Who allows their child to use TikTok?

[BatsInSummer]

I've never understood why anyone would.
The very premise makes it so dangerous for kids. They only have one childhood.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c708v7qkeg1o

My teens have it, they were allowed at 13.

The older one (15) uses it more, the 13 year old has it to see things his sister sends him, but doesn't use it much more than that.

Nobody should let a young child use it, but too many parents don't give a crap.
I know a couple of people who let their kids use it at 10.

Mine do. They love the dances. Like many teenagers though, mine are more bored of tiltok now than I am. Their generation has grown up with phones, my eldest now through her own choice rarely uses it, they aren’t the novelty they once were.

Yes, 10 is too young. I do check both of ours periodically, and update the keywords/phrases that are banned. Based on the FYP of my daughter, she mainly looks at videos of her friends, cooking unhealthy desserts and rowing.

But from her screen time use, only goes on it every few days or so. Snapchat is their main communication now.

I was pleased to see she doesn't publish anything per se, she makes the lip sync videos etc but they're all in draft, and/or sent to particular people.

My 17 year old ('I'm an adult in less than three months Mum') has it and my 16yo has just got it. Both have been well told to not send nudes to anyone and are sensible with technology. My 13yo does not and, as I did with the older two, I will discourage for as long as possible.

No way at 12, and I’ll be holding out as long as possible.

I’ve banned Roblox since reading in the Guardian about users being able to add cartoon characters performing sexual acts for all ages to see.

Just discovered DS has been listening to sexy podcast stories on Amazon Music after bedtime too - I naively thought having the explicit filter turned on was enough. So I need to figure out a better way for him to listen to music - will possibly restrict him to BBC Sounds or something.

And also wasn’t aware til recently that anyone can access social media type feeds like ‘daily TikToks’ and all sorts on WhatsApp’s ‘updates’ tab - it’s essentially a dopamine hit feed. So also tempted to that and going back to basic text message.

All this despite having parental settings on his phone and every account/app possible. I had wanted to encourage tech skills and communication in a balanced way, but it’s getting harder and harder to do that when companies don’t shut all these back doors down.

These companies don’t have our children’s best interests at heart.

I only let my 16 yo get it after her GCSEs. We will make our 14 yo wait too but she hasn’t asked for it.

How are you going to stop people sending nudes to them or posting things of them though?

Just this morning I innocently across a channel on YouTube called the Foot Guy, full of videos of women’s feet taken in public places, I’m betting without any consent.

My 13 year old has it and enjoys it and we send each other funny videos of dogs and children. He has filters in place on his so he is limited to what he sees. Same with you tube. I’ve said this on here before but had to speak to a policeman about bullying and he told me their biggest problem is Snapchat. After that conversation I’ve never let the 13 year old have it. He manages fine.

None of my kids have any social media, i have said when they are 16 they can use it but not before, its quite nice cause i get emails from school marked ‘important information for parents’ and generally its about keep kids safe online etc but i don’t have to worry about that, my kids aren’t even allowed a smart phone till they hit high school xx

The money makers from these apps DO NOT CARE what your child is exposed to.
I feel this is what a whole generation will be remembered for, in terms of parenting.

Have you read the BBC article? They put the filters in place too ..

My neighbour's child had it at 8!
I couldn't let my kids next door to play after she started showing them things on her phone.

My child is 12 and has a Pinwheel phone.
No WhatsApp, no Snapchat, no YouTube, no internet browser. He can text and play games I have approved.
He has an internet browser on a laptop at home, with full filters via his Google account and full inappropriate content blocking via BT.
I've also blocked Roblox for the same reasons as a parent above.
Even if parents think they are using the TikTok filters, loads of awful stuff can get through. TikTok themselves have admitted the filters are only 90% effective.
Why even support such a poisonous platform? A platform that makes money from exploiting young people? The actual business model is to prioritise engagement over safety. Their own algorithms actively promote unhealthy and dangerous content to children, and engaging with the platform in any way, is lining the pockets of people who choose to harm children.

Consider a Pinwheel when it's time. Worth every penny.

Do you really know everything your 13yr old views on social media? I very much doubt it unless they’re only allowed a device with you continuously looking over their shoulder!

I dont limit my kids Internet or screen use at all. I talk frankly about the things they will see on there instead. One of my kids once mentioned to a school staff member about what he saw on her open Instagram account which was in her full name and they tried to blame him for seeing it rather than her for having it widely accessible.

I told her that as a midwife, I keep mine locked down so service users can't find or add me and she should do the same. She said kids shouldn't be on there and I said that people should mind what they put up for the whole public to see because parents judge too.

She made her account private after that.

Those of you who don’t allow your DCs to access social media can be sure that they are accessing it when your backs are turned.

SM is how DCs communicate with each other.

You’d be better off teaching your DCs how to use SM safely.

I guess there’s no data yet, but I do remember that when i went to uni in the nineties, all the kids who had been denied alcohol/parties etc were the ones that went wild. Will it be the same? I don’t know. But I do know that my dd 17, who hasn’t really been denied anthing phone wise from me (out of technical ignorance on my part and had other things to prioritise), although was born at the time when no one had phones till end y6, has made her own decision to put it down. It goes down at 8pm on a school night, and she only really uses it for Netflix. All her own decisions.

Not mine, they are allowed no social media before 16. No Snapchat, no TikTok, WhatsApp groups only with close friends. And no they aren’t using it behind our backs. I have a tech background and it’s all locked down.

I’ve seen some grim stuff. DD’s friend was posting inappropriate photos on TikTok at 10. With all sorts of weirdos following her, screen names like ‘dirtyoldbugger1959’ or whatever. And her parents, sisters and cousins following her too. 😳 No bloody way. Not on my watch.

My dc don’t have unlimited access to phones. They do things like play outside still. Dd goes hiking and wild camping and bike packing with Dh. She goes out with her friends and builds dens in the woods and they ride their bikes over jumps they made. Better than TikTok.

How is my child using social media without me knowing it?

I think that's just anecdotal. I went 'wild' with alcohol and parties and I wasn't denied either.
My friend with stricter parents also went 'wild'.
What we actually had in common was a lack of purpose and low self esteem.
I'm not going to let my kids use dangerous and addictive social media, in the hope that in makes them sensible users in the long run.
Addictive behaviours can develop at any age, but they tend to have trauma as a common denominator, not protective parenting.

Nope, my phone is linked to theirs through family link, i get a notification when they download a new app and can see what apps they are using and for how long etc, my son downloaded tiktok once and 5 mins later it was deleted from his phone, if they moan i remind them they have contract phones with unlimited text and calls for a reason, don’t need SM to contact their friends xx

What you do is make it an easily accessible taboo.

I don't understand - I should let a child access pornographic and violent content so it's not an easily accessible taboo?
Some things should be taboo.
I don't let them smoke either.

Added - I do understand where you are coming from, but the internet is a seething mass of grim. Well beyond anything that you, as a well meaning parent, can prepare them for. With other areas of life, your philosophy may well work. But the internet and social media are too big and too powerful. You can't prepare them for seeing something horrendous when they still have plasticky brains. This is why childhood trauma is so much harder to fix that adult trauma.