WWYD? Miss daughters birthday for work? Honest opinions welcome!

[Jessthemess1]

Hi All

I am majorly torn and want honest opinions if I should miss my daughter's 5th birthday for a work trip.

For context I started a new career 2 years ago in events and it is the first job in my whole life I have ever enjoyed. Part of the job description is occasional international travel. The last two work trips I have missed completely or partially for various reasons. The next one is over my daughter's birthday, my husband is supportive and has encouraged me to go as we have a new CEO and I do not want to be perceived as always unable to commit to my role however, obviously I feel incredibly guilty at the thought of it.

Part of me thinks I should once again miss some of the trip to stay for her birthday then head out for the end of the event but this is supposed to be my area of the project and that feels wrong to my lovely colleagues then on the other hand if you asked my daughter when is your birthday she would simply say the month and not know the date so that makes me think shall we just celebrate before I leave or on my return as she will not know?

Just pure bad luck that the next trip after this one will be our company's biggest event and will be taking place over my husband's 40th birthday next year! 😢

Feel awful opinions or advice welcome.

I do not think you are odd I would 100% rather be with her off course I would. I was a SAHM for 3 years with my eldest and loved it unfortunately circumstances change and now I need to work the fact I love my job is a happy bonus. If I think I could get out of this trip again I would, but I just feel strange having to do it for the 3rd time in a row.

You are so right these situations are so complex and there is no right answer really.

I did also think to myself last night this is kind of a first world problem, my child is happy and loved in a secure home and will get to have two birthday celebrations when I think about the children in Gaza it seems trivial!

@Jessthemess1 I honestly think it will all be fine - it's going to happen again if you are continuing in this sort of work and she might as well grow up with the understanding of how her family works. Am sure your husband might be away one year as well and it sounds like she has a lot of people around her to make sure she feels special every year.

I made a big fuss of my son this year when my husband was away and then made another big fuss of him when my husband was back. My son said he was winning as his sister only got one special day lol.

Yes completely agree with you xx

Just a birthday? The child is 5, it’s a big deal at that age.

Hello All!

I wanted to update in case it is helpful to anyone in the future.

I went on the trip. It was a great success and the event was a triumph the new boss personally thanked me for all my hard work and compromising.

we didn’t tell DD it was her birthday on my return we celebrated her birthday the next day as a family and the day after that she had a party with all her classmates, friends and cousins. She had the best time!! I also brought her home a labubu from the work trip so she was thrilled! I spoke to her teacher before hand and they celebrated her on a different day in class and all family were aware of the switch round.

She went to school on the day none the wiser. Obviously as said before this is a personal decision based on your child but for us I think we made the right choice.

Being a working parent is tough and we are all just trying our best! Xx

I missed my 5 year old’s birthday for a job interview (I did get the job). She’s 17 now, don’t think she even knows this ever happened, and it’s not one of the things she tells me I got wrong!

glad it all went well.

Great update - glad it all worked out so well for everyone