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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
SmurfnoffIce · 22/07/2025 11:43

You're right. Somewhere along the way your FIL changed the view of the holiday from a family one to an adults one.

Why are people trying to make this sound nefarious? OP’s FIL wants to spend time with his son on his big birthday trip. He kindly offered to pay for the whole family. As others have pointed out, with two parents present, childcare isn’t too much of a problem - and I really don’t think it’s that unfair to think OP might do more of it on this particular trip. Nothing to do with gender politics and everything to do with it being his father’s birthday, not hers.

But now things have changed. If only one parent goes and three children do, suddenly that parent is the only primary childcarer, and it dominates their trip. The only way the person whose birthday it is, and who paid for the whole shebang, gets to spend any proper time with his son is if another family member or friend steps in to babysit - and then it starts to become a very different holiday. Is it any wonder FIL has thought adults only might be better in these circumstances?

Bunny65 · 22/07/2025 11:50

I can understand it being difficult with the two-year-old who will need constant looking after, may not settle that easily, miss his mum at times and frankly isn’t old enough to care whether he goes or not and won’t remember it. But the girls are teenagers, an established part of the family and it’s really rough on them after they were initially invited.

CopperWhite · 22/07/2025 11:51

CAMO1984 · 22/07/2025 08:31

@CopperWhitemoney isn’t the issue here as they are not short of money, they are wealthy people. Yes they have paid for holidays for us ect before, they are extremely generous and we are very very grateful.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, which is neither right or wrong, I appreciate that. However in my opinion I feel is he is in the wrong for not willing to take his son away with his own family just because it would be a lot of hard work for him. He wanted a child but seems here only when it suits him..
My other point was the disappointment I now feel to let my two daughters down who were so excited and now feel guilty that I can’t offer them the same experience.
Anyway life goes and and I will be taking the children somewhere in England whilst they go on the cruise.

If he’s paid for other holidays then he’s a generous person, and I can’t see why you would think badly of him or your husband for wanting this one holiday to be about what a 70 year old man wants for his birthday.

Parents are allowed to go away without their children sometimes, especially when it’s a special occasion.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy
prelovedusername · 22/07/2025 12:37

Probably not helpful now but, if your pregnancy is straightforward and you haven't had any complications during previous pregnancies, I would have been very very tempted to have gone anyway and not told the cruise I was 24 weeks pregnant!

This would be incredibly stupid, it would invalidate her travel insurance which means that if she became ill at sea and had to be airlifted by helicopter off the ship (and yes, I have seen this happen) she would have to meet the full costs herself, plus any overseas medical care.

Isthisreasonable · 22/07/2025 12:42

Hopingtobeaparent · 22/07/2025 08:07

Sounds like you’ve got a suitable solution, OP. Although, it sounds like it’ll be hard work, can you take another adult to help?

I think your partner also owes you a wee trip without the kids too, a spa weekend or something, as a thank you for enabling him to have the quality time with his parents on the cruise.

Yes, valid to be gutted for your girls, and for yourself.

It massively changed the dynamics, and yes, parental responsibility, but also just practical logistics, without you going. If your son still went, your partner would be spending every evening with him in the cabin, whereas if you were there, there would have been some turn taking, (I hope!)

I suspect OP taking the 3 kids away solo will be the same amount of childcare as going on the cruise. It sounds like her DP would have left all the childcare to her, fobbing her off with "dad wants me to do X with him", "I have to be with dad as he's paid for the trip" etc.

Better to be on holiday on your own than resentment at his lack of parenting building up. He and his father can deal with the fallout of disappointing the girls, especially not long after their bio father's death. The lack of empathy speaks volumes.

Hmm1234 · 22/07/2025 13:21

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

Sorry but why have you made such a fuss due dates/ conception dates are easily a week early or late

250mlmax · 22/07/2025 13:57

CAMO1984 · 22/07/2025 11:01

@250mlmaxi haven’t once said I was forcing my partner to choose? I have known all along he wasn’t taking our son and the girls could no longer go. I am not trying to salvage anything? I simply just asked for other peoples views on this situation that is all as was just very disappointed.

