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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
StellaAndCrow · 21/07/2025 11:33

I'm sorry. It shows what they expected your role on the holiday to be!

Chewbecca · 21/07/2025 11:37

What would you like to have happened?
For them to rearrange the trip? Presumably that isn't really an option as it is all booked and it is his birthday at that time.
For your partner to drop out? It's a bit unnecessary for him to miss his Dad's birthday.
For him to take your 2 year old (& the birthday guy's GS) - yes, I think that is a reasonable ask. Would your 2 year old be ok going without you?

What other issues do you have with the situation, I am not quite clear.

I think I would sift your grumbles into reasonable and unreasonable ones.

Chewbecca · 21/07/2025 11:38

(sorry I think I got the family relationships wrong, it's your Dad's partner, right?).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy
Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 21/07/2025 11:39

Kick up a fuss about what? Your FIL was being very generous, you couldn't go becaue you are pregnant and your partner doesn't want to look after his own kid, let alone yours. And you're pregnant to him with another child 😐 Let FIL enjoy his birthday

WitchesofPainswick · 21/07/2025 11:40

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 21/07/2025 11:39

Kick up a fuss about what? Your FIL was being very generous, you couldn't go becaue you are pregnant and your partner doesn't want to look after his own kid, let alone yours. And you're pregnant to him with another child 😐 Let FIL enjoy his birthday

I'm afraid this is right.

How long ago did you book? Did you even get cruise insurance? You really DON'T want to be giving birth at sea without medical care available!

JudgeBread · 21/07/2025 11:41

So your role on the holiday was clearly intended to be The Childcare!

Can you plan something special for you and the kids to do while your partner is off on his child free jolly? How old are your two girls?

doodleschnoodle · 21/07/2025 11:42

I think your partner is a knob. He can’t take his child because he won’t be able to ‘relax’, what does he think you’ll be doing pregnant at home with three kids?

I agree it speaks volumes about what you were going to be doing on this trip: childcare so the rest of them could have fun. So maybe it’s best avoided anyway as it would probably have been miserable.

DiscoBob · 21/07/2025 11:43

You certainly can't complain as it was a ridiculously generous offer in the first place. He filled the empty spaces with his friends, which is also fair enough.

It sounds like a shame for you and the kids but they couldn't have been expected to cancel the whole thing just to make a point in solidarity with you over the pregnancy rule.

PollyBell · 21/07/2025 11:44

Kick up a fuss about what? It is not your trip

ErrolTheDragon · 21/07/2025 11:44

Ah, that’s a shame.
I don't really blame your FiL - he can’t change the cruise line’s policy and he wants it to be a nice event for his partner’s birthday. But your partner isn’t being much of a ‘partner’ or parent if he CBA to take his son on holiday.

LaLaLandDreams · 21/07/2025 11:45

A shame but you can enjoy the time with your child 1–2–1.

doodleschnoodle · 21/07/2025 11:45

That said, I don’t think I would have my two girls going with a man who wasn’t their dad and another unrelated man on a cruise without me there, so I think that bit makes sense. But he should be taking his own child at least.

Jk987 · 21/07/2025 11:46

I think it’s a lot to have sole responsibility for 3 kids when on holiday - bedtimes, food, entertainment etc. I know single parents would have to cope but there wouldn’t be much down time at all.
I’m not sure what the solution is though. It’s gutting that you can’t go.

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/07/2025 11:46

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 21/07/2025 11:39

Kick up a fuss about what? Your FIL was being very generous, you couldn't go becaue you are pregnant and your partner doesn't want to look after his own kid, let alone yours. And you're pregnant to him with another child 😐 Let FIL enjoy his birthday

It’s not her FIL, it’s her dad who’s booked and paid for the holiday for his partners birthday. This is OPs side of the family, not her DHs. I think she’s mixed up and said FIL in the middle.

OP sounds like they only wanted you for childcare, not really a family holiday. I would kick up a fuss too, only you need to stay home and you’re the only one who will be staying home, everyone else who was invited can still go and should go. Not fair to uninvite the kids, especially the older ones who will understand

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 21/07/2025 11:46

DiscoBob · 21/07/2025 11:43

You certainly can't complain as it was a ridiculously generous offer in the first place. He filled the empty spaces with his friends, which is also fair enough.

