Family member said something I don’t like :(

[Sunflower2478]

Hi everyone,

Just looking to a bit of advice as I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not and need to check myself for being over sensitive!

My ten year old was being a bit impatient this morning about wanting to go back home from a family visit and a family member told him he was being a brat. Yes his behaviour was a bit irritating and I myself told him to settle down a bit, but overall hes a good kid and I don’t like hes been called that on Christmas Eve as well! 😭 I feel really annoyed.

what would your thoughts be?

thanks so much x

All I can say to some of the responses is WOW.

I wonder what the responses would have been if the child had called the adult a derogatory name? I am sure the very same people would have been up in arms !

Adults with age should know better.

He was being a brat.
You told him to stop behaving like that in another person's home.
He continued to be a brat.
Someone else called him out on being a brat because your approach did not work.

End of.

Maybe. Maybe not. We can't know that from the posts.

Doesn't seem like the kid did anything all that bad. He asked to go home. Anything else is assumption.

If I didn't like a child's behaviour I would either bite my tongue (and be thankful it wasn't my kid being a buck eejit 😄) or mention it diplomatically to the parent away from the child. I wouldn't call the kid a brat.

That’s not what happened though! Gosh this is really bizarre, all these aggressive responses.

I thought the behaviour was being called brattish. Saying’you are a brat’ is harsher and unfair.

@KilkennyCats I know! Some of these posters would make brilliant cobblers, the amount of tailoring feet to fit shoes that is going on here 🤭.

If a child was being rude to me in my home then I'd be quite happy to call them a brat. With any luck it would mean the parent wouldn't bring them back!

In my opinion name calling is never good and they are overstepping by saying this to your dc regardless of behaviour. 10 year olds will be giddy about Christmas so it's perfectly understandable that they wanted to be at home.

Whinging about going home etc is rude and bratty.

A ten year old was acting like a ten year old, shocker! I’d be unhappy if someone called my child a brat for being impatient or bored and not yet having the ability to navigate a world bigger than their own immediate one. Why not simply observe that he’s being impatient? He’s only ten. OP, next time advocate for your kid. Nothing wrong with acknowledging naughty behaviour but asking that they don’t call your child a brat is perfectly fine, and lets your child know you’re in his corner too

Lordy there's some old Grinches posting on here today.

You can call out behaviour without calling them names. They are children fgs. Would you call adults brats for bratty behaviour? Mist people would find a way to talk to them rather than have a row.

God at 10 years old who wants to be forced to sit round boring, miserable relatives houses on Christmas eve. He could have been a real brat and called the relative a stinky old cow face in retaliation 😂. He's obviously not that rude!

Next time OP leave when he starts getting restless or leave him home - he'll be 11 next year and secondary school age.

Thanks for this message. It was very, very mild irritable behaviour from him that didn’t warrant what was said to him. If he was being super badly behaved, he would be told.

He was in my parents house and neither had an issue with his behaviour either. This morning was very much within the realms of a kid being excited to do stuff for Christmas, it wasn’t super rude or disrespectful (which I wouldn’t have stood for).

I have a kid that will ask (loudly enough for others to hear) to leave so I get that it is annoying to deal with as a parent but that aside, above all else it is really rude.

Your relative calling your child out is really a criticism of your poor parenting which I suspect is why it has hit a nerve with you OP.

Just another quick observation. I think my kid is well behaved. I'm told DC is well behaved in school, at parties etc. But I have become increasingly aware that DC is not well behaved when we are somewhere she'd rather not be or doing something she doesn't want to do.. She makes little effort to hide her boredom and will whinge and whine, so while she is well behaved most of the time, it is only because she is being accommodated most of the time.

Thats the behaviour of a spoilt bratt. At the age of 10 your DC should know not to be rude.

It sounds like generational differences. No one tells off my kids except me and if a MIL or similar tries, she is seriously crossing a line, especially with this kind of dismissive name calling.

I would say the child was definitely rude, however much you tolerate that normally. But it was not for the "relative" to call them a "brat" that was seriously crossing a line.

Christmas eh?

I’d be really disappointed in DD if she didn’t know by ten that she was being really rude. I would have shrugged my shoulders and pointed out that our behaviour has an impact on others and once in a while someone may decide to call you out on your bad behaviour and if she doesn’t want that to happen again she can have a good think about why she was called a brat and how to avoid that label in the future.

I would expect this behaviour from a 5yr old, not a ten year old.

when you don’t know me or my child and to deduce it’s “poor parenting” is crackers.

Jesus Christ they called them a brat not a fucking little nazi. At 10 years old if you act like a brat expect to be called a brat. They know what they are doing and have self control at that age, so pull them up on their behaviour.

You said exactly that in your post.

He was being annoying asking to go home.
You told him to settle down.
He didn't and kept it up.
Family member told him he was being a brat.

Mollie, I think you may need to get off your high horse. You sound daft.

I think this post has gotten a bit nasty, which is sad. I shouldn’t have posted. I won’t be reading further or responding.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

when you don’t know me or my child and to deduce it’s “poor parenting” is crackers

Unless your child has additional needs that you haven't told us about - your ten year old child was being annoying. He was told to stop. He kept it up.

He wasn't behaving well and you didn't ensure he behaved = poor behaviour and poor parenting.

Even though you insist he is usually well behaved, he evidently was not hence your family member calling him out on his behaviour. You are now pissed off and unwilling to see other people's perspectives, including your family member's perspective (who presumably does know both you and your child).