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Original poster

Social services

248 replies

Louiee11 · 01/02/2025 09:22

Need some advice for my friend
So she’s currently 38 weeks pregnant and she’s got social involvement with this pregnancy due to her last child but it’s all getting better
She’s recently got in touch over call with her old mate in prison and been in touch for few days she’s worried that it’s now gonna go against her
he’s in prison for class a or b drugs
He isn’t the baby’s father at all
Does anyone know what would happen or if they would find out ?

OP posts:
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LIZS · 01/02/2025 20:34

So "she" is going the right way to have her second child removed. Why contact him now, has her previous relationship recently ended? Putting a relationship with a known drug dealer ahead of the wellbeing and safeguarding of a baby will not serve her well. If nothing else it suggests her judgement and priorities are way off.

cheeseandcoleslaw · 01/02/2025 20:34

I think op doesn't understand how they can possibly be linked together if friend doesn't mention anything to ss.
Basically, how will anyone monitoring this man's phone calls know who she is anyway?

Kitte321 · 01/02/2025 20:35

What a world 😔
I was trying not to judge but really, I think this is a black and white case of a woman that simply isn’t capable of caring for/raising a child. I hope ss intervene.

People make mistakes but she clearly hasn’t learnt the lessons matured or developed enough risk assessment to become a mother. I wouldn’t let my kids anywhere near someone who had ever been involved with drugs….but someone in prison for that offence currently….whilst 38 weeks pregnant….and not the child’s father?!?!? You must be kidding. With her history? What a mess. Poor child.

Children need stability (financial and otherwise), parent (s) who love them and will put their needs above their own. This behaviour is the opposite of that.

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Nosleepforthismum · 01/02/2025 20:35

Louiee11 · 01/02/2025 19:34

Because she is a good mother she deserves this chance she was young with her first very young

Show quote history

For gods sake, a baby isn’t just a second chance for her to get it right this time round. Your priority as her friend is actually completely wrong. You should be worrying about the safety and welfare of that child rather than banging on over whether she might get caught out. She’s putting a drug dealer in prison over her child. Clearly planning on moving him in as soon as he’s released if SS doesn’t find out and you want to believe she’s a good mum? Sorry OP, but have you ever read the news about all these babies who are murdered or abused by their mother’s new partner who usually has a track record of criminality? You need to report her. Good mums do not put men over their children’s safety.

IAmTheLittleThings · 01/02/2025 20:36

I'm sorry to say @Louiee11 your friend doesn't sound like a 'good mum'.
Good mums, especially heavily pregnant with SS on their back, dont bother getting involved with fuckwits in prison for supplying drugs, which ever class.
A good mum would have given him a swerve, now & when he gets out.
There's nobody more loving than a homeless jailbird........
She may fool SS now but if she continues with such foolishness they will be back with a court order to remove her kid at some point.

loveli7 · 01/02/2025 20:39

cheeseandcoleslaw · 01/02/2025 20:34

I think op doesn't understand how they can possibly be linked together if friend doesn't mention anything to ss.
Basically, how will anyone monitoring this man's phone calls know who she is anyway?

Erm prisons will absolutely be able to determine the number incoming or outgoing, just like police and emergency services can Hmm

They will have intelligence systems to check numbers and find out who it likely belongs to, not rocket science

loveli7 · 01/02/2025 20:42

Doesn't make sense how "friend" has been speaking to him a "few days" but they "like" each other, yea right, I think this has been going on a while. Your mate sounds extremely vulnerable OP.

It reads like she's hoping to be rid of social services soon, signed off or whatever, and was hoping that if before he is released so she can move him in.

He's probably looking for somewhere to get his feet under the table for when he is released as well.

If this was my friend I would be extremely concerned, she is clearly making very poor choices, as others have said SS it's a big fat red flag to social services when women don't protect their children from suitable men.

wizzywig · 01/02/2025 20:45

Basically: as others have said, calls are recorded and listened to randomly. Also Intel/ info is recorded. So if x is chatting about a new woman, and it's overheard by staff, then it's noted. Usually inmates actually think that their mates in prison are their mates so will not blab. Reality is is that everyone is out for themselves.

wizzywig · 01/02/2025 20:48

Is he lining her up to house him when he is released?

cheeseandcoleslaw · 01/02/2025 20:49

@loveli7 erm no need for the twatty comment really was there?! I was only explaining what op was clearly struggling to understand.

loveli7 · 01/02/2025 20:56

cheeseandcoleslaw · 01/02/2025 20:49

@loveli7 erm no need for the twatty comment really was there?! I was only explaining what op was clearly struggling to understand.

Not a twatty comment, if you think it's twatty why didn't you explain to OP yourself?

OP came on here I think to try and have people assure her that there is no way they can find out, and she doesn't like the answers she's had which have explained it over and over.

cheeseandcoleslaw · 01/02/2025 21:01

@loveli7 it very much was a twatty comment, no need for the eye rolls.
But yes I do agree op wanted to be told ss wouldn't possibly find out.

