Active discussions

Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Who allows their child to use TikTok?

143 replies

BatsInSummer · 04/10/2025 08:32

I've never understood why anyone would.
The very premise makes it so dangerous for kids. They only have one childhood.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c708v7qkeg1o

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
BatsInSummer · 04/10/2025 14:02

LoftyRobin · 04/10/2025 12:57

Instagram has an age limit for your own account. He found her via mine. Either way, if you don't want people to find you, use your.privacy settings.

Show quote history

@TalulaHalulah what is his age?

Accidentally quoted @LoftyRobin

OP posts:
Easterchicken · 04/10/2025 15:21

While I understand your view and your point etc you don't half come across as a judgy mare

Emmz1510 · 04/10/2025 15:25

TartanMammy · 04/10/2025 10:57

My children both watch but don't post, I do too. I check on both and neither of their algorithms are showing anything inappropriate.

Ds1 is mostly gaming, football and golf content.

Ds2 is gaming, and funny shorts of people falling over and cute animals and the like (think modern day you've been framed).

I looks at their fyp and search histories etc and the worse I've seen is a bit of bad language which they will hear at school anyway. Absolutely be cautious, make sure you know what content your childcare consuming but no need to ban it outright if used properly.

same here x

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
Britanniarulesthewaves · 04/10/2025 15:39

I think being allowed it after GCSE’s makes sense.
I know some primary aged children (yr5/6) that have it and find it absolutely mental how any parent could allow it. I heavily judge allowing it before 14 even if they ‘check’ it.

MatronPomfrey · 04/10/2025 16:59

I have a 13 year old and 11 year old. Neither have smart phones or social media. They have an iPad each that is used at home and checked regularly. Basic Nokias to use as phones.

N4ish · 04/10/2025 17:11

Britanniarulesthewaves · 04/10/2025 15:39

I think being allowed it after GCSE’s makes sense.
I know some primary aged children (yr5/6) that have it and find it absolutely mental how any parent could allow it. I heavily judge allowing it before 14 even if they ‘check’ it.

Same. I stopped allowing my 9 year old to go to one friend’s house when I found out the girl already has a smartphone. To me that’s a safeguarding issue and not something I want my child to be around.

youalright · 04/10/2025 17:13

I did and then took it away as she ended up on the mh algorithm and diagnosed herself with allsorts and started self harming. Its gone and her mh has improved and no longer self harms.

DirtyDancing · 04/10/2025 17:37

Christ no. I don’t have it either. Absolute full of shit. It’s not just the pornography (and the light porn that’s on there, that the algorithms miss- trust me) it’s the eating disorders, references to domestic violence, and addiction to shopping/ dopamine hits that it gives. I could go on. None of us need exposure to it

Boohoo76 · 04/10/2025 17:39

No. Our 15 year old has requested it on a number of occasions but we will not allow it. Our 12 year old has no interest in social media whatsoever.

Skybluepinky · 04/10/2025 17:49

Only if your an idiot you’d allow it.

TalulaHalulah · 04/10/2025 21:16

BatsInSummer · 04/10/2025 14:02

@TalulaHalulah what is his age?

Accidentally quoted @LoftyRobin

Edited
Show quote history

equivalent of what I think is year 11 in England but with a young birthday.
I don’t want to put his exact age.

Unsuurisweird · 04/10/2025 21:20

Avie29 · 04/10/2025 09:51

Nope, my phone is linked to theirs through family link, i get a notification when they download a new app and can see what apps they are using and for how long etc, my son downloaded tiktok once and 5 mins later it was deleted from his phone, if they moan i remind them they have contract phones with unlimited text and calls for a reason, don’t need SM to contact their friends xx

Show quote history

Um you know that was to watch something he shouldn’t be watching then to get rid of it so you didn’t see right? He probably does it constantly. It’s a known thing kids do to get around parent restrictions. Did you think it was because in 5 mins he made the sensible decision that TikTok wasn’t for him 🤣

Unsuurisweird · 04/10/2025 21:27

Working in child protection I feel strongly about this. I don’t want to be outing but I work in an area that deals with children who’ve been lured into misogynist content and realms.

And believe me, these were normal kids before they…weren’t. TikTok and its ilk are dangerous for young people and any adult that thinks otherwise is just misinformed. Please protect your kids.

Just to add, most of the parents ‘had no idea’, ‘trusted their kids’ or ‘monitored them’

dontmalbeconme · 04/10/2025 21:28

I do, but they're in their 20s, so I don't really have any say! I think they'd all be pretty horrified if I started using it. Honestly, they just mock it really. Not for under 16s, I'd say.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 04/10/2025 21:40

My eldest is 11, and I think both insta/tiktok have an age rating of 13, don’t they? She has asked as her friend has Snapchat, but I’ve said no, and we’ll revisit the conversation at 13, but I can’t see it happening to be honest.
something I have done though is I came across a lovely TikTok account about a woman and her two rabbits. It was lovely, and I knew my 8 year old would love it. So I followed her, and every couple of days me and my 8 year old sit down together and watch anything she’s uploaded.

