I am so frustrated - anyone want to join a "my 3 year old won't potty train" support group?

[Nettee]

DS is 3.3 now and I went cold turkey with the pants again yesterday. Tried a new method of stickers for every half hour with clean dry pants. DS sat willingly on the toilet for long periods saying that he needed to do a wee. I was also a bit harsher when he had accidents than I have been in the past - not cross just dissapointed. Accidents all day, nothing in the toilet. I thought I should keep going today and was all set with the pants this morning but DS said that he wanted to wear his nappy, that he can't wee in the toilet and that he was sad and wanted to go to bed so I caved in and he is back in his nappy. I think it is just going to be a waiting game and I am sure that one day he will train himself in no time as all but it is so frustrating and I suppose I am worried about what other people think. I am probably nagging him to much about it and thinking about it too much myself. I wonder if there is some great psychological reason why he doesn't want to do it or if I am not trying hard enough. Anyway really just wanted to let off steam and hear stories from people in the same situation. Any stories about 3 year olds suddenly cracking it are very welcome!

elise - I had an interim stage where DS wore shorts under trousers before graduating to pants, maybe that would help?

Can I join? DD nearly 3 and we are getting absolutely nowhere. She is very happy to sit on the potty or loo and very independent about it, ie gets seat/stool/potty out, takes off clothes but doesn't do anything (swears blind she has though....anyone else have that?). Hrs friends are dropping nappies one by one and she's the oldest

what relief to see this thread. DS1 just turned 3 and have spent the entire afternoon staring at his bits, ready to whisk him off to the toilet, where he then sat happily for 20 minutes before scampering off and producing the world's biggest wee on our living room floor. (which is wooden, thank god)
He has a language delay to complicate matters so I'm trying to teach him by routine rather than him telling me. He definitely has bladder control and knows when he's going to go, and hates being in a wet or dirty nappy which I'm hoping is a good start..

Hi everyone - We are doing much better here but still quite frustrated by the whole thing. DS goes whole days accident free which is brilliant but if we go out he forgets and has accidents. This morning he wouldn't do a wee when he definatly needed one (dry night time nappy - surprising but fab) and then did it in the garden. He weed in the toilet at a friends house - progress at last you might think - but then he pooed and weed in his pants at home. Writing it all down I actually think how far we have come and that I shouldn't be complaining on this thread anymore but I really was hoping for instant perfection I suppose which is unlikely to happen in reality. I am so nervous about his return to preschool in 3 weeks time - but I suppose we have only been doing this for about 3 weeks and the changes have been huge so maybe it will be all sorted by then.

Have started another post but I think potty training is the real issue...DD is 3.5 and in all honesty nowhere near out of nappies. I have heard Pampers 6 described as 'hammocks' and it is getting me down a bit to still be buying them! We thought she was ill recently but still regularly fills her nappy each morning and I'm wondering if it will ever end!!

Can I join? AccidentalMum, I think we must have the same daughter! Just turned 3, delighted to wear pants, loves all the toilet palava, very independent etc, but has yet to do anything on the toilet, whilst insisting she has..."look, mummy, there!" I'm trying to go with the flow...I guess it'll just click one day, but I am worried that she holds it all in until she can put a nappy on.

At least your DD is showing an interest! Have reached the point of thinking that she will be in nappies for the foreseeable future! Took her to a friends house today and after a tantrum about not wanting to wear pants eventually agreed to let her wear a nappy but told her it wasn't for pooing in and that she must tell mummy or friend if she needed the loo. After about 2 hours my friends mum come in to say DD has dirtied her nappy in the back garden, feel in such a hopeless situation still changing nappies on a 3 y/o!

Oh dear. Until recently DD didn't want to wear pants "in case I do a wee" and I just let her wear a nappy and tried again a coulple of weeks later. Could that be where your DD is at now? Now DD insists on wearing pants regardless. She has this evening weed and pooed in her pants while having dinner, and wasn't the slightest bit bothered. I don't know if this is an improvement, until recently she'd have got really upset and insisted on going straight back into a nappy. Now it's just, oh yeah, whatever, and then she just evades any attempt of mine to talk about why she should tell mummy when she needs a wee before she has an accident. I've tried a sticker chart, but she wasn't interested. I'm trying not to get stressed out by it, but now I've got to go downstairs and clean up...again! Grrr.