TicklishRubyCritic · 01/02/2025 21:01

wizzywig · 01/02/2025 20:48

Is he lining her up to house him when he is released?

My guess is she’ll offer it anyway

TicklishRubyCritic · 01/02/2025 21:02

cheeseandcoleslaw · 01/02/2025 21:01

@loveli7 it very much was a twatty comment, no need for the eye rolls.
But yes I do agree op wanted to be told ss wouldn't possibly find out.

I don’t think it was least bit twatty

loveli7 · 01/02/2025 21:04

cheeseandcoleslaw · 01/02/2025 21:01

@loveli7 it very much was a twatty comment, no need for the eye rolls.
But yes I do agree op wanted to be told ss wouldn't possibly find out.

Not an eye roll hun- it's a raised eyebrow emoji

Original poster
Louiee11 · 01/02/2025 21:06

wizzywig · 01/02/2025 20:48

Is he lining her up to house him when he is released?

No

OP posts:
Original poster
Louiee11 · 01/02/2025 21:07

cheeseandcoleslaw · 01/02/2025 20:34

I think op doesn't understand how they can possibly be linked together if friend doesn't mention anything to ss.
Basically, how will anyone monitoring this man's phone calls know who she is anyway?

what Do you mean monitoring the guys calls and how will they know who she is ?

OP posts:
fraughtcouture · 01/02/2025 21:08

InfoSecInTheCity · 01/02/2025 19:44

@Louiee11 I've been trying really hard to remain polite.

"Because she is a good mother she deserves this chance she was young with her first very young"

No she isn't a good mother. She is a neglectful mother whose child was removed and who now has supervised contact with her child.

She is now making the active decision to introduce a convicted drug dealer into the lives of her as yet unborn child.

So no, you can't possibly say she's a good mother. Youth may have been an excuse when she was 16, but what's her excuse now at 25?

This.

Your "friend" is putting her own need for male attention ahead of the wellbeing of her child. It's appalling she is even considering this.

SS need to be involved!

Kindofembarrasing · 01/02/2025 21:11

loveli7 · 01/02/2025 20:56

Not a twatty comment, if you think it's twatty why didn't you explain to OP yourself?

OP came on here I think to try and have people assure her that there is no way they can find out, and she doesn't like the answers she's had which have explained it over and over.

Show quote history

I genuinely don't see how they would find out? The idea that because prisoners have their phone calls monitored means every pregnant female who speaks to an inmate will be reported to social services seems a little paranoid to me. Unless they discuss something concerning.
The reason the op gave was the mother had previous social services involvement for being young I mean I was under 16 when I had my first and I'm now pregnant with my second, social services do not care just because a young mum grew up and had another child they're not going to be involved or spying on you.

I mean I don't think a pregnant woman should be sniffing around a jailed drug dealer who isn't even the father but I honestly don't see how they'd find out this all seems a little paranoid which probably means the mother is aware she is doing wrong.

Lj8893 · 01/02/2025 21:13

OP, she will probably get away with it, I’m sure SS won’t find out so she may aswell continue her contact with him. He sounds like he will make a good step daddy.

IncaDove · 01/02/2025 21:15

Louiee11 · 01/02/2025 21:07

what Do you mean monitoring the guys calls and how will they know who she is ?

Show quote history

All prison phone calls are recorded without fail. Prisoners can only call pre approved numbers. For him to be phoning her he would have had to give her details to prison staff.

So the prison will know exactly who he is calling and will have a recording of each phone call

71622025B · 01/02/2025 21:15

Louiee11 · 01/02/2025 21:07

what Do you mean monitoring the guys calls and how will they know who she is ?

Show quote history

By the type of conversation. I told you up thread that my daughter and her ex got caught having contact . Prison officers/social services etc are not stupid

Purinea · 01/02/2025 21:20

Ss aren’t going to take her child because she ‘used’ to be in touch with a man in prison, if she stopped talking to him. But im sure she won’t because no matter how much you say she’s a good mum and her kids are important to her, for some reason her worry is ‘will ss find out’ instead of ‘is it best for my kids if I start a relationship with a drug dealer.’

However I doubt even being in a relationship with a drug dealer is enough for them to take her child, even if they do find out. But she’s not showing brilliant judgment, so they may want to keep tabs on her for longer.

SnoopysHoose · 01/02/2025 21:31

@Louiee11
Whether it's a friend or you, forget about the ifs and whys of if she'll be caught out,
if she has any sense she will cut contact immediately and put the welfare of her baby first.
Is she prepared to risk losing this child for a convicted drug dealer? there are other men in the world not that should really be a priority at 38 wks pregnant

Delphiniumandlupins · 01/02/2025 21:35

If she's worried or stressed about SS involvement then she needs to stop contact with this man in prison. Immediately. If she is genuinely prioritising her children she needs to stop contact with him. Immediately. Nobody here can say that SS will or will not definitely find out but the longer this goes on the worse her judgement looks.