Family member said something I don’t like :(

[Sunflower2478]

Hi everyone,

Just looking to a bit of advice as I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not and need to check myself for being over sensitive!

My ten year old was being a bit impatient this morning about wanting to go back home from a family visit and a family member told him he was being a brat. Yes his behaviour was a bit irritating and I myself told him to settle down a bit, but overall hes a good kid and I don’t like hes been called that on Christmas Eve as well! 😭 I feel really annoyed.

what would your thoughts be?

thanks so much x

Exactly this. Seems like OP doesn’t like being called out either because she’s flounced.

I guess overly emotional yes. Not because it’s. hit any kind of nerve about his behaviour at all - I’m happy for him to be told if he really is behaving badly. I do so myself hence overall I have a well behaved child. My point is, his behaviour didn’t warrant that and I don’t like the word personally so I’m upset he was called something when he didn’t deserve it. Like I said, none of you were there though and I shouldn’t have posted. A bit surprised at all the venom!

Isn't being a brat is different to being rude ?

Why is the term brat so bad? I say to my DS he's being a brat, when he is. I don't get the angst.

No I'd be really pissed off at that as well op.

The festive season can be hard for kids - overstimulated, out of routine, extra junk food, stressed parents, lots of messages to tag along for and loads of visits, lots of excitement and maybe nerves etc. It can be exhausting and a lot for adults but we don't always remember that it's a lot for them too.

Your child is not a brat - they may have acted rude/misbehaved but to calling someone a brat is name calling and isn't acceptable. Its your job as a parent to discipline and correct your child as you see fit which you did - this person had no need to take it upon themselves to insult your child.

I guess the 🍏 don’t fall too far from the 🌳

Stop being a moaner
Stop being so rude
Stop being mardy
Stop being silly
Stop being a whinger
Stop being a brat

Im happy using all of the above when the cap fits. Sick of having all social engagements dictated to and ruined by the unchallenged insolence and brattiness of children old enough to know some basic manners.

I have two children, who’ve been taught not to be brats. My friends, unfortunately, have got brats. And I call a brat a brat (in a breezy but factual way, with a stern look). If more people called out this nonsense then social gatherings would be a lot less like pulling teeth.

Saying the child is a brat.
Saying the behaviour at that moment is rude.

Calling a child a brat is like calling a woman a bitch - pretty extreme

People don’t expect kids to be perfect, but they do expect parents to reign in impolite or rude behaviour - maybe the comment was directed at your parenting rather than the child.

If you’re feeling piqued about it, maybe reflect on what you could do better next time in terms of preparing your child to expect to be a bit bored (it won’t kill them) and to try and have better manners. It’ll reap rewards in long term. No one likes a bratty kid.

It’s not ideal, I don’t think I would say it to someone else’s dc. I have however said it to mine, because he was behaving like a brat.

"Slang
A child or young person who behaves badly or in a spoiled manner. It's generally considered disrespectful and should be avoided."

Totally agree its a very rude term to describe a child.

@FoxLoxInSox"Im happy using all of the above when the cap fits. Sick of having all social engagements dictated to and ruined by the unchallenged insolence and brattiness of children"

Except in this instance it was NOT unchallenged- OP had dealt with her child and reprimanded them so there was no need for another adult to take it upon themselves to insult the child and undermine ops handle on the situation.

I’m guessing it’s a family member you don’t like? My SIL who I think is a massive brat herself said similar to my ds last year. He was being a brat no doubt so I didn’t say anything but I stewed a little bit until I realized I was being silly and let it go.

No it's not lol some posters are going on as if the kid was called a prize winning cunt.
There's another word to get offended at

Well unless you tell us his exact behaviour, it's hard to tell

'Being a bit impatient' could mean many things

What did he say?
What did he do?
Who was it in front of?

I wouldn’t like it either OP. Children can all act up a bit at times - as long as he is generally well behaved - and you generally help him to behave correctly- then there is no need for someone else to stick their oar in.

Ok try the ‘ if a teacher said it to my child test’.

Who still thinks its OK

Quick question if I may, how did your child react to this? Was he upset by it or was it a harsh (but useful) lesson learned?

Not everyone will tread softly around your feelings and will call out what they see, it’s what happens in life.
A fair way to learn how to deal with different personalities in life is maybe a way to frame it?

Ditto

SPOT ON

I have to be honest I wouldn't like someone calling either of my children brats. I don't like it and I wouldn't use it myself. If they're acting up then I would tell them off, and I'd have no problem with a family member doing that appropriately either. But name calling is unpleasant, sets a bad example and is actually also rude....which defeats the point of correcting the child's manners/behaviour really.

Difference is if a family member called my child a brat (justified or not) then I'd have said something to them in the moment in front of my child. Probably along the lines of 'DS, I've told
you, you're being rude and it needs to stop, right now. Any more from you and there will be consequences. Uncle Bob, we don't call people names, that's rude too and you're old enough to know better!'

Giant shrug if they don't like it. Beak out and let me deal with my child, thanks!

End of topic because not all of MN is agreeing with me and the thread isn't going my way.

From what you've said it sounds like he was openly saying that he wanted to leave the house of the family member you were with quicker and was urging you on to get away faster.

It is extremely rude to show impatience to leave the company of the person you're with. Of course social niceties are a learning curve for kids but I hope your standards are high enough that you'd be very embarrassed by that behaviour and strongly correct it. If I've surmised the scene correctly you don't sound half as bothered about it as I would have been!

THIS

Yes.