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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
Cucy · 21/07/2025 12:27

YANBU

If FIL said from the beginning that you and the kids aren’t invited, then fair enough.

But you cannot invite someone (the kids) and then pull out.
That is totally unfair.

How is you not being there such different - unless they expected to go off and do their own thing whilst you stayed and watched the kids the entire time.

Their own dad doesn’t want them there and so I’m not sure how much I’d kick off over it.

I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable with him taking the youngest, as he’s obviously not a great dad but I would ask that he still takes the older 2 (if they are comfortable being alone with him without you).

PinkyFlamingo · 21/07/2025 12:30

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:53

I didn’t for one minute expect him to cancel the trip, it’s his 70th birthday, it’s a special occasion, that’s not what my point is. My point was we we’re all booked to go and now just because I can’t go the other kids can’t go. My girls are not babies, me and my partner have been together 10 years, they are 13 and 15 and have grown up with him. It’s such a shame to let them down that’s through no fault of their own.
I guess there is no right or wrong in this, I just wanted other peoples opinions that’s all.
Thank you ☺️

Well you know now your partner can't be arsed looking after his child or yours and here you are, pregnant with another one.

PinkyFlamingo · 21/07/2025 12:31

cosietea · 21/07/2025 12:22

Don’t tell the cruise line you are pregnant.

Oh yes and how would that work if anything happened? Mad advice.

Interested in this thread?

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2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy
tinyspiny · 21/07/2025 12:31

I can totally see why they aren’t taking your older girls , whether they’ve known your partner for 10 yrs or not he does not have parental responsibility , are you married ? What would happen if one of them was injured or sick whilst they were away ? I would be telling him he has to take the 2 yo though as it’s his child and that gives you a break .

Delphiniumandlupins · 21/07/2025 12:33

I think your partner could take the 2 year old, he will have 4(?) other adults to help. Although an all-adult group will obviously be very different to the original 3-generation family holiday originally planned. As your FiL is paying I guess it's up to him who he wants to take and has decided on friends rather than 2 teenage girls. I agree it's unfair for your DD and might expect your partner to drop out too, so he still has A/L for a family holiday.

TesChique · 21/07/2025 12:33

Well, if there's a quicker way for your girls to feel second class citizens in their extended family and for you to feel no more than unpaid skivvy I don't know what it is!

I'm afraid I'd be reassessing all relationships upon their return.

Your DH first - sounds a waste of space, doesn't want to look after his own child because itll get in the way of him relaxing? Fuck off. (Inexplicably you are pregnant to him again which feels like...a choice)

Single parents don't even have the luxury of that choice.

Tell him you hope he enjoys the cruise. Then rain hell when back

ginnybag · 21/07/2025 12:34

I don't think you will be but please ignore people advising you to lie about the pregnancy - they can and will ask for proof and will almost certainly just deny boarding at the port (or off-board you wherever as soon as they found out!) and you'd completely invalidate your insurance, which you do not want to do!

There are very good reasons for not allowing women in the 'viable' stages of a pregnancy to travel and most say if you reach 23+1 at any point during the trip you can't travel.

That said, most cruise lines will simply rebook a cruise under these circumstances for free, although I appreciate the reasons why that might not work in this case, so you could just have moved 'your family' to a later date.

I can, I suppose, understand why your partner wouldn't want to be responsible for 3 kids solo, especially one that young. Which cruise line and destination is it as that makes a massive difference to how unreasonable he'd being.

VIOLETPUGH · 21/07/2025 12:35

I am team husband and father in law, you husband should be allowed to spend time with his father and having a 2yr old with him alone, will spoil it.

WaffleParty · 21/07/2025 12:36

I don’t understand what you’re cross about. What would a two year old get from a cruise anyway? Have a nice time with your DS at home and let your DH and his family enjoy their break.

HelenHywater · 21/07/2025 12:36

I definitely think your partner needs to take his own son on this holiday. Interesting that he thinks its too much hassle on his own, which suggests he'd be expecting you to do quite a lot if you were going.

And also that its too much hassle for him to take the child on a holiday where presumably there'd be quite a few family members to help out, but he doesn't consider it any hassle for you to look after your son (and your 2 daughters) on your own while you're pregnant.

I'd be really pissed off at that!

mindutopia · 21/07/2025 12:36

No way I’d want to take 3 kids including a 2 year old on a cruise solo for an adult celebration. It would be chaos and not at all enjoyable. It sounds like none of you thought this through.