RaspberryRipple2 · 04/10/2025 21:40

My 12yo says she won’t ever get TikTok as she knows what dangerous content is on there from school and she doesn’t want to risk seeing that. She will get Snapchat for the filters when she is 13 (I have it for this as well which my 2 dc access for fun), but says she won’t ever use it for messaging - again they have been taught at school about its more nefarious uses and I also tell her about news stories where men have used Snapchat to access and sexually abuse children. Surely education about the dangers is better than an outright ban that the child doesn’t understand? I realise not all children would react in the same way to this sort of thing though - but one genuine story about this should be enough to prevent most girls ever replying to strangers on there? In itself, it isn’t harmful.

TeenLifeMum · 04/10/2025 21:41

No but I let them have Pinterest then learned it now has videos so I lost any moral high ground.

bonkerspeeps · 04/10/2025 21:43

arethereanyleftatall · 04/10/2025 08:38

Mine do. They love the dances. Like many teenagers though, mine are more bored of tiltok now than I am. Their generation has grown up with phones, my eldest now through her own choice rarely uses it, they aren’t the novelty they once were.

Do people still do dances on TikTok?

FuzzyWolf · 04/10/2025 21:46

BatsInSummer · 04/10/2025 09:44

How is my child using social media without me knowing it?

Show quote history

Some children set up their own accounts on friends’ phones, tablets or devices and do it that way.

Even if they have limited access to it because they can’t get on at home, it’s rare for a child of 12/13 and above to not have a social media account somewhere even if it’s also in a false name.

dontmalbeconme · 04/10/2025 22:09

RaspberryRipple2 · 04/10/2025 21:40

My 12yo says she won’t ever get TikTok as she knows what dangerous content is on there from school and she doesn’t want to risk seeing that. She will get Snapchat for the filters when she is 13 (I have it for this as well which my 2 dc access for fun), but says she won’t ever use it for messaging - again they have been taught at school about its more nefarious uses and I also tell her about news stories where men have used Snapchat to access and sexually abuse children. Surely education about the dangers is better than an outright ban that the child doesn’t understand? I realise not all children would react in the same way to this sort of thing though - but one genuine story about this should be enough to prevent most girls ever replying to strangers on there? In itself, it isn’t harmful.

That sounds like the kind of thing a 12 year old who already has TikTok would say thinking she's super clever throwing her parents of the scent.

Trust me, every single one of my daughters friends whose parents thought they didn't have SM accounts absolutely did have them. The only difference was that they weren't monitored unlike those whose parents allowed them with sensible safeguards.

Avie29 · 04/10/2025 22:54

Unsuurisweird · 04/10/2025 21:20

Um you know that was to watch something he shouldn’t be watching then to get rid of it so you didn’t see right? He probably does it constantly. It’s a known thing kids do to get around parent restrictions. Did you think it was because in 5 mins he made the sensible decision that TikTok wasn’t for him 🤣

Show quote history

No i deleted it from his phone lol x

NorthernLass2025 · 04/10/2025 23:07

Nope no social media for 15 year old or any of the youngsters and he isn't bothered anyhow as his friend group isn't into them either and neither are we or extended family. Much prefer doing things with friends or family for real rather than living online

Original poster
BatsInSummer · 05/10/2025 08:43

FuzzyWolf · 04/10/2025 21:46

Some children set up their own accounts on friends’ phones, tablets or devices and do it that way.

Even if they have limited access to it because they can’t get on at home, it’s rare for a child of 12/13 and above to not have a social media account somewhere even if it’s also in a false name.

Show quote history

yes, I can see that happening in the future.
I don't think I can prevent it, and will try and have open and frank conversations about it.
I know I can't prevent what he sees and does on other's devices. But I can limit as much as possible and that's what I'm doing and will continue to do.

OP posts:
DeafLeppard · 05/10/2025 08:53

Easterchicken · 04/10/2025 15:21

While I understand your view and your point etc you don't half come across as a judgy mare

Damn skippy I judge who make poor decisions for their child. What’s wrong with that?

We don’t allow social media for our kids yet (early secondary). I think there are many people here patting themselves on the back for allowing “responsible” TikTok/Insta useage, when they’ve just been lucky.

If nothing else, I don’t want those organisations collecting data on my children.

LoftyRobin · 05/10/2025 08:59

DeafLeppard · 05/10/2025 08:53

Damn skippy I judge who make poor decisions for their child. What’s wrong with that?

We don’t allow social media for our kids yet (early secondary). I think there are many people here patting themselves on the back for allowing “responsible” TikTok/Insta useage, when they’ve just been lucky.

If nothing else, I don’t want those organisations collecting data on my children.

Show quote history

The thing is, later on, when you realise that your children have been doing what they want for years and allowing you to enjoy your ignorance to it all, you'll feel really silly. Especially as you'll be the only one who knows how insistent you were that you were doing the right thing.

This will be increased tenfold if your children get hurt because you have the type of relationship where you prohibit them from exploring risky activities under your guidance. You'll feel so guilty and like such a terrible parent for not arming them against the world and instead sheltering them from it.

It's always the sheltered children who are the most harmed by life's perils. It's such a shock to them.

As young teens, especially on this site, within like 4 or 5 years,not they will be off miles away living alone at uni. I'd like my kid to have a solid ten years of seeing what life is like before they go off alone. Not when just a couple of years before, I wouldn't even let them have a smartphone.

Again this is probably why so many young students are unable to cope at university these days. They haven't been mentally prepared for the immense choice and risk we face as independent adults.