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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:

FeyreandRhysand · 21/07/2025 12:10

@ChicaWowWow they can and lying would make any travel insurance invalid, bit risky don’t ya think??

party4you · 21/07/2025 12:11

Gerwurtztraminer · 21/07/2025 12:04

As the saying goes, you have a "DH problem". Clearly doesn't want the 'hassle' of looking after the children, doesn't see the older girls as truly 'his' despite being in their lives for a long time and doesn't want to have to look after a 2 year old. Latter is perhaps understandable as that is a quite a lot of work and wouldn't make for a relaxing holiday, but not taking the girls is just mean.

Not sure what I would do in your situation but I'd be pissed off. Can you take the kids away yourself in the UK instead?

Read her updates

Silvers11 · 21/07/2025 12:11

@CAMO1984 - as well as the confusion around who paid for it i.e. your father or your FIL' which you have now clarified as your FIL, you have also contradicted yourself as to whose 70th Birthday it is. Firstly it was the FIL's partners birthday then it was HIS birthday.

I understand the reasons why people may want to change some details, so as to avoid being too outing, however, if you are going to do that, you need to make sure that you are clear about what story you are using.

Otherwise people will suspect you are simply posting a wholly made up story and the thread will become derailed (it has already, before you posted your correction).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy

Snorlaxo · 21/07/2025 12:11

Reading between the lines, this is a boozy trip where you partner plans to be drunk most of the time and you were the childcare for the 3 kids. Not sure it would have been a holiday for you even if you weren’t pregnant.
I can see why he doesn’t want to take the 2 year old as it will stop the boozing and relaxing. As for the girls, it’s not unreasonable for your FIL not to pay for stepkids but it’s possible that your partner told FIL that it’s ok to exclude because he would prefer that the girls didn’t see him drunk and report back to you plus he would rather not do some parenting. I’m assuming that the girls are not super close with FIL and that you normally do the parenting at home so everyone thinks that’s ok.

Original poster

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 12:12

Sorry I made the mistake of putting my dad, i am new to this, I don’t know how to edit the post.
Just to clarify it is my father in law who has booked and paid for the trip, which we were extremely grateful for from the beginning and my girls were so looking forward to it.
I don’t want to fall out with anyone, I hate confrontation. Just gutted that everyone else has to miss out because of me and that my partner won’t take his own son, I wouldn’t dream of leaving him behind.
The cruise line ask for proof of how far long in pregnancy you are when booking, you need a fit to travel letter so no getting around it unfortunately.

OP posts:

BeLilacWriter · 21/07/2025 12:13

I have to say, I'd be pissed off too if my husband ditched the kids and me for a booze cruise.
If your husband is intent on going, he should put his hand in his pocket for you and the kids to have a holiday in the UK, whilst he's away, somewhere you can get a break too.

Confabulations · 21/07/2025 12:13

The only knob here is your partner who isn't willing to look after his own child. He is the one who thinks his own kid is too much hassle. Uncomfortable as it may be, the others are nothing to do with him or his dad, even after 10 years. They wouldn't have legal responsibility for them as minors, so cannot take them. His own child though - that is shit. He should still take his own child on holiday with his granddad. And you do something with your two.

As always on MN, you have a DP problem.

Ddakji · 21/07/2025 12:14

Your DP is a twat, and it sounds like his dad is too. Your role is solely to produce children and look after them while the blokes have their jollies.

Has your DP always been like this?

frontwoman001 · 21/07/2025 12:15

Completely agree with Silvers11. I understand obfuscating some minor personal details for privacy but not relevant information that changes the situation.

BarnacleBeasley · 21/07/2025 12:15

I think it's fair enough for the partner not to want to take the 2 year old. There's a difference between going on holiday with a 2 year old and both parents, where you can take turns, and going on your own with the 2 year old.

The other issue seems to be the FIL deciding the teenage girls can't go either. That's mean of him. Not the partner's fault though if it wasn't his idea/decision - but that's the bit I'd be getting him to push back on with his dad.