Robin67 · 21/07/2025 12:36

I can understand why you are sad for yourself and your three kids.

But like some other people upthread, I wouldn't want my girls away with a man who is not their dad, without me.

No way would I want my two year old on a cruise ship without me.

If this was a hotel trip, which I could get flights for the girls to come back if there was a problem, I would have less of an issue. I am also continuously scared of small kids near pools and railings and I just would be terrified the whole time.

Ellie1015 · 21/07/2025 12:38

I would not go on holiday with my two year old and not partner as too much hassle for one parent to have toddler on a cruise. You take turns watching toddler being in sole charge for full week is not a holiday. Different at home as usual surroundings and routine.

I would he pissed off that the older ones are being let down. However if that is FILs decsion there is not much to be said. Suppose he might have assumed they wouldnt come without you but he should have checked.

TesChique · 21/07/2025 12:39

VIOLETPUGH · 21/07/2025 12:35

I am team husband and father in law, you husband should be allowed to spend time with his father and having a 2yr old with him alone, will spoil it.

such a pain when the unpaid help don't play ball isnt it!

Her DC is a father, he doesn't get to 100% relax like a childless person would. Its part of the deal.

ZoomingSusan · 21/07/2025 12:40

Hodgemollar · 21/07/2025 11:50

It’s a bit odd to expect your boyfriend to bring your two children, who he’s not the father of, on a holiday to celebrate his father’s birthday.

It’s OP’s father’s partner’s birthday, ie the host is the grandfather of the 3 children.

Superhansrantowindsor · 21/07/2025 12:40

Your partner doesn’t sound very nice or dependable at all. Your issue is with him and nobody else. Is he normally this useless?

SilverHammer · 21/07/2025 12:40

Why don't you book a trip at the same time? Even something like Centerparcs would be fun for you all.

Let your partner crack on and go on a cruise with a load of OAPs.

PurpleThistle7 · 21/07/2025 12:41

As an aside, I had a really similar situation when pregnant with my son and my husband took our 3 year old to South Africa without me to meet up with his parents and sister. It was hard work for him to be solo parenting in a different environment and she was much older and he had his sister who basically wanted to do everything. I wouldn’t have expected him to take her on a cruise as that’s super difficult with a toddler with two parents, even more so with just one. If your father in law is there with his friends it’s not like he’s going to help out. I think it’s totally reasonable for him to go on his own and you just need to make sure you get a break at some point as well.

Starlight7080 · 21/07/2025 12:41

He will probably want to drink in the evenings with his dad. So who would look after the 2 year old? If it was your dad that would be different. But its his dad so obviously they are going to celebrate.
And him taking your other teenagers does sound like it would be awkward.
Can you not book something in the uk for your kids to look forward too .

TesChique · 21/07/2025 12:41

ZoomingSusan · 21/07/2025 12:40

It’s OP’s father’s partner’s birthday, ie the host is the grandfather of the 3 children.

Show quote history

Nope its her FIL

PurpleThistle7 · 21/07/2025 12:41

ZoomingSusan · 21/07/2025 12:40

It’s OP’s father’s partner’s birthday, ie the host is the grandfather of the 3 children.

Show quote history

No. She updated. It’s the partner’s father.

doodleschnoodle · 21/07/2025 12:41

ZoomingSusan · 21/07/2025 12:40

It’s OP’s father’s partner’s birthday, ie the host is the grandfather of the 3 children.

Show quote history

No, she’s clarified this. It’s her father in law, her partner’s father.

‘Just to clarify it is my father in law who has booked and paid for the trip’

Superhansrantowindsor · 21/07/2025 12:41

ZoomingSusan · 21/07/2025 12:40

It’s OP’s father’s partner’s birthday, ie the host is the grandfather of the 3 children.

Show quote history

No it’s not. She clarified on page 3 that it’s her FIL

TealSapphire · 21/07/2025 12:43

There is not a man on earth I'd trust to properly supervise a two year old on a cruise.

3luckystars · 21/07/2025 12:43

What did you want to happen?

There is no way I would bring a 2 year old on a cruise either. Your daughters were invited because they are your daughters, if you are not there then the whole thing is disconnected.

Im probably in the minority here but there is no way I would want my young daughters off on a cruise with strangers without me either at that age.

I don’t think your partner is doing anything wrong. Sorry you are missing out.

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