I am so frustrated - anyone want to join a "my 3 year old won't potty train" support group?

[Nettee]

DS is 3.3 now and I went cold turkey with the pants again yesterday. Tried a new method of stickers for every half hour with clean dry pants. DS sat willingly on the toilet for long periods saying that he needed to do a wee. I was also a bit harsher when he had accidents than I have been in the past - not cross just dissapointed. Accidents all day, nothing in the toilet. I thought I should keep going today and was all set with the pants this morning but DS said that he wanted to wear his nappy, that he can't wee in the toilet and that he was sad and wanted to go to bed so I caved in and he is back in his nappy. I think it is just going to be a waiting game and I am sure that one day he will train himself in no time as all but it is so frustrating and I suppose I am worried about what other people think. I am probably nagging him to much about it and thinking about it too much myself. I wonder if there is some great psychological reason why he doesn't want to do it or if I am not trying hard enough. Anyway really just wanted to let off steam and hear stories from people in the same situation. Any stories about 3 year olds suddenly cracking it are very welcome!

Pookybear - do you really imagine that most of us have not tried the very method you are suggesting for at least a week if not many weeks. You say that all the dc are lacking is the right motivation but as parents who know them best lots of us are convinced that our dc do not know when they are about to wee or poo or seem frightenend to do it on the toilet. Lots of children train easily below the age of two and if yours were like that then lucky you but ther were always late trainers and this thread is meant to provide support to people finding it harder - or later - and being subjected to the sort of attitude that you are expressing enough from our own mothers in law and the rest of the world without having to hear it on this thread too.

I meant below the age of three but you get my point......

pookybear you are bonkers.

Hi - room for another one? My ds 2yr 11 months is showing absolutely no sign of wanting to come out of nappies. Am trying everything to persuade and encourage him but no joy. My eldest was out of nappies by 3, with the odd one here and there for poo's (wouldn't sit on loo or potty).

He starts nursery in January and dont know if they will accept him if not dry. Any tips greatly appreciated!

Hi to everyone!!

God its stressful!! Last time we went shopping he weed himself in the buggy but today he was ok But of course has done the obligatory poo in pants today. He told me his bottom was sore and I told him if he pooed in toilet it wouldn't be but don't think that will work, but I can hope...

I bought him a lazy town scooter for being a big boy and saying "goodbye to nappies" this bribe worked well and he has never asked to wear one again. He cannot be parted from his scooter and even takes it to bed with him!! Just got to crack the poos!!

I am new to mumsnet. My 2nd boy is 3.7 years and not interested in toilet training. he knows the "theory" ut wont do the practical. My 1st boy was 3.5 when he decided to use potty so i think its genetic!! Its the comments from family and friends which are annoying. I ma not stressed about it as i think he won't be in nappies when hes at school (well i hope not!!!) I will wait until a rainy week and keep him in the kitchen with the potty (on the vinyl floor not the new carpet in the rest of the house) and see what happens

I am new to mumsnet. My 2nd boy is 3.7 years and not interested in toilet training. he knows the "theory" ut wont do the practical. My 1st boy was 3.5 when he decided to use potty so i think its genetic!! Its the comments from family and friends which are annoying. I ma not stressed about it as i think he won't be in nappies when hes at school (well i hope not!!!) I will wait until a rainy week and keep him in the kitchen with the potty (on the vinyl floor not the new carpet in the rest of the house) and see what happens

oooh can i join too please have dd who is three on sat and she will not even have the potty in the same room as her

haven;t time to read full thread now but will be back later

My DS is 2.8 and tells me there are spiders in his potty! It is glaringly obvious that he is not ready to PT and hates the potty - hence the spiders! So i am going to wait til he is ready as per very sensible advice on here - what I do need help with is how to deal with MIL who will not stop banging on about how he should be PT by this age. I feel like bopping the potty full of imaginary spiders off her head!!

Have not been on for a bit.

Thought we had cracked it last week as he did 2 poos on toilet but quickly reverted to just doing in pants. Ahhhhhh.....

Now we are back to square one but I know he can do it. Grrrr....

Hi all,
Just re-visiting this thread to see if anyone has had any successes lately.
Was all set to try again this half term, but DH has sprung a lovely surprise trip on us so I abandoned plans as I really didn't want to spend a family break stressing over potties, pants and trying out something new in very unfamiliar surroundings.
So, basically, no further along and DS is now approaching 3.2. Frankly, he's still not showing any signs of readiness - denies the obviously stinking lump in his nappy, shows no indication he's about to poo, actually seems happy to run around being wet and smelly.
His creche have tried to help by encouraging him to join his peers when they use the potty or toilet but he remains resolutely stubborn.
Everyone says not to worry but I can't help it - he's due to start pre-school in January and they have a no-nappies policy. Could be a frantic xmas holiday!
Am holding out hope that he'll decide for himself really soon, but my patience is wearing thin.

No progress here either. We have been on holiday and dd has still shown no signs of interest. We have plenty of stinking lumps in nappies still as well!