You're not wrong to be disappointed. It is very disappointing. But some posters are trying to make out your DP is a dick for still wanting to go for his dad's birthday and I think they're out of order.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 22/07/2025 14:02

@Hmm1234the pregnancy was declared at time of booking, any pregnant person before 24 weeks or less needs a fit to travel certificate from GP/Midwife signed and stamped saying you are fit to travel and how many weeks you are.
My bump is visible, I am more than 24 weeks, if they were to stop me whilst boarding without correct documentation (which I wouldn’t have as more than 24 weeks) they wouldn’t let me on anyway. Not worth the risk, also policy is in place for a reason as no equipment on board for a newborn if you were to go into labour plus my insurance wouldn’t be valid if pregnancy wasn’t declared.

OP posts:
pineapplesundae · 22/07/2025 14:11

It’s a shame that the girls can’t go but sounds like it has turned into an adults only cruise. Tough luck but I suggest make the most of it. Maybe do something special with the kids.

ExercicenformedeZ · 22/07/2025 14:42

250mlmax · 22/07/2025 13:57

You're not wrong to be disappointed. It is very disappointing. But some posters are trying to make out your DP is a dick for still wanting to go for his dad's birthday and I think they're out of order.

Show quote history

Bang out of order. It's honestly ridiculous.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 22/07/2025 15:43

@250mlmaxi didn’t and wouldn’t expect my partner to not go, that is not what my issue was, however as you read the comments of some people they would expect their partner not to go at all and he’s wrong to still go. I guess everyone is entitled to an opinion and these comments are very mixed. I asked for other peoples take on this situation and i certainly got it…

OP posts:
cinnamongirl123 · 22/07/2025 15:44

The partner IS a total dick - it’s not simply “going to his dad’s birthday”, it’s that he’s dumping his son because OP can’t go, saying it would be too much work for him to look after his son alone; and then he’s also dumping her 2 DDs, UNINVITING them after they’d been looking forward to this holiday, causing huge disappointment. It’s just appalling.

As if all of this weren’t bad enough, he’s leaving all 3 kids for 24-week pregnant OP to look after ON HER OWN. While he goes off on a holiday. Too much work for HIM to look after kids on his own, but for some reason perfectly ok to leave them all with OP to look after on her own, whilst pregnant. Advanced pregnancy being the very reason she was not allowed on the holiday.

Total dick. OP are you going to face up to this fact?

Hithismyname · 22/07/2025 16:03

riversflows · 21/07/2025 21:04

One of the best holidays I had was on my own with a two year old.

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Same. Why are two year olds made out to be such an inconvenience? It's quite sad really.

ladyamy · 22/07/2025 16:35

spoonbillstretford · 21/07/2025 13:01

I went to Egypt when I was about 24 weeks pregnant (the limit was about 28 weeks for flying I think). No-one even noticed I was pregnant the whole time. Even in my bikini I was less fat than the majority of people- on a cruise people will be massive. And I had plenty of energy in my second trimester.

Though actually I wouldn't fancy a cruise when pregnant or with young children with all the germs and risk of food poisoning. I'd also never suggest this as a holiday with family with young children if I were paying, I'd pick something more inclusive. They are idiots to pick that as a choice anyway.

Edited

‘Less fat than the majority of people…people on a cruise will be massive’

what a kind and helpful comment (!)

PurpleThistle7 · 22/07/2025 16:43

Super divisive post which is interesting!

CopperWhite · 22/07/2025 16:47

cinnamongirl123 · 22/07/2025 15:44

The partner IS a total dick - it’s not simply “going to his dad’s birthday”, it’s that he’s dumping his son because OP can’t go, saying it would be too much work for him to look after his son alone; and then he’s also dumping her 2 DDs, UNINVITING them after they’d been looking forward to this holiday, causing huge disappointment. It’s just appalling.

As if all of this weren’t bad enough, he’s leaving all 3 kids for 24-week pregnant OP to look after ON HER OWN. While he goes off on a holiday. Too much work for HIM to look after kids on his own, but for some reason perfectly ok to leave them all with OP to look after on her own, whilst pregnant. Advanced pregnancy being the very reason she was not allowed on the holiday.

Total dick. OP are you going to face up to this fact?

It’s not a fact though, it’s your opinion. Plenty of people don’t think the partner is being a dick at all, and is actually doing the right thing by ensuring that he is available to spend time with his father on his 70th birthday celebration.

spoonbillstretford · 22/07/2025 17:10

ladyamy · 22/07/2025 16:35

‘Less fat than the majority of people…people on a cruise will be massive’

what a kind and helpful comment (!)