Upforgum · 21/07/2025 12:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SnoopyPajamas · 21/07/2025 12:16

I appreciate it's his dad's birthday, but your partner is the one who got you pregnant. If you can't go, and are facing being home alone solo at over six months pregnant, wrestling a two year old and the other kids . . . I can't help feeling he should show some solidarity and back out of the cruise. Yes, it's a sacrifice. But you're making a sacrifice too, and it's not as if it's your fault you can't go. It takes two to tango.

Disturbia81 · 21/07/2025 12:18

I personally wouldn’t have been able to relax knowing my 2 year old was on a cruise ship without me. But yeah it’s shit all round, couldn’t you fave fibbed about pregnancy week?

Original poster

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 12:19

@silvers11I meant to say partners dads 70th not my dad. It’s my father in law, my mistake. It doesn’t let me edit the post

OP posts:

PurpleThistle7 · 21/07/2025 12:19

I don’t see why your girls would go in this scenario to be honest. And I don’t think a 2 year old is easy on a cruise at all. Presumably if you were there you’d take turns but if he’s there on his own he would be the only person in charge and couldn’t go in the pool or on excursions or anything. Your son won’t know the difference and will be happier at home. Your daughters weren’t raised by this family so they aren’t really relatives and they don’t belong there. They’d be left to their own devices for much of the time as this is now an adults trip.

so really I don’t see any issues with this one. Can you take the kids away on your own? Or do a family holiday later on in the year?

Fragmentedbrain · 21/07/2025 12:19

A two year old on a cruise is a drowning hazard in the making.

Upforgum · 21/07/2025 12:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TokenGinger · 21/07/2025 12:20

I can understand your partner not taking your two girls from a previous relationship. Not because I think they should be treated any differently, but because there’s a whole hassle of consent when not with a parent etc. If not taking the older two girls, then he should take your joint child, in my opinion. I wouldn’t expect him to take three children on holiday alone. I disagree with people saying your role was childcare; I think three children split between two parents on holiday is doable. Three split between one is unnecessary hassle unless you really have to (I appreciate single parents do this all of the time). But he doesn’t have to, because he only has one child. The one child should be going with him.

(Edited to add: with all that being said, there’s no way I’d let my two-year-old go on a cruise ship, I’d be too anxious, especially without me there.)

Docwillseeyounow · 21/07/2025 12:20

I wouldn't expect my DH to take three kids on a cruise to celebrate a birthday. My DH obviously would take them because he's very hands on and capable and loves being with our children but I'm a worrier and a bit of control freak so I would prefer they stayed with me, especially if the youngest was only two.

Isobel201 · 21/07/2025 12:21

I've just been on a cruise, and tbh unless its a disney cruise or something similar with loads of kids places, I wouldn't think a two year old would enjoy it tbh.

cosietea · 21/07/2025 12:22

Don’t tell the cruise line you are pregnant.

Hecatoncheires · 21/07/2025 12:22

Yeah, this isn't good. Your DP can't be arsed looking after his own child and your FIL has bumped your girls for the sake of his friends. I would be exceptionally hurt by this, for my own sake and on behalf of my girls.

If your partner was a decent human being he too would be cross at the last minute jettisoning of your girls and stay home with you - perhaps arranging a holiday for you all.

And for those who think this is a big sacrifice for your DP to make - I don't agree. It's a demonstration of his priorities, which should be with you and the children. FWIW, I pulled out of an all-expenses-paid trip to New Orleans fairly last minute because my DH was suddenly unwell. Yes, I was scunnered, but my DH was vulnerable and needed the support.

Ihmppmmwtbwote · 21/07/2025 12:23

Disturbia81 · 21/07/2025 12:18

I personally wouldn’t have been able to relax knowing my 2 year old was on a cruise ship without me. But yeah it’s shit all round, couldn’t you fave fibbed about pregnancy week?

She's explained that she can't do this. But even if she could, it wouldn't be a very wise thing to do - they have rules like this for a reason,why put yourself at risk unnecessary against advice of people who I presume know better. Also, lying then travelling would invalidate her insurance.

Original poster

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 12:23

@Upforgumwe have been together 10 years, they have basically grown up with my partner and his family. I am just gutted to let them down that’s all, they are excited to go

OP posts:

99bottlesofkombucha · 21/07/2025 12:24

I think your partner owes you some quality relaxing time when he gets back. I’d just book the next weekend and go babymoon on my own.

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