to rethink, and either move/ extend or adapt a living space, but there’s no huge rush for that. Just make sure that your step children know that they continue to be important to you, and that that hasn’t changed just because they’ve moved further away.

Why should they share if they live in that house full time? The older 2 are only there 24 nights a year so they don’t need their own room. I think its odd that people on mumsnet think it’s a crime for older children to share even if it’s the right thing to do. If you live in a 3 bed then of course the twins should share. I think you might’ve quoted the wrong person because I’m not against sharing rooms.

They need separate rooms because that's what B/G siblings need. Teenagers need a space to call their own, where they can leave things and it not be touched. A place to chill out / do homework.

Mum isn't providing that so dad should.

Having their own rooms might make them want to stay more. Sharing a 'spare' room is not something close family do.

I was commenting on the NEED their own room. They don't need it. They can share with their half sibling or each other. MN is obsessed with kids not sharing so perhaps your wording wasn't quite what you meant and I interpreted it literally.

The 3 year old shouldn't be sharing with a baby. Babies shouldn't be left unsupervised with toddlers! So dangerous!

Have the boys share (it's only 1 night a fortnight) and then reassess if baby is a girl / as baby gets older.
Or keep baby in travel cot in your room on the 1 night a fortnight their step siblings visit until they are old enough to share with the toddler.

Each child has a bedroom, decorated and furnished for them. Older kids get double beds. When the stepchildren are not there, parents sleep in one of their rooms. For the one night a fortnight they stay, parents have a blow up mattress in the lounge. All adults really need is a bed and you’d have the same one for all but two nights a month.

Parents caused the problem, so parents can be the solution.