I am so frustrated - anyone want to join a "my 3 year old won't potty train" support group?

[Nettee]

DS is 3.3 now and I went cold turkey with the pants again yesterday. Tried a new method of stickers for every half hour with clean dry pants. DS sat willingly on the toilet for long periods saying that he needed to do a wee. I was also a bit harsher when he had accidents than I have been in the past - not cross just dissapointed. Accidents all day, nothing in the toilet. I thought I should keep going today and was all set with the pants this morning but DS said that he wanted to wear his nappy, that he can't wee in the toilet and that he was sad and wanted to go to bed so I caved in and he is back in his nappy. I think it is just going to be a waiting game and I am sure that one day he will train himself in no time as all but it is so frustrating and I suppose I am worried about what other people think. I am probably nagging him to much about it and thinking about it too much myself. I wonder if there is some great psychological reason why he doesn't want to do it or if I am not trying hard enough. Anyway really just wanted to let off steam and hear stories from people in the same situation. Any stories about 3 year olds suddenly cracking it are very welcome!

My DD cracked it in a single afternoon. She's been going to pre-school in the morning without nappies and doing a wee in the tiny loo there, but always asked for a nappy for her poo (at home) and wanted to wear a nappy as a matter of course.

We went on offering her the loo.

One afternoon, when she was about 3.2, she told me she wanted to do poo on the loo. And did. And a wee. And that was it, with a few nappies on the odd occasion for a a month - she was basically "trained" night and day instantly.

He is just not ready.

Just give him a big cuddle and say something like "OK - you can stay in your nappy but when you want to try big boy pants again just tell me".

He will prob be ready very soon but may not be for awhile.

My nephew was 4 in Feb and is only trained for the last couple ofmonths.

(Sorry - space bar playing up!)

DS2 wasn't interested in potty training, and I was very chilled about it TBH - can't be doing with the stress or the mess or the laundry. We went on holiday when he was 3.8 and made a thing about buying a new potty, new pants. The moment we arrived he went straight in and used the potty, put on his pants and that was that. The next day the potty was discarded and he was doing standing up wees.

Good luck,however you do it

DS decided on the 23rd December (after absolute refusal) that he wanted to wear pants (this was exactly 6 hours before 12 people from all corners of the world were due to descend on our humble abode for xmas) He was 3yrs and 3 months old. I then had absolute refusal to wear nappies while weeing and poohing with great abandon anywhere but in a toilet or potty for the next 6 weeks!!! He then started having some successes (I need some sort of medal for the patience I showed during those 6 weeks especially for the "ds you need to be changed, go to the bathroom." "no I haven't done anything" "yes ds it is dripping out from your trouser leg so I know you have" "IM DRY IM DRY IM DRY" conversations we had every single time he had an accident)Now he is 3yr9mths and will go weeks in between accidents.

aww thank you for your supportive replies and stories of hope. This is what I love about mumsnet. I will try to calm down about the whole thing. I am sure it can't be easy to wee with a stressed out mother staring at you.

oh my goodness yawningmonster, I think you do deserve a medal

DS1 is 3.5 and it was only last week when he basically trained himself to use the loo.
He wees standing up now and has had only a few accidents. He wears a nappy at night and sometimes does a poo in his nappy but is getting there.
I was a bit anxious about it up till last week (all his friends are out of nappies), but do agree that they will do it when they are ready, and at a later age, there is no real "training" involved, once they move to pants, thats usually it.
Keep calm and cool about it if you can, your DS will get there when he's ready, it's really not unusual for boys in particular to be a bit late to move out of nappies.

DS cracked it at 3.5 after showing very little interest at all in the potty.

Yes! My ds is coming up to 3.2 and is not quite ready. We have had some success with weeing on the toilet, but not enough for him to be consistently reliable in pants. I am just going to continue suggesting he might like to use the toilet / wear pants every now and again (as I have been doing for the last year or so!) and wait until he is absolutely ready and wants to do it himself. It would be lovely if he could take himself off to the toilet but he is not all that interested, and tbh, I can't be doing with the constant mopping up of accidents. I think ultimately it must be easier to let them decide when they are ready.

