SIL not making effort with my baby?

[Smileykukka]

Hi, just after some advice.
My bros wife isn't really interested in my baby. Doesn't make much of an effort. If all my family get together and my child does something funny or we are singing she just stares at her and doesn't smile. I've seen her play with her a couple of times for a short while but then will continue to ignore her for the rest of the day. We were in Greece (my parents, bro and sil, my sister and her partner and on one occasion she didn't acknowledge my baby all day, even when my baby was looking at her she didn't interact.
I'm just abit hurt if I'm honest.

I have a niece who's 5 years old from my sister and as an auntie myself I love her and spend as much time as I can with her.

So lazy, I mean OP you didn't even come back to try to elaborate on your fake scenario - 0/10!

This happened to me with SIL. Her attitude and the rules about the baby totally put us off interacting or building a bond. I think parenting forums had a big influence on her and made her do uncharacteristically self centred things and push family away. It was her third and she even prioritised the baby over her existing DC. She was so centred on that baby it was awkward to interact and feed into whatever was going on for her.

Your baby is the most beautiful,exciting and precious thing - to you. Not everyone will have the same level of adoration. That’s not because they are bad people it’s just the way it is. I have no interest in babies, but could happily gaze at my newborn grandson for hours. I don’t expect others to react in the same way.

My advice as you’ve advice for it, is get on with your own life and let SIL get on with hers.

Your baby is boring to her.

I'm just abit hurt if I'm honest.

You need to learn to let this go.

Your baby is the centre of your world. Not hers.

Some people just don’t like babies, toddlers and children. Accept it.

Life’s too fucking short to be upset over something as pathetic as this.

I wonder if it is the attention that makes them jealous. I have had this same reaction from family. How is SIL with her own child if she does something cute - does she praise the child or ignore?

I would spend less time focusing on SIL completely. Maybe there is jealousy there too with her feeling her child is getting less attention.

I know it is a little different, my siblings are childfree and are similar reactions most of the time. The odd time they may say, “that’s cute” but they are far from the warm and loving aunties and uncles I grew up with. I’m hoping that maybe when DC is double digit age, they try to have a better relationship. If not, that is their loss, not DC’s and not mine, as we too will not bother in their lives either if it is going to continue.

Does she have kids?
if not she probably doesn’t get it
how to interact with babies , especially if she is not babies person in general.

I think you are overthinking things here. There are loads of reasons why your SIL is not reacting in the way you think is appropriate. I don’t think this should affect your day.

I am not a baby fan. At all. Once they’re about two, great stuff. But until then, no thanks.

My BIL went on holiday with us for a week when DC was 7 months old. First time he’d met her. He didn’t hold her once, interacted with her maybe 5-6 times total for a short while. He is my partners brother and they are v close.
Some people aren’t baby people! And that’s okay!

Not everyone is a baby person…

I don’t really interact with babies that aren’t mines unless I have to 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 She might interact more once they become more interactive.

I adore my neices. Theyre clever and kind and whirlwinds of fun. But tbh, I dont like babies. Even them, they were boring. I find all babies boring. I can care for them, I can be responsible and patient but its a full chore. And tbh if mam or dad was on hand theyd only get minimal attention from me.

But thats done 180 as they've grown and become the coolest little people.

I think you may be being unreasonable. Shes not being horrible to your LO just uninterested. And tbh if she was a man I suspect youd notice less.

Give it time

All the adults in the room regularly singing to the baby did jump the shark somewhat.

I used to hide when people brought their newborn babies into the office for a visit.

She is under no obligation to shower your baby with attention. She may just be one of those women that is not interested. And that’s ok.

Why do people assume just because someone has a baby other people have to be interested in a baby?

It starts with assuming that because you are a WOMAN you must be interested in babies, and men get a free pass. Why is that

Agree.
It's her loss, anyway. Focus on your baby and the people who treat them like a person. And try to ignore her.

I think that’s exactly what’s happened with mine also. Boundaries are good and rules are fine but at a certain point it can just be overboard to the point you can’t be arsed! I love babies and my world centres around my daughter but it’s tedious when it’s the only subject!

Why is it her loss? what is she losing?

She’s losing nothing…..

Stop it I’m lolling in the staff room 😝😝

No one is really that interested in your baby apart from you and possibly a few others. I feel for your SIL why should she have to feign interest in a baby she is not connected to?

She's probably fed up of you singing baby songs while others are trying to have an actual conversation.