It sounds like a shame for you and the kids but they couldn't have been expected to cancel the whole thing just to make a point in solidarity with you over the pregnancy rule.

The only person you should have an issue with is your "partner"

ThejoyofNC · 21/07/2025 11:46

Tbh I think it's very different you going as a family, to him taking a 2 year old away with a load of adults. That wouldn't be enjoyable at all. And they have no obligation to take your 2 older children, it was generous to begin with.

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/07/2025 11:47

Jk987 · 21/07/2025 11:46

I think it’s a lot to have sole responsibility for 3 kids when on holiday - bedtimes, food, entertainment etc. I know single parents would have to cope but there wouldn’t be much down time at all.
I’m not sure what the solution is though. It’s gutting that you can’t go.

He won’t have sole responsibility though, other adults will be there, like the kids grandad

HappilyUrbanTrimmer · 21/07/2025 11:47

StellaAndCrow · 21/07/2025 11:33

I'm sorry. It shows what they expected your role on the holiday to be!

This nails it

You were only invited to provide childcare for the 2yo grandchild. Your older daughters were only invited as they come as a package with you. You are not considered a true member of this fanily and your "partner" (not actually a partner, sorry) doesn't give a shit about you or his child.

End the relationship. Prioritise your children. Don't start looking fir a new partner for a while, but when you do for heaven's sake don't consider them to be a partner if they don't have a deep commitment to living in a genuine partnership with you. This specimen barely qualified as a boyfriend. It's clearly a very casual thing for him.

castleclass · 21/07/2025 11:48

I wouldn’t take my 2 year old and another 2 of someone else’s children on a trip for my partners dad’s partner if my partner wasn’t going either. It doesn’t sound like fun at all and everyone saying it was clear what your role was is missing the fact that 2 of these children are just yours and looking after a 2 year old can be hard work so with 2 parents present you both get to relax a bit. I feel for the man in this situation because I would do exactly what he has.

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 21/07/2025 11:48

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/07/2025 11:46

It’s not her FIL, it’s her dad who’s booked and paid for the holiday for his partners birthday. This is OPs side of the family, not her DHs. I think she’s mixed up and said FIL in the middle.

OP sounds like they only wanted you for childcare, not really a family holiday. I would kick up a fuss too, only you need to stay home and you’re the only one who will be staying home, everyone else who was invited can still go and should go. Not fair to uninvite the kids, especially the older ones who will understand

Show quote history

Oh I see, ok that's interesting. Either way he should get to enjoy his birthday. Its not his problem you got pregnant for the second time to a knob

doodleschnoodle · 21/07/2025 11:48

The post says FIL a few times. It seems weird that her own dad would end up just having her partner on holiday with them without any of the grandkids, surely?

McSpoot · 21/07/2025 11:48

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/07/2025 11:46

It’s not her FIL, it’s her dad who’s booked and paid for the holiday for his partners birthday. This is OPs side of the family, not her DHs. I think she’s mixed up and said FIL in the middle.

OP sounds like they only wanted you for childcare, not really a family holiday. I would kick up a fuss too, only you need to stay home and you’re the only one who will be staying home, everyone else who was invited can still go and should go. Not fair to uninvite the kids, especially the older ones who will understand

Show quote history

I assumed that the mix up happened at the beginning and should have stated that her partner's father paid for the trip (not her father's partner). The rest of the story doesn't really make sense if it is her father's birthday trip.

DiscoBob · 21/07/2025 11:49

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 21/07/2025 11:46

The only person you should have an issue with is your "partner"

Show quote history

Yeah, he's the one that should've had more loyalty to her.

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/07/2025 11:49

ThejoyofNC · 21/07/2025 11:46

Tbh I think it's very different you going as a family, to him taking a 2 year old away with a load of adults. That wouldn't be enjoyable at all. And they have no obligation to take your 2 older children, it was generous to begin with.

Its the 2 older kids Grandad as well, its OPs side of the family

autienotnaughty · 21/07/2025 11:49

Is it your dad or your fil?
it’s crap but I kind of get the two year old. I wouldn’t fancy a cruise with three kids solo. Your kids - if it is your fil does he have a long standing relationship with them? If it’s your dad it’s crap he doesn’t want his grandchildren there. It seems pretty clear your role on this ‘holiday’ was to manage the kids obviously thars not for the men folk🙄