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Husband mum broke her wrist and pubic bone and he wants to fly to Spain for 24 hours, leaving me, our 6 week old and our toddler behind

759 replies

DreamWaves · 09/05/2025 09:17

My husband’s mum had a bike accident and broke her wrist and pubic bone and can’t currently walk. She lives in Spain with her husband and daughter (we live in London). My brother in law is flying out to help. My husband also wants to fly out for 24 hours, more for ‘emotional support’ than anything and to ‘rally round’ their mum as a family. He wants to go as much for himself as for her.

However he’ll be leaving me alone with our 6 week old baby and toddler who arguably need him more, as there is plenty of support for his mum in Spain. He’s asked if my parents can come over and help, which is an inconvenience to them as they’ll have to spend the night and potentially cancel plans (and they’re both in their late 70s). My mum thinks my husband is being selfish as his priority should be us - he doesn’t seem to realise the knock on effect leaving me with two young kids would have and the extra work it creates for me, and extra pressure it puts on my parents. He said he’d stay if I ask him to but I know he’d think I was being insensitive to his mum’s plight. Is he being selfish or I am being unreasonable? Not sure how to play this one.

OP posts:
TennesseeStella · 09/05/2025 09:18

It's only a day, I'm sure you will cope. His poor mum.

SelinaPlace · 09/05/2025 09:19

I don’t think 24 hours absence to check on his Mum after an accident is at all unreasonable.

fluffiphlox · 09/05/2025 09:19

You can manage for 24 hours can’t you?

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Pillarsofsalt · 09/05/2025 09:20

For 24 hours I think he’s reasonable to want to see his mum after a distressing accident. I understand your worry at being left with a baby and toddler, but I think you will be fine and it might up your confidence knowing that you can cope alone for a couple of days.

rubyslippers · 09/05/2025 09:20

He absolutely should go and see his mum who’s had a horrible accident
you can mange for one day surely? Not ideal but I understand why he wants to see her
juggling a new born and toddler will be ok - it’s going to be nice weather so get out for a wander in the park etc

Moonshinerso · 09/05/2025 09:20

Is there a reason you won’t cope for 24 hours, most would be able to unless there are extenuating circumstances.

If anything I would encourage him to go for at least a couple of days.

Aiiii · 09/05/2025 09:20

It's one day.

BollickyBill · 09/05/2025 09:21

YABU...it's 24hrs. You'll manage. Plenty of women do without any extra help. I wouldn't ask your parents for help either. You've got this.

Cinai2 · 09/05/2025 09:21

I think 1/2 days is ok in this situation, unless there’s a huge backstory that explains why you can’t cope with them on your own.

SolidarityCone · 09/05/2025 09:21

I think you’re being very selfish, it’s not that hard to cope with a baby and a toddler for a couple of days, you might not attain normal standards of housekeeping and there might be a bit too much TV time, but in the scheme of things that is not a problem.

Natsku · 09/05/2025 09:21

You are being unreasonable, its barely any time at all and his mum is hurt. Imagine if your mum had an accident and you wanted to go be with her for a couple of days as support and your husband said no?

LunchtimeNaps · 09/05/2025 09:21

Are you saying you cannot cope with a baby and a toddler for a day or so? It's his mum and he wants to see her for a very short space of time. Unless there's a massive back story you are being unreasonable.

CandiedPrincess · 09/05/2025 09:21

Sorry, I think YABU, you could cope. It's not like he's suggesting he goes for a week. I too would want to see my mum in this situation.

RomeoMcFlourish · 09/05/2025 09:22

If it’s just a 24 hour trip I think you would be totally unreasonable to stop him from going. It’s not like he’s asking to go for a week’s jolly - his mum is pretty badly hurt and I would want to see my mum or dad too in those circumstances.

LilacPony · 09/05/2025 09:22

I really do appreciate how you feel. It’s just 24 hours. Have no plans, you could all stay in pyjamas the whole time, have no expectations on yourself, have takeaway delivered, plan no housework etc. have the toddler pick a film with popcorn. It’ll go quickly. Just have zero expectations on yourself.

DeepLimeBird · 09/05/2025 09:22

You’ll be fine. My now exhusband left me and 4 week old premature twins for 3 months to work. So you’ll be fine for one day.

InMyOpenOnion · 09/05/2025 09:23

Sometimes as parents we face conflicting pulls on our attention and support. Your DH is making a sensible compromise between two people who need him. Flying to Spain on a 24 hour turnaround is pretty tiring.

LindorDoubleChoc · 09/05/2025 09:23

YABU. He'll be gone for a couple of days at most. Please don't be selfish about this.

JasonTindallsTan · 09/05/2025 09:23

Presumably he would ordinarily be out of the house for several hours of each day in any event - assuming he works? Can you really not manage a few extra hours to facilitate him seeing his mother who appears to have been quite badly injured? I’d be furious if I were him and you were making me feel bad about this.

MrsPlantagenet · 09/05/2025 09:23

You are being entirely unreasonable. Of course he wants to go and see his mum. It’d be concerning if he didn’t.

CatsMagic · 09/05/2025 09:23

You are being very unreasonable OP.

You can cope on your own for a few days, and it will do you some good to see that you can.

Badgersandfoxes · 09/05/2025 09:24

Any longer than 2-3 days I’d side with you op. However 24hrs. You’ll be fine. I know it might feel like you won’t be honestly you will.

CriticalOverthinking · 09/05/2025 09:24

it’s 24 hours, you’ll be fine. If it was your mum would you not want to go to her?

Nursemumma92 · 09/05/2025 09:24

YABU- she needs support and it's only for one day. If it was for an extended period of time then that would be different but it's one day. Imagine you were the mum in this scenario and your child wouldn't come and see you after an accident for even one day. I do understand that it is difficult juggling young children but for 24 hours it's very much doable.

TipsyRaven247 · 09/05/2025 09:24

Many women cope with this situation on a daily basis without get worked up about it.

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