Possibly, although DD insists on her nappy, I'm certain it's clinging on to babyhood. If it wasn't such a messy affair I'd be taking a harder line!

Hi all!
Just found this thread - phew I'm not alone!!!!
DS is 3yrs old in just over 2 weeks and shows no interest whatsoever in potty training.
He can walk around the house stinking to high heaven and categorically deny he has anything in his nappy.
He expresses absolutely no interest in big-boy-pants or using the potty.
Tried pretty much all the normal routes so far - stickers, charts, bribery, books about potties, bit of sibling support, pointing out dry friends, naked time in the garden, putting on pants to let him wet them.
Zilch, nada, nothing!
At best I just get laughed at, this then works up the spectrum to full screaming fits.
Problem is, he starts pre-school in January and then have a no-nappies policy (discussed here - we live at RAF Akrotiri, Cyprus) so the pressure is mounting.
Suggestions are welcome, though I suspect I'll just have to wait it out till he decides he's ready.
Just glad I'm not the only one.

Hi, I have been trawling this topic, as am worried about my 3.10 year old ds, still in nappies. Well I say still, we did try and go "cold turkey" as some one else called it from April to July of this year, after using many many other methods. We didn't get stressed with him, he didn't get stressed about it (as far as we know) and with luck got some wees and poohs in potty. BUT almost one pooh accident a day and same for wee. Sometimes worse. In the end I thought we are flogging a dead horse, he is not ready, I can't keep washing out dirty pants, or worse cleaning up pooh accidents so put him back in nappies. Most people seem to agree with this.
He seems happy to be back in nappies, and now poohs and wees to his hearts content. He denies having done a pooh as well, and shows no sign of wanting to be changed. Although at first he did as he would take his nappy off and get the pooh every where. I must admit I did lose my temper about this, being stressed about the decision to put him back in nappies anyway. Worried that the one sign he showed of being aware that he needed to be changed, was stopped iyswim.
Any advice? He starts pre school next week, and just feel it is never going to happen

Yes it's a few crumbs of comfort knowing we're not alone. No progress either for me I'm afraid. Today tried again telling DD nappy could be used for wees not poos but this afternoon I watched her standing by her bed grunting and straining, asked her if she had pooed and she promptly denied it and ran off with the nappy sagging behind her, and also a full on tantrum when I confornted her with it, nothing but bad news!

Its the expense of buying the blinking nappies as much as every thing else. I had ds1 in feb 2003 he was 20 months and obviously still in nappies when dts arrived, but trained by 2.5 and dt1 has only just got it in the last 5 months or so, but still it's 2008 that is a lot of nappies

hi im glad im not the only one my ds3 is 3 in oct been potty training him since jan 07 my other 2ds were potty trained and dry by the age of 2, tried everything but he is a late talker so cant or wont say wee or poo when he needs one he has started saying the s**t word for poo,he can do wees on toilet,potty or backyard but keeps his poo in for a week starts nursery soon so hope he starts talking asap although hes dry through the night (we get him up before we got to bed for a wee)then hes back off to sleep hope this helps sum one for the nighttimes

Hi, haven't posted on this thread for about two months, but I think I'm finally making some progress with DS (now 3.7). About six weeks ago I took him back out of daytime nappies and told him he would need to ask for a nappy when he needed one (he'd always refused to use the potty or toilet). Then we moved through stages - stage 1 was he had to go to the bathroom to get his nappy on and stay there till he was finished and got the nappy back off, then he got one chocolate button (I know, but it's working!). Stage 2 he had to sit on the potty with the nappy on, stage 3 he had to sit on the potty with the nappy on but the sides undone a bit, and so on. Spent between a few days and a week on each stage and last week we made it to the stage where the nappy was in the bottom of the potty without any bit of it touching him. From there he didn't mind at all when the nappy was taken away completely, and he jumped straight to peeing in the potty at home and in toilets if we're out with no difficulty at all . So we're halfway there now - no progress with poos, as he says he has to stand up to do them, so can't even make it to the sit-on-potty-while-wearing-nappy-stage - any advice anyone?