Hi everyone. DH came home from work on Saturday afternoon when I had given up and took DS's nappy off again but this time we didn't put any pants on. We are doing much better in that since then we have only had 2 accidents - WOW - but all the successes have been in the garden (and not in the potty). But still good progress - he has said when he needs to go and that he wants to do it outside and then he has done it. Not sure where we go from here - be led by him I suppose. It is all good practice anyway!

Please, please, please, can I join!! JD is just over 3 and appears to be nowhere near ready. In fact, after only 1 day of potty training (which consisted of constant weeing in pants) I could barely get him to even sit on the toilet. I thought I'd done everything right, lots of preparation talk, went to choose pants together, got a sticker chart, you name it but seemingly to no avail! By day 2, he went hysterical just at the sight of a pair of pants! He was so upset (as was I) that I immediately put him back in nappies. He's also got abit of a poo issue, which I think stems from pooing in the bath a few months ago, where he runs around holding the back of his trousers when he wants to poo (not always successfully). All this and a 9 month old baby sister! Any advice, help, pearls of wisdom would be extremely gratefully received!

son is 3 years 3mths, been (unsuccessfully) potty training for...lost count how many months one day last week DS decided he wanted to "use the big toilet like mummy & daddy" which he did. lots. all day. and the next day. and the next. but, the day after that, we were back to accidents in his pants, on bathroom floor, even on stairs at one point...back in pull-ups now. any miracle tips?? i haven't the energy or patience to wait much longer, have a daughter 20mths! wen do i start this torture with her???

elle23 - i know what you mean? Dd1 will be 4 in september- still in pull ups and dd2 will be 2 in a couple of weeks- she had a nappy free afternoon yesterday- I think they might be training together

should i start training now or wait until after DD 2nd birthday-october

elle - if your daughter is keen I would go for it - but if not then wait. No point cleaning up wees for too long, I keep telling myself DS will do it when he is ready.

Myrm - your DS sounds like mine. I thought I had tried everything but I hadn't tried the bare bottomed approach amazingly. It is definatley making him more aware of what is happening - now just need to persuade him to focus his effort on the toilet rather than the flowers in the garden.

There are two ways to potty train. You can start when you want to or think you ought to and you get there in the end, but it's stressful, you get lots of washing, wet carpets and car seats, you have to ask your child whether he wants a pee every twenty minutes and you can't go out without a planning schedule akin to akin to the D-day landings.

Or you can wait, ignoring comments from other mothers, your mother, your mil and total strangers on buses, and one day, probably sometime around 3 - 3.5 is, your ds will tell you he don't want to wear nappies any more, and will be wearing pants and using the loo from that day on with only the occasional accident when he gets the timing wrong. It's not a battle worth fighting, honestly, and it's certainly not worth anyone getiing upset about.

Seeker - thank you for posting - I have read your posts before and they have really helped me not to worry quite so much. I know that you are right but can't help myself with the potty training attempts. I suppose no potty training guru would be able to make any money out of this system which is why it doesn't get much press.

I have thought about writig a book called "I
Can Potty Train Your Child in 10 Minutes" Trouble it, it would consist of two sentences. "Wait until your child says"Mummy, I don't want to wear nappies any more" Then you say "OK darling, here are some pants and there is the loo" Do you think it would sell?

Glad I helped. This is a hobby horse of mine - I hate seeing people getting upset and stressed over potty training. Mind you it's all probably because my children are both lazy ha'pths who were in nappies til 3.5 and nearly 4!

seeker - I completely agree with your approach (basically the one I followed, though pre-school forced my DD into pants in the morning for 3 hours).

Totally agree with seeker, and have to say its having read her posts on MN that I decided to wait it out with DS1.
Perhaps you should write that book seeker!
DS1 was 3.5 when he decided enough of nappies and we have only had a few accidents.