DustyB - same problem here. My DS1 was well over 3 by the time he got it. And DS2 (3 and 6 mths) seems to be going the same way).

He really doesn't like sitting on either potty or toilet and sort of dances around when he needs to go and asks for a nappy.

This is our third day and as I type he has just done his first wee in the potty!!! Great excitement here.

I am going to crack it by the end of half term - though not looking forward to being stuck in the house!!

Can I join too? DS will be 3 on Thurs and seems totally unready and thoroughly upset by the process. We had an attempt round about 2.3 when he was interested and nearly got it but not quite. He got more and more distressed about it so I stopped and haven't seen any further signs of readiness since. He seems to have gone backwards if anything.

He is also due at a no-nappies preschool in January. I'm just hoping that we can get him to the point where he's likely to manage through a session. My only consolation is he won't poo as he always wants peace and quiet for this.

Am going to attempt a massive bribery scheme starting after his birthday, but have deep misgivings about it really. I worry that if he doesn't really know what's going on down there, the rewards will be arbitrary and confusing. But I can't face the thought of braving preschool without having given it another good shot.

Thank you all for this thread by the way. I spent the whole of another kid's birthday party yesterday getting more and more depressed about DS's lack of potty training. What a waste of a Sunday morning. Glad to know we're not alone.

DD is 3.6 and has been out of nappies since Jan. She continues tohave several accidents a day (and some success). Tis a long haul.

Tom will be 3 in April. We haven't really started with the potty training yet. I do quite often let him run around in pants or butt naked, lol. I think he knows when he wants to poo, but won't sit on a potty. Weeing I think he knows to, and just tiddles on the floor and goes, 'oo-er'. He's also not talking either. We are waiting for an ENT appointment so I figure we need to tackle one thing at a time. It's good to hear what other people are doing.

And so we come to the 3rd day. DS2 at nursery this morning, no accidents (hurrah!), sat on loo and did a wee (hurrah!).

Since he's been home, he wants to go cos he keeps asking for a nappy and saying he doesn't want to be a baby anymore, but absolutely refuses to sit on potty or toilet. Is getting hysterical over it, screaming and crying. But, I can't believe he can hold it in this long?

Something will have to give in a mo!!!

Just saw this message come up on active convos - As a graduate of this thread had to drop in and say just hold in there. If it's not working take a break and try again in a month. I think it's something that just clicks for some unknown reason.

dd was under 2 dry night and day.
ds1 was 3.5 and one day just stopped wearing nappies. Was only 2 months ago but seems like an age ago! Only had 2 accidents since.

Don't stress - it will happen!

Well, I have given in and he has a nappy on. He was getting in such a state and just walking round and round, now he says he has tummy ache - no poo yet!

My ds went naked at home for a long time before being PT. For some reason he was comfortable going on the loo when naked (without pant/trousers anyway). Seems to be very common step - have you tried this?

Well, I have given in and he has a nappy on. He was getting in such a state and just walking round and round, now he says he has tummy ache - no poo yet!

oops! Don't think he's keen on nakedness - he does ask for his pants and happily chooses them.

Help, DD 4 who we started to potty train at 2.4 still hasn't got the hang of doing poo on toilet. She initially did very well with the potty but quickly started to hold on to poos. On reflection I think we should have given up and tried again when she was older. We persevered though but were constantly cleaning pants and by 3.4 she had a serious case of constipation which was horrendous. She is now taking movicol everday, (Lactulose didn't help), but still holds on to poos. She can get very angry when we ask her to go to the toilet as we can see by her face that she is desperately trying to hold one in. She generally would rather not go to toilet and it gets to be quite a battle at times and yet other days she just gets on with it.( so we know she can do it) We really don't know how to move on and progress. We have done loads of praise, rewards, charts, reading and playing on toilet, ignoring accidents, being dissapointed, nagging, not nagging, leaving her to tell us when she needs to go (lots of accidents) We have tried every approach and just feel very fed up after nearly 2 years and still no end in sight.

Hi everyone - good to see this thread is still being supportive. I really thought we had cracked potty training with DS - now 3.8 - but if anything he seems to be getting worse again. It is an unusual day when he has no accidents - and gets to wear his bob the builder pants the next day - He usually has 1 and sometimes 3 accidents a day - mostly wees. I am wondering if it is attention seeking because usually it is when I am busy with something else. On the other hand he only really asks to go about once or twice a day so perhaps it is because I am not reminding him. He is also worse when he is tired which I suppose is to be expected. It really turning into a long haul as scatty spider says - I did think that having started late it would be an instant success story but I am beginning to think I started too early. I know he can do it because he is usually brilliant at preschool and out and about and wet the bed for the first time last night after 2 -3 months of being nappy free at night. Don't really want to call it lazyness but I think he just forgets about it sometimes. DH is keen to tell him off about accidents but I wonder if that is the wrong tactic. DS announces to DH about his accidents as soon as DH walks in from work so I think ignoring must be the better approach.

Hang in there everybody they will get it one day

And I am sure it says so further up the thread but these no nappies pre schools are illegal - don't feel pressurised by them or find somewhere else that is following Ofsted regulations.