Sorry for long post, but as everyone on this thread will understand it's such a relief to be finally getting somewhere, even if we've still got the whole poo thing to sort out!

Hi purplerabbit (you've got an august baby too haven't you?) - keep trying lots of different things, one day it will just click. Those big boy nappies are a killer to change though!

I spotted this thread come up but am really just popping in to say that we have graduated well and truely. DS1 managed to cope with just2 loo stops on a 15 hour drive back from france last week. He also has been going dry at night (with pull ups on). Am so pleased with him. The only downer is that dh has show him how to pee standing up when we were away. He also showed him to shack his willy at the end of the wee. There is pee all over the loos and walls and floors as he doesn't wait to shake!

Hi loler, yes DS2 is an August 2007 baby - at this rate he'll be fully out of nappies before DS1!

That's great you've graduated - LOL at the standing up and shaking though!

Hi guys - I am very proud that DS has now had two mornings at preschool in his pants with no accidents! yay! However he is still having on average one accident a day at home - quite often poos. It is strange because early on in our training he was better with poos than with wees. I am wondering if it is attention seeking or if he is just relaxed about it at home and forgets that he is not in nappies. I really hoped that once it was cracked that would be it but it is two steps forward and one step back. At least progress has been made at last. DS 3.6 now which was one of my target ages once 3 went past...

Brilliant news Loler. Everyone else - hang in there - they will all get there in their own time

Any success yet overrun? None this end I'm sad to report. 3 poos in her nappy today, probably the worst yet!!

My DS was nearly 4 and still in nappies. I had tried to toilet train at about 2.5 to 3 but with no luck and wet carpets. So I decided to leave it until he was showing more signs. He never did, then one day he was playing with me upstairs, walked out of his bedroom, in the bathroom, took his nappy off and sat on the toilet. That was that, even at night!

Oh just remembered! I bought cheap nappies too. They are not as comfortable when they are wet.

I am attempting to train DS 3y6m for about the 4th time
So far just lots of wet clothes

Can I join??

Ds is 3.0 and has been out of nappies for 5 weeks.

Wees are cracked. The bribery of a lazy town scooter worked

Poos are a different matter he goes in pants at least twice a day and doesn't tell me till I notice/smell it (sorry if TMI!!)

It is starting to do my head in, I would rather he asked for a nappy that cleaning pooey pants

DD 3.3 and PT is a completel nightmare. I also had problems with her nursery (we had to change nursery when we moved in June - the old one would have been very chilled about it) but we have switched to a CM instead which is better all round. CM is trying to PT as well and I feel under pressure from everyone. But it's really not happening. CM is on holiday and we went at it for 2 days with just a lot of puddles, poopy knickers and we both had melt-downs in the end

I could cry reading Seeker's advice. I just so badly need someone to tell me it's OK not to push her so hard. We are both miserable. She wants to try but just toally can't tell when she needs to go, then gets fed up and starts refusing to sit on the potty no matter what the bribe.

I guess what I'm really afraid of is that she'll still be in nappies when she starts school at 4.3.

But neitehr of us can stand another day locked in the house potty training (confirming what crap time she has with mummy compared to dh or CM). We're off out tomorrow, hammocks and all.

Hi,

I am completely in the same situation. My DD is younger, she is 2.4 but we have been trying to train her for 6 months and she still has no idea when she is going to do a wee or poo. we put her in knickers and give her a star on her reward chart but its still completely hit and miss, sometimes if we bring her to the potty every 1/2 hour she is fine and will stay dry for hours, other times she refuses to do a wee in the potty and 5 mintues later has an accident. its very frustrating for me and I think we've tried everything but any hints would be great. Does she need to know that she is doing a wee before she does it in order to be properly trained?