Show quote history

I saw one programme about people who went on cruises regularly and one guy took several sizes of trousers as he would put so much weight on. It kind of sticks in my mind. 66% of adults are overweight anyway and in the age group who like cruises it will be even higher. A pregnant belly would hardly be noticed.

prelovedusername · 22/07/2025 17:23

spoonbillstretford · 22/07/2025 17:10

I saw one programme about people who went on cruises regularly and one guy took several sizes of trousers as he would put so much weight on. It kind of sticks in my mind. 66% of adults are overweight anyway and in the age group who like cruises it will be even higher. A pregnant belly would hardly be noticed.

Edited
Show quote history

I mean, that is nonsense! I’m a size 10/12 and I’ll be the same size when I get off my next cruise. There are plenty of people like me, who eat well but sensibly, swim in the pools, make use the gym and walk a daily mile or two round the promenade deck. You must be thinking of American cruise lines.

Subwaystop · 22/07/2025 17:31

HappilyUrbanTrimmer · 21/07/2025 16:19

A casual date boyfriend says "sorry babes you can't come with me on the freebie holiday my dad is buying for me"

A partner says "sorry dad, I can't join you on your cruise, because my partner is going to be over 6months pregnant by then so the cruise won't let her join, and I'm not going to leave her to cope solo with 3 kids while I have a nice holiday. She, and my children, have to be my priority now"

If he chooses option A please get rid of him

This. A bit of sanity on an insane thread

cinnamongirl123 · 22/07/2025 17:42

@CopperWhiteIt’s not a fact though, it’s your opinion. Plenty of people don’t think the partner is being a dick at all, and is actually doing the right thing by ensuring that he is available to spend time with his father on his 70th birthday celebration.

He could go on the trip and spend time with his father on his birthday AND take the children, hence not disappointing them and not leaving OP to look after them all. But no, he has decided that because OP can’t go - because she’s too close to giving birth - he will leave ALL the kids with her to look after on her own whilst heavily pregnant.
He could have gone with his dad AND not been a total dick to OP, son & DDs! But he chose to be a dick.

The fact that you and others on this thread cant see this is a sad demonstration of the deep misogyny and internalised misogyny still rampant in society 😪

PurpleThistle7 · 22/07/2025 18:09

cinnamongirl123 · 22/07/2025 17:42

@CopperWhiteIt’s not a fact though, it’s your opinion. Plenty of people don’t think the partner is being a dick at all, and is actually doing the right thing by ensuring that he is available to spend time with his father on his 70th birthday celebration.

He could go on the trip and spend time with his father on his birthday AND take the children, hence not disappointing them and not leaving OP to look after them all. But no, he has decided that because OP can’t go - because she’s too close to giving birth - he will leave ALL the kids with her to look after on her own whilst heavily pregnant.
He could have gone with his dad AND not been a total dick to OP, son & DDs! But he chose to be a dick.

The fact that you and others on this thread cant see this is a sad demonstration of the deep misogyny and internalised misogyny still rampant in society 😪

As my answer would be the same whoever was going on a cruise it’s nothing to do with the patriarchy here. I just don’t think solo parenting on a cruise with zero help sounds ideal. A balcony is terrible with a toddler. Skipping excursions and anything at night is terrible too. The only sensible options are everyone skipping it or the partner (of any gender) going on their own and I think this is reasonable. It’s not like he will be away for months!

MascaraGirl · 22/07/2025 18:25

I went to Egypt when I was about 24 weeks pregnant (the limit was about 28 weeks for flying I think). No-one even noticed I was pregnant the whole time. Even in my bikini I was less fat than the majority of people- on a cruise people will be massive. And I had plenty of energy in my second trimester.

You really think cruise passengers look like they’re 24+ weeks pregnant?!

ExercicenformedeZ · 22/07/2025 19:06

Hithismyname · 22/07/2025 16:03

Same. Why are two year olds made out to be such an inconvenience? It's quite sad really.

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Maybe because they are?

MascaraGirl · 22/07/2025 19:15

ExercicenformedeZ · 22/07/2025 19:06

Maybe because they are?

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Can’t argue with that!

Bunny65 · 22/07/2025 20:42

To those attacking the partner, the OP has made it clear that the FIL is paying and he decided to give the kids' spaces to his friends instead. It's nothing to do with the partner, it's